Early miscarriage after crazy year - positive advice please!

[LizaRose81]

I have spent today in hospital after bleeding at first lightly and then more heavily having taken several positive tests last week. It’s been a crazy few days and I still feel a little like I’m dreaming it all. I work very odd hours at Christmas time so I was gobsmacked that this was the month that it all seemed to happening, I didn’t dare believe it but was also quietly positive. I’m trying to take as a positive the fact that we are able to conceive, although I am also trying to stop myself from wondering if I got it all wrong to begin with. I’m very lucky in that my husband and parents (who we had spoken to about it yesterday, largely because I figured we’d need support whatever happened) are all wonderful, so I’ve got a lot of good people around me. I suppose I’m just sharing and hoping some of you have had successes after a miscarriage, and that you’ve made it through subsequent pregnancies without being so terrified that the experience has been marred. Thanks in advance, and happy new year x

@LizaRose81 didn't want to read and run and sorry for your loss it is SO hard.

Going to say to you the things I've been saying to myself the last 4 months since our loss - you can conceive, so it's all working, it shows you and your DH are 'compatible', if it has happened once it can happen again.

One thing I will add though; I was absolutely desperate to be pregnant again as soon as possible and I put way too much pressure on myself and my DH to achieve that. My hormones were all over the place even though it was an early loss and so it made me more upset each month it then didn't work - I wasn't ready, physically or emotionally. We are now cycle 5 after mc. Think I will be very anxious though, when I'm next pregnant.

Babydust for 2019 x

Thank you for your reply, and I’m sorry for your loss too. It’s strange to go through so many ups and downs in the space of a few days/weeks, isn’t it? I hope everything works out for you, I’m sure it will. Thank you for the advice too; I’m trying to be positive and see last night/this morning as an opportunity for a fresh start. We already have loads of lovely plans for January that have nothing to do with starting a family, so the plan is to take a step back and enjoy that for the time being. I really do wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2019. Best wishes xx

Sorry for your loss @LizaRose81.. This time 2 Years ago I was going through an early miscarriage (my second)... Fast forward 2 Years I'm currently sat playing with noisy toys with my 9 month old!
Pregnancy after I did find a bit hard but I think I probably would have been anxious throughout anyway.. There's a group on here.. Pregnancy after miscarriage / loss that really kept me and and was a great support 😊
Hope 2019 is a good year for u

Sorry for you loss lizaRose
I lost my baby on 15/12/2018 so I'm going through it now as well.
We've had a rough time of it after a premature baby and then TTC for over a year just to lose it.
But I will say one thing that is actually helping is doing small positive things, watch a film, talk to friends ect, whatever makes you happy.
Its OK to be sad, you need to grieve and feel all the emotions you are having but making small happy moments makes it a little easier to bear.
Hope everything goes OK for you

Sorry you're going through this. I had my DD after two losses so although it's horrible it doesn't mean you won't go on to have a successful pregnancy x

Thank you all. I slept like a log last night (totally exhausted, I think) and woke up with a spring in my step. I thought it seemed odd but didn’t question it. Mid morning, I totally hit a wall. Cancelled plans, wanted to scream from a hilltop somewhere, wouldn’t stop crying. I’ve gone back to bed and slept again. I have found a huge amount of comfort in all your messages, so thank you. I hope that things improve/continue to get better for all of you. Thank you all once again x

You were all such a support last month that I thought I’d try your clever, comforting minds again. After the above we decided to just keep going and see what happened next. I thought it might take me a while to settle down, and actually I did ovulate quite late last month. I was checking with OPKs and thought I might have missed it when it happened several days later than normal. So I ignored my app when it kept insisting my period was due yesterday as I thought it must be tomorrow (Saturday). I held off testing and yesterday morning almost on a whim I took an early response test which to my amazement came up positive. I tried to stay calm yesterday and for the moment part managed it, but this morning I’m a nervous wreck! I know more this time and when this morning’s test looked fractionally lighter than yesterday’s I could feel myself getting anxious. It’s since settled and while the control line is also a bit lighter (just a slightly different thickness due to it being a different test stick I guess) the test line is almost identical if not a teeny bit darker. I did a week’s indicator one which says 1-2. I should be over the moon - and I am - but I’m so afraid of the same thing happening! I’m ok until I need the loo (too much info?!) as I’m afraid of what I might see. Anyway. I guess I just wondered if this is normal. I’m pretty calm now I’ve woken up and listened to the radio, started getting ready for work etc and I know I can’t be stressed forever but some words of advice would be greatly appreciated! We haven’t told anybody yet. Thanks all - I actually can’t wait to start feeling sick and throwing up as at least I’ll know something is happening! Xx

I think that this is absolutely normal @LizaRose81 and I know that I'll be exactly the same.
Try to stay positive and use distraction techniques, I find audio books are good to stop the mind wandering. Try and get loads of fresh air.
Sorry I don't really have any proper advice except to say that you are normal!
And congratulations!! it's great news! Xx

Congratulations!
Your feelings are very normal
When I got bfp after 2 mc I felt like I didn't dare breathe until I had a scan
Everything was fine and ds is now 10

Thank you both. glowingtwigs, I hope things have worked out for you or will do in the near future. It’s such a stressful time! I never expected it to be easy but I didn’t realise how hard it would be, and it’s all relatively early days in our whole journey yet. jackstini thank you, that’s really encouraging and a lovely story! I’ve found this community so supportive and I hope I will be able to return the favour one day. I’ve just done more tests, which are definitely positive and while I don’t think they’re any lighter than the ones from previous days, they don’t look much darker either. I’m trying not to panic myself and to take tests as reassurance or to brace myself for bad news but I’m not sure it’s working! I also went to the loo at 5:30 this morning whereas the first day I did a test I’d slept for at least 7 hours. So many thoughts! I realise this sounds like the ramblings of a mad woman so thank you for indulging me! I also spoke to my mum, who is an amazing person generally, and apologised for not breaking it as happy news. She said not to worry as she’d already guessed since I hadn’t spoken to her in 2 days! Darn it. Thank you all, have a lovely Saturday and genuinely all the luck in the world for everything, you don’t know how much a message on a forum can help xxx

@LizaRose81 thank you! Hope I'll have some positive news soon.
I think you should try and step away from the tests now, they make anxiety worse. Even when you get a clearly darker one it will only help for that day and you'll be back to worrying. Try to imagine everything being perfect. I read this thing about where you imagine the little baby like a spark growing stronger and stronger into a light. Sounds a bit crazy but I liked it. Xx

That’s a lovely image, thank you. I really hope you get good news too xxx