3 weeks after a late miscarriage & D&C

[NotToday1601]

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago after my miscarriage and had some wonderful and supportive messages which was really touching, so Thank-you to those who replied.

Nearly 3 weeks ago, I had a late miscarriage at 15weeks 4 days due to incompetent cervix. I delivered our baby boy at home, totally unprepared as I went to the toilet and couldn't prevent my body from contracting. I had to go into hospital to deliver the placenta, although I got to the hospital early afternoon the hospital put me on the emergency list for surgery but then didn't do it until the following day as the surgeons get tired at night and didn't want to do it! All the while me and my husband were sat in a treatment room in the maternity ward with our baby boy in a box. We have to return to the hospital today for a meeting with the chaplain for the funeral arrangements and I am feeling really overwhelmed by it.

Almost 3 weeks on I'm still bleeding, although it seems to be tailing off. Physically I can feel my body starting to return to its original state However my anxiety is through the roof, I struggle to leave the house alone and avoid any eye contact. I made it to a yoga class yesterday morning (only because I planned the route to a T and knew it wouldn't be busy, or that I'd see anyone I knew) but since then have just felt really low. Im off work at the moment and due back next week, although our sons funeral is also next week. The thought of walking back into the office literally sends me into a cold sweat. The company I work for are incredibly supportive, I have a senior role overseeing a large department and my close colleagues have all been really supportive but still, the thought of going back to work is terrifying me.

It took us 4 years and 4 IVF attempts to get pregnant so we were overjoyed when it finally happened and those closest to us were too, which I think makes this seem harder and might be contributing to why I'm avoiding people.

Sorry for the ranty post... I have woken up with a terrible headache, DH says that I keep calling out and screaming in my sleep although I don't recall!

Does anyone have any experience of this and have any words of wisdom? I can't help but feel like people will think I'm ridiculous for feeling this way, I just can't seem to pick myself up

I haven't experienced what you have but I have had a miscarriage and one of my best friends delivered her stillborn boy at my 24 weeks. You have been through such a traumatic and heart breaking experience and it's all still so recent and raw. You need to take as much time as you need, if you need to arrange some more time off after th me funeral then do that. Don't worry about the long term just now, just concentrate in getting through each day at a time and keep talking to your partner. Take care x

Hi, I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s so tough. I can totally identify with how you feel about returning to work. When I went back after my mc I found it really tough. What helped me was going back on a phased return, it helped me to know I wasn’t at work for the whole day and was able to tell myself it was just a few hours so was able to hold it better for a shorter day. I was still crying on the way there and at times in the toilet but it did help me to try and get back into it.

I’m saying that and I’ve actually had to phone in sick today because I’ve been struggling mentally. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions. I miscarried in September at 11 weeks.

Sending you love for your sons funeral. Xx

Thank you both for your replies and sorry to you both for your losses.

I think that a phased return might be a very good idea, it might help to make it less overwhelming. I can totally understand how you are experiencing trauma and emotions so soon after DramaQueen allow those emotions to come out as and when they arise.

Sending you both lots of love and hope for the future xxx