Going through a missed miscarriage

[Roselondon1]

Hi this is my first post and unfortunately a sad one. I was told last week at an early scan that my baby had no heartbeat. I was 8 weeks but baby had stopped growing at 7+3. This was my first pregnancy. I am now filled with all sorts of emotions and cry at the drop of a hat. I get upset because I no longer have to think about what food I’m ordering and that sets me off, or I no longer have to think about lifting a super heavy object. I’m waiting for a second scan on Thursday so that I can potentially have some treatment. In an ideal world everything would happen naturally. I have heard that having surgical management can effect fertility in the future so I’m thinking I should avoid that. I’m so confused and I feel silly for being so sad over something that was so early on. But I can’t help myself xx

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Everything you feel, all the emotions and grief is totally natural. You've not just lost your baby but also all your plans hopes and dreams. Cry when you need to cry. I hope you have good support around you. If you haven't already have a look on the miscarriage association website, you may find it useful. My first was natural and my second mc had just started so I cannot comment on ERPC but I know many ladies have or and go on to conceive again. Be kind to yourself. When you're feeling ready maybe look into some counselling x

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I recently miscarried last month so I know how awful it feels. I should have been 11 weeks pregnant but found out at an early scan my baby had died at 9 weeks. It’s still raw and I still have nights where all I do is cry so don’t be hard on yourself. I choose to have the EPRC op as I couldn’t deal with not knowing when I would miscarry and what I would see etc. I have to say it was relatively painless (I needed no pain relief and I’m usually a wuss). In terms of fertility I’ve heard the opposite in that it can make it easier to conceive because the uterus is smooth after the op. You do whatever feels right, there is no right or wrong answer. Xx

Sorry to hear your sad news. I know everyone is different but I conceived just 3 months after my missed miscarriage- DS is now 17 x

I've had two mcs (12 weeks and 7 weeks). With 12 weeks baby measured small so they allowed me medical management at home. I'm not going to sugar coat it. It wasn't nice. I felt very sick and cramps (probably like a severe severe period cramps). With medical management you also have a lot of bowel movement (sorry for tmi). However once the sac and tissue passed the pain lessened. I took codeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen throughout which helped. My second mc occurred naturally and was a lot easier. I didn't have to wait long as it occurred the day after the mc was confirmed.

I am currently pregnant again and if I have another mc I will do medical management again. It was horrible but I felt it helped me to go through that process at home and aided my grief slightly. I know that may not make sense and I can't explain it but it did for me.

I wouldn't worry too much about 'seeing anything' as while I could identity the sac etc without looking closely you can't see much. My 12 week loss measured 8 weeks and I did have a look (again not for everyone but helped me) and there was not much evident. Other people could be different this is just my experience.

I'm sorry you're going through such a shit time. If you do decide to go through mm then please pm me so I can help you with any practical advice. A friend of mine miscarried before me and she gave me a list of items to buy (like big pants) and tips which really helped me know what to expect.

Thinking of you 💐

hello,

this happened to me last week too - should of been nearly 9 weeks baby measuring just under 8 when previously there had been a heartbeat there wasn't one this scan. had an erpc Thursday as couldn't bare waiting for my body to realise - just wanted it to be done with as callous as that sounds. to be honest you need to do what's right for you - all the risks are explained properly to you regarding all ways - natural, medicine and surgery it's what feels right for you. hope you're okay, it's a horrible thing to go through. I am going to be trying again as soon as I can as I feel it's the only thing that will make me feel marginally better. take care x

@Roselondon I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having to go through this.

We suffered a MMC at 10+3 (baby stopped growing at 9+3) back in June. Although I guess in a way it wasn’t completely missed as I’d had a small amount of bleeding. We were devastated as it had taken us 2.5 years to conceive after a previous early M/C at 5/6 weeks.

I had surgery and it was brilliant. I was able to draw a line under it and move on - no ill effects afterwards, no pain just a bit of bleeding. I just wanted to reassure you that I’m now almost 12 weeks pregnant and going for my first scan next Tuesday xxx

Sorry so many of your are going through this.

I've just today begun miscarrying. I thought I was 10+4 but epu inform me that baby died at 7 weeks. I feel like by body's totally betrayed me. Not for the mc, but for letting my blindly carry on for almost a month in total ignorance

Hi Rose,

I’m so sorry to hear your news. How did you get on with your scan today?

I’m also new here and am joining because I’ve had a missed miscarriage this week (8 weeks +4 but they think the baby stopped growing at 6/7 weeks).

