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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Commemorating due date

13 replies

cheeseislife8 · 14/01/2019 13:23

I had a mmc in the summer. My due date was 30th Jan and as it's getting closer I'm feeling the need to mark it in some way. Maybe planting something or similar.

I just wondered if anyone else has done this and if it helped? Tia xx

OP posts:

InDreamland · 15/01/2019 19:03

I'm so sorry for your loss. We were around the same stage, my baby was due on the 25th this month so I'm dreading Friday next week and how I'll feel. DH has taken the day off work to spend with me as I can't face going to work on that day so booked it off. Not sure what we'll do. After the mc in July (and after a second one in November) we bought a piece of jewellery to remember the baby.

How are you coping? Hope you've been doing ok.

I'm interested to hear how others have marked due dates x

Totallytangerine · 15/01/2019 23:06

I planted a lilac tree in the garden which blooms in May, the month I was due. So every May when I see the blossoms it a special reminder of our lost baby.

Original poster

cheeseislife8 · 16/01/2019 16:08

@InDreamland I'm sorry you're getting to this stage too... I'm dreading it as well. I think it's a good idea to book it off work, and have DH there as well. Jewellery is a nice idea, something you can keep with you.

@totallytangerine that's a really lovely idea. We have more of a yard than a garden but I'd wondered about planting a pot or something... but your tree blooming in May is lovely.

Thank you for your responses, and I'm sorry you're here too

OP posts:

Dreyldn · 19/01/2019 17:39

Hi I am really sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage in April and still feel like I need to do something to honour my child. I appreciate the ideas here, buying a piece of jewelry, planting a tree or buying some object that reminds me of them and I could have in my house. I was thinking of a decorative egg. No one would know but me.

Totallytangerine · 19/01/2019 19:37

@cheeseislife8 Planting in a pot would be lovely. Choose a favourite perennial and make sure the container is big enough with good drainage and it will grow happily. I really hope you find something to remember your baby that is special to you.

I planted the lilac tree in 2015 on my due date and the way it has grown has amazed me. That was my first miscarriage and for my others I have plants in pots around the base of the tree. It is sort of like my own personal memorial to my lost babies. I am currently going through my 5th miscarriage 😢 and go in for surgery on Monday but I will get a plant for it in the spring when the weather is better.

@Dreyldn I love your idea of a decorative egg and your words about no one knowing about it but you struck a chord with me. When people admire my lilac tree and the plants around it, they don’t know what the plants stand for and it feels like a special secret between me and the lost babies.

I hope there are happier times ahead for all of us soon 💐

Original poster

cheeseislife8 · 19/01/2019 20:03

Tangerine I'm so sorry 😢 thinking of you.

Dreyldn I also like the sound of having something that only you know what it means.

Thank you for your responses. Sending love

OP posts:

Totallytangerine · 19/01/2019 21:21

Thank you Cheeseislife. It’s good to share experiences with those who have been through the same. I’ve found miscarriage a lonely journey. I will be thinking of you on the 30th.

InDreamland · 22/01/2019 08:16

Some beautiful ideas bbq here. We're likely to go away just overnight as we don't want to be at home. We already have the jewellery. Thinking a plant would be lovely - only problem is we're not very green fingered, nothing much stays alive in our garden for very long apart from some shrubs and two well established fruit trees.

How are you OP? My due date is on Friday

OnwardsAndUpwards10 · 22/01/2019 08:42

For all of you how have gone through or are going through, this is for you. This photo of the statue always makes me remember my lost baby. I hope it can give you comfort. The reason this women is weeping not because she had a MC, but lost her baby in another way. Still, I think it shows the raw emotion we feel and have felt.

Original poster

cheeseislife8 · 22/01/2019 09:18

@OnwardsAndUpwards10 thats beautiful.

InDreamland I'll be thinking of you on Friday. Getting away might be a good idea!

OP posts:

InDreamland · 23/01/2019 11:38

@OnwardsAndUpwards10 that's beautiful.

Thank you @cheeseislife8

NotAnotherUserName5 · 24/01/2019 15:50

to all of you.

I am feeling the same as you. Like I should do something to remember my baby I lost in pregnancy.

He would of been two this week.
Despite since having my baby, I still think of him.
I have only this week been brave enough to open the scan photo I got.

I love the idea of planting a tree.

Hugs to you all

BabloHoney · 24/01/2019 15:57

My due date for my first pregnancy was January 15th, 5 years ago.

I think everyone else has forgotten now and I keep it to myself, but I always light a candle on the evening of January 15th, and I have a dried forget-me-not in a necklace I wear to quietly remember.

Sending you all much love. Miscarriage is just devastating isn't it.

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