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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Just started miscarrying and my wedding is in 4 days... any advice?

33 replies

Hopefulbride18 · 15/10/2018 08:00

Hello,

This is my first time posting on here.
I just wondered if anyone had any advice really. I am 6 weeks pregnant. Yesterday evening (after a few days of brown spotting on and off) I started bleeding brown/red blood. I have accepted that this means I’m probably starting to miscarry. This has continued over night but not heavily, I’ve also got mild stomach cramps and back pain.
One of the main things that’s worrying me is that I’m getting married on Friday and I terrified of the worst of the miscarriage hitting then and suddenly bleeding loads in my wedding dress in front of everyone. To add to this, I’m then off on a long haul flight for my honeymoon 2 days after.

I know it was very stupid to let myself get pregnant the month before my wedding but I reasoned that surely it was unlikely I would both a)get pregnant and b)then miscarry around the time of the wedding. Unfortunately both happened.

So far, I have done a questionnaire on NHS 111 which advised me to ring my GP urgently. I will do this but need to wait until 8:30 when the surgery opens. Would anyone advise anything else?
This is my first pregnancy and miscarriage so not sure how long this is likely to go on for.
Thank you x

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 15/10/2018 08:01

I had an mc at just over 6 weeks. It shouldnt be an issue by the wedding x

Original poster
Hopefulbride18 · 15/10/2018 09:00

Thank you, that is really reassuring.

OP posts:
somethingfromnothing · 15/10/2018 09:10

I’ve had several miscarriages around 6 weeks and for me the worst of the bleeding was over with in just a few days.

Sorry this is happening to you x

cloudtree · 15/10/2018 09:13

I had a few days off work when I miscarried but it was slightly later than yours. See what the doctor/hospital say Flowers

sprinkleofsunshine · 15/10/2018 09:33

Sorry to hear this op Thanks

Original poster
Hopefulbride18 · 15/10/2018 10:37

Thank you all for your kind messages.

My GP surgery advised I called the local EPU which I did. I spoke to someone there who said that it doesn’t sound as though I’m loosing enough blood for it to be a miscarriage at this stage. She advised that unless I suddenly get stronger cramping pains and red bleeding that I should just watch and wait for now.

So I guess I’m just to wait with my fingers crossed and pray this was not as bad as I initially thought.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 15/10/2018 10:39

so very sorry and hope it is a false alarm. Have you told your travel insurers that you are pregnant?

Growingboys · 15/10/2018 10:42

Good luck OP. Flowers

ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName · 15/10/2018 10:45

I had some very red bleeding at around 5-6 weeks with back pain and cramping. Was convinced that I was miscarrying but that baby is a very bouncing 2yo now. Have you got an EPU you can self refer to as they may be able to scan you.

EmmaJR1 · 15/10/2018 12:04

I don't want to give you false hope but my sister had this 3 times early in her last pregnancy and now she has a beautiful 7 week old daughter so I'm hoping for the same for you.

Good luck for your wedding. Try to take it easy as much as possible and take it day by day.

0ccamsRazor · 15/10/2018 12:07

I am so sorry for your loss Op Sad

I wish you all the best on your wedding day, I hope that you feel better soon.

Flowers
Icklepup · 15/10/2018 12:13

I too hope it's a false alarm Flowers

PixieCutRegret · 15/10/2018 12:22

So sorry this is happening OP. Don't call yourself stupid, you've done nothing to deserve this. I had a miscarriage slightly later then that, the first couple of days were the worst, it was like a heavy period really. I did have one incident of heavier bleeding and cramping over a couple of hours which I presume is when I actually lost the pregnancy (sorry if this is TMI).

What is your dress like OP? Not really what you want to wear on your wedding day but what I experienced was nothing the big maternity pads couldn't handle, even if you arent bleeding heavily on the day you could wear one for reassurance.
Have you got a bridesmaid? If so I would let her know and have her carry a small handbag with spare pads, paracetamol etc.

I would definitely go back to the EPU and ask for a scan, you really need to confirm it's not an ectopic before going abroad.

Flowers OP, I hope you do have a lovely day.

happyrayoflight · 15/10/2018 12:29

Op seriously don't let them fob you off, you need to go to your early pregnancy unit at your local hospital for a scan. Whilst you can have bleeds and remain pregnant you may be starting a miscarriage. They can takes days or weeks.