I had no idea that early miscarriages were so common, particularly in first pregnancies. Wish I’d known more about the statistics beforehand! it has all been such a shock and a rollercoaster of emotions this week.

The EPU midwife has given me a few days to think about which option to take. Would love to hear what you decide and how you get on.

I’m thinking of the MVA as I’m scared of a general anaesthetic with ERPC. I’m not sure I can face waiting for nature to take its course. Has anyone else been through the MVA?

Thank you to everyone who posted with helpful advice about their experiences. It’s really good to hear others have been able to conceive again after MC. Were you all advised to wait a while before trying again? I have heard conflicting things.

Hope you have some good support around you, Rose. If you want to DM me any time, I’d be happy to talk though. X

Hi Rose, I’m so, so sorry to hear about this. I literally got this exact same news yesterday & am still processing it. Spent a lot of yesterday crying & wondering what’s wrong with me. And unfortunately my partner hasn’t been as supportive & comforting as I had expected him to be.

It was an unplanned pregnancy, but after the initial shock, we were both happy & started planning our future, so now I just feel empty, numb and heartbroken.

I apologise if I’m rambling on, but I don’t know anybody personally who has had a miscarriage, so none of my loved ones really understand what I’m going through.
I was 8 weeks + 3, but found out the baby had stopped developing weeks ago, and last night I started to get really bad cramps & very heavy bleeding & clots. I usually have really bad periods, so at the moment, it just feels like that, but I’m not sure how long this is going to last. I have another scan in a week, so I guess I’ll see what they say.

In the meantime, if anybody wants to get in touch just to talk or anything I’d really appreciate it. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m hijacking this thread, but I haven’t been able to sleep & literally signed up an hour ago, as I wanted to be in contact with other women who understand exactly how awful this is.

Rose, I really hope everything goes well for you whatever you decide. xx

Hi SweetDreamer1,

I’m very new here too, and as per my rather long post above, am currently going through an early miscarriage.
So if you wanted to DM me to talk through anything, I’d be more than happy to. xx

Rose
How are you doing?
I'm in hospital today ahead of my medical management procedure. Hoping it means everything will be over with soon for me

Hi everyone, I went to hospital yesterday for my second scan to confirm the missed miscarriage. I got so upset I couldn’t make a decision on what to do next and had to go home. When I got home I started bleeding and throughout the night I had terrible cramps and passed three large clots. Still bleeding like a normal period. Feels like my body took the choice out of my hands. It wasn’t pleasant but it wasn’t as bad as I had read/heard. I now feel loads better and feel I can get bck to being myself and move on from this sad phase in my life. J hope all you ladies are doing ok. I’m no expert but always happy to talk xxx

Sweet dreamer - I have had two MVAs folllowing two missed miscarriages. They were painful, but over very quickly, and my recovery physically was easy- up and about straight away, no pain afterwards and not much bleeding at all. I’ve never had a general anaesthetic so was keen to avoid this.

Just found out at my 12wk scan today that I’ve had a silent mc. Completely crushed. Hospital didn’t tell me at what stage baby died but you couldn’t d see much on the scan so I’m guessing it didn’t progress much after 6 wks.
Been told to go home and wait for the bleeding to start, if nothing happens in 2 wks to call back for surgery.
I have a little girl that’s just two and was so excited about the new baby as I got diagnosed with cancer shortly after my daughter was born so was really looking forward to going to hospital for a good reason then to be given this shit news is heartbreaking and now I have to wait to pain and heavy bleeding 🤬
Gutted ☹️

Sorry to hear of your experience OP, and what other posters have also gone through. Mine was several years ago, but I went for my 12 week scan thinking I'd be telling everyone about my pregnancy straight after, but found out the baby had died a few weeks earlier. I was devastated as we'd taken a few years trying to conceive due to fertility problems. I had the ERPC procedure. I went on to have one unsuccessful round of IVF and then conceived naturally - twice within two years! Now have two beautiful and healthy DDs.

I hope you all have the support you need to get through your MC traumas. Regardless of how early it happened within your pregnancy, it's still the loss of a baby which you've developed an emotional attachment to. I wish you all luck with any future attempts at TTC.

JoRH I am so sorry to hear that, and it sounds particularly cruel that they haven’t given you any other options other than waiting to misscary naturally. There are other options, so do push for more support of you’re not happy to just wait. Thinking of you at what is an awful time. Xx