22 weeks any support :-(

[Katnissbb8]

Hi all I’m new here but I’m struggling, I surprisingly found out I was pregnant back in May, everything was going fine then we found out the inevitable. I was beside myself. I was given the option to deliverbnaturally or have a D+C, at the time I felt like going through delivery would be too traumatic for me so I decided on the D+C Which I now deeply regret, I don’t understand why no one tried to persuade me to deliver. I was just so upset and scared that I thought been put to sleep to get it all over with would be easier emotionally. Now il never get to know what my baby looked like and it’s really effecting me. Not to mention losing her at such a late stage I cannot handle my emotions, I wasn’t planning on having a baby but now I’ve gone through this I have really strong maternal instincts and want to nurture and care for my baby. My milk came in which was too much to bear, it’s been 10 weeks today and I’m not getting any better. If anything I feel worse, why does life have to be so cruel? Does anyone have any words of support? Will I get through this? Her EDD is in January and I just don’t know how il survive.

I have no experience of this but so sorry to read what you are going through, how awful! It will be rough but you will get through it one day at a time. I know that's cliche but that's the only way to get through traumatic events. Have you seen a councillor or considered it? Talking to a professional might help.

I’m sorry for your loss

I had a loss at 21+3, I went into early labour so I had no choice but to deliver and it happened really suddenly and I was in total shock. There’s nothing that I can say to make you feel better but know that you are not alone with what you are going through.

The due date was tough, it was 2 years ago last week. We went away for a few days, just to switch off and think about our boy.

Time does heal, but you never forget.

Thank you ladies for your kind words, I am seeing a therapist and I’ve also been referred to a pregnancy/ bereavement therapist it’s just taking time to come through. Don’t get me wrong I do feel ‘better’ than I did, I had suicidal thoughts the days after the procedure :-( luckily they have passed and I’ve been prescribed sertraline 100mg which I was reluctant to take initially, but I persevered and it seems to have helped my mood. I just miss her even though I never saw her, I began to imagine life with a daughter which after 2 sons was so exciting to finally go down the girly aisle. I should feel lucky I have two healthy boys however this as just heightened my dream for a girl. I feel lost :-( I’m scared to approach my OH on TTC when we wasn’t trying at this point, but then also if I have a baby I worry if it’s a boy. I sound horrible and selfish even guilty for feeling this way, I was so close to having the daughter I’ve always dreamt of and she’s gone... it’s surreal I still cannot accept it. Sorry I’m babbling... I just feel in such a despair that it’s questioned my own life and what I want from it. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss too blueroses, it’s truly horrendous but yet seems hard to talk about, my family don’t seem to understand. My mum keeps saying ‘you can always try again’ ‘you can have another baby’ etc... which I know she’s only trying to be positive but to me I’m a mother of 3 yet my daughter is in heaven before even reaching earth. Did u go on to try again? I have no idea how to deal with her EDD we both want a tattoo for her and we plan on buying a nicer memory box for her ‘things’ my heart goes out to anyone who suffers this kind of loss it’s heartbreaking x

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter at 20 weeks after my waters went, she was too early to survive.

It's the hardest thing I've ever experienced. Like you I have 2 son's and was so excited to be having a much wanted daughter. Its 8 months today since she was born and although I miss her everyday and some days are harder than others we some how manage.

I also feel a strong urge to have another child but unfortunately I'm having problems at the moment.

I had berveament councelling and found it helped, hopefully you aren't waiting to long.

Hi ladies! Oh I’m so sorry for your losses :-( I didn’t realise how common it is. I took my pregnancies with my boys for granted, I was younger then though! I’ve had a mixed day, a robin started singing near me and perched on my car door for 20 seconds and I saw that as a sign she’s at peace, i put my Xmas tree up and forget I had 1 robin bauble so that’s at the top next to the star. It’s brought me a lot of comfort :-) I still feel sad and I had a wobble in the shopping centre hearing babies crying but I’ve accepted il have them moments. Aww our stories sound some what similar obblegobble, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter, I keep been told time heals let’s just hope and pray that it does. Wheretolivenow... my heart goes out to you going through this twice! Life is so very unfair :-( thank you for sharing your experiences, for me I was a wreak and honestly wasn’t thinking straight I feel like I only really have my scan photos to remember her by but then again I don’t think I would have coped emotionally labouring her, the thought of D&C turns my stomach though :-( I suppose it can’t be changed now and I know that either option would have been difficult and I wouldn’t of known how I felt if it was one way or the other. Sending you e hugs xox