Struggling.

[Lynsey06]

I had a traumatic miscarriage at the start of August and I am still struggling with it all.
It resulted in an emergency operation and nearly a month off work but I am still not coping well.

I am so so happy for anyone around me who gets pregnant but deep down I am crumbling. I can't stop crying at the minute and I am starting to worry that people think I am overreacting and that I should be getting on with it.
We had been trying for 2 years and this was the first time we had managed to conceive.

Please help, what did you do to help get through the sad and low times.
Thanks in advance.

, nothing practical sorry, It’s not that long ago, so no wonder you are still very upset.

I'm just going through my first miscarriage after 5 years of ttc this was the first time we had gotten pregnant and our first ivf cycle. I don't have any words of wisdom but I just wanted to say your not over reacting, your grieving. I don't think we just grieve a loss with a miscarriage, in lots of ways I can get to grips with the biological loss but I do struggle with the loss of what could have been and I think that's why I also struggle with new mums and pregnant friends. I had let myself believe, for just a little while, that the tide had turned and I would be a mum and we would have a family. The thought of never having a baby absolutely terrifies me and just thinking about what that means for my future self regularly brings me to tears.
I'm sorry I can't offer any words of wisdom and I really hope you feel better soon.

Thank you so much for that, I'm sorry for your struggle. I just keep telling myself it will happen, our time will come but I'm slowly starting to come to the conclusion maybe it won't. Thankfully I have an amazing partner who wants to go through the adoption route if we cannot have our own.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's still raw and will hurt. You'll never get over it but as the years pass you will learn how to cope with the loss of your much loved and wanted baby (ar least that's what I think I believe). You're grieving so all the feelings and emotions are natural. I lost our baby at 12 weeks pregnant on 16th July this year and I am still crying a lot - it took us 5 years TTC to get pregnant. I also don't feel like socialising and can't cope with pregnancy or birth announcements or seeing pregnant women and prams and babies. It is all a natural part of grieving not just your baby but all the hopes, dreams and plans you had. Have you tried counselling? If you need to protect yourself from heartache by avoiding other's pregnancies then do it, you need to put yourself first. I hope you have good support around you at this really terrible time. Cry if you need to cry. Remember, it is okay to not be okay - you have been through something no mother should ever have to experience.

@Runner31 I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this too. Take all the time you need to heal emotionally and physically from this horrible experience.

So sorry for your loss - it's a tough time indeed. It takes time to heal from this. Having been through 2 babylosses I've now written a book which I hope will help women heal. One of the hardest things is when a friend tells you they are pregnant. It brings up all sorts of feelings and like you say even though you are happy for your friend it still hurts. I run a FB support group, if you'd like to join you'd be very welcome. We talk lots about how miscarriage affects us and what we can do etc
www.facebook.com/groups/1274586595932991/
Not wanting to spam, just to let you know it's available should you need more support.

Give yourself the gift of time to heal, there are no hard and fast rules on how long it "should" take. Take each day as it comes.

Sending you much love at this difficult time.