In January I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks... followed by a suspected in May (didn’t test in time), and I’m currently in the midst of another at 5 weeks.
After my first I found my confidence had taken a severe dent... as in my confidence to do things that had previously been every day for me.
Horse riding has been my thing since I was 3... a couple of years ago my horse dropped dead from heart attack and I’ve only ridden sporadically since. Shortly after he died I bought a new young horse, and since he was broken this year I’ve been a nervous wreck riding him out, stupid stuff that would never have bothered me before literally has me wanting to cry at my self for being so pathetic. I just can’t face fighting with him or dealing with youngster behaviour.
Secondly at work... if I’m out under pressure I bottle it. I’ve ended up in tears infont on senior management with no explanation as to why. I’ve also been in the midst of a promotion that has been ongoing since June... I bottled negotiating that too.
I’ve not told anybody about our issues, my husband has not taken things well and I just keep hoping we will get there next time.
Has anybody got any advice or similar experience? Thank you!