I've had a pregnancy where I had a little spotting and and small bleed - fresh blood size of a 50p. And the baby was fine. He's 2 now !!

And I've just had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks but scan showed pregnancy ended at 6 weeks. It has been really up and down. I've been fine like a heavy period some days and some I've been gushing blood others.

I really hope you are ok but honestly you need to get checked.

Good luck.

MissSusanSays · 15/10/2018 12:34

Hi OP

The same happened to me a few years ago. I would suggest letting a few key people know to support you- a bridesmaid for example. I was still bleeding at the wedding but practiced going to the loo in the big white dress with my sister on the morning and had her carry some really big pads for me for when I needed them. I also had her carry some pain killers for me.

Get yourself checked out at EPU too. And take care of yourself. And try not to let it take the shine off your day. I let myself be pulled down so much that I cannot really think about my wedding without negative connotations and I wish I’d not let it take over what was supposed to be a happy event.

Original poster
Hopefulbride18 · 15/10/2018 13:59

Hi all,

Thank you so much for the continued advice and support.
@PixieCutRegret it’s lace nipped in at the wait and goes straight down so I have reasoned with my MOH that I can probably fit a big pad down there for safety as I think that will massively reassure me!

@happyrayoflight I did speak to EPU but she didnt seem to think there was any need for me to come in just yet. She basically said I need to wait and see if it gets heavier or more painful, which it hasn’t yet thank goodness.

@MissSusanSays thank you for sharing your story. I think that will be our plan too. MOH will bring a bag with all I need in so we can do that if needed. I am desperately trying to remain positive and not let this cloud the wedding day, I’ve been looking forward to it for so long, if I do end up MC I want that day to be a happy memory for us whatever.

OP posts:
happyrayoflight · 15/10/2018 17:54

I totally understand trying to remain positive. I didn't do anything about the small bleed in my first pregnancy and went to my 12 week scan and it was all fine. But it was a tiny bit of spotting and a one off bleed no pain, no cramps .

Then maybe I was extremely unlucky this miscarriage,it has not been over in a few days. I cannot imagine going on a long haul flight aboard without checking what was happening.

But I totally get it. Ignorance is bliss and keeps the hope. Even after a large bleed this time, I had a tiny little 1% hope it would be fine. And I was upset when it was confirmed it was not ok.

It's good you spoke to the EPU. If the bleeding is continuing over a number of days the do go in.

Thanks
Growingboys · 16/10/2018 09:29

How you doing OP? Really hope aok

Emma765 · 16/10/2018 09:35

OP my EPU saw me for a scan same day just for some spotting. Don't let them fob you off x

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 16/10/2018 09:37

I agree, push the EPU for a scan, sending best wishes x

Original poster
Hopefulbride18 · 16/10/2018 13:40

Hi all,

I had another small spurt of red bleeding last night with cloth bits in plus clamping so I called and they agreed I could come in for a scan today.

I’ve just had the scan and the sonographer found the pregnancy. The fetal pole was measuring small (2.4mm) for 6+1 weeks (going by my LMP and I am regular). But she thought she could see a heartbeat which was confusing.

She basically said the bleeding isn’t a good sign though so even if it is alive today that could obviously all change tomorrow.

We told her about the wedding and the honeymoon and she said that there’s nothing to be done but pray it doesn’t happen that day. She gave me some paperwork to take with me to our holiday for if I do need to go into hospital there. She basically said though it’s small, not eptopic if I miscarry abroad just wait it out unless bleeding becomes too heavy.

Thank you all for your concern and well wishes x

OP posts:
Emma765 · 16/10/2018 19:52

Sorry you're still in limbo, OP.

I had spotting at 6 weeks, so less blood than you but they didn't see fetal pole at all on my scan, just a sac and said I was probably 5 weeks gone instead. They did another a week later and said I was 6w 6d.

Glad you know it's not ectopic.

beincki · 18/10/2018 21:23

Hope everything's still ok OP and you manage to have a wonderful wedding day tomorrow.

TheSunlightsCreepingIn · 18/10/2018 22:30

Yes good luck for your wedding !

TheSunlightsCreepingIn · 18/10/2018 22:31

Opps sorry I've name changed again I was happyray...