ERPC or medical management?

[RhubarbRocks]

We found out we have a missed miscarriage last week. I should now be 9 weeks 2 days but the baby died a couple of weeks ago.

I’m booked in for an ERPC on Tuesday. I’m now having second thoughts - I’m worried that I won’t come to terms with it/believe it has happened if I’m not conscious when I lose the baby.

Nothing is happening naturally. I have been here before and it took weeks naturally last time. It was a terrible experience, and I found it very painful and traumatic, but at least I ‘know’ it happened.

In contrast, a previous D&C (as it was called then) left me feeling very disorientated.

So I’m considering Medical Management. My partner thinks I am a bit crazy to consider it. He is also worried as he has to travel for work this week (really no choice at all and he feels awful about it) so I will be alone. I am worried about it continuing for days and not being able to cope.

Any advice on choosing between the two? I feel totally incapable of making a decision at the moment. I have to go to the EPU tomorrow for blood tests so I know I can ask them, but your honest views would be appreciated, thank you.

Sorry you are going through this experience. I am 4 weeks down the line of a confirmed MMC at 12 weeks.

I tried Medical management twice and it didn't work for me. EPU gave me a leaflet to say it does not always work for 20% of people and sadly I was one of them. I did however get all the cramping a pain that last for about 4 hours on each occasion. I didn't like the experience and was pleased my husband was with me. EPU also made a point of making sure I was not on my own as the drugs are given to you at the hospital then straight home to wait. I would not advice being on your own at home. They also said the bleeding can some be very heavy. You really must have someone with you.

My only option was as you op which I had 7 days ago. I was so scared never been to hospital for anything. However the nurses were so kind to me and yes I felt lost not knowing what had happened to me but for me this was a much kinder experience then the medical management.

You have to choose what is right for you. I got the stage where I had been bleeding for 3 weeks and I just wanted it all to stop. There is no wrong or right answer, just don't be alone.

I’ve had all 3....mc followed by d&c, completely natural mc after a mmc and a month a go medical management for mmc. Of the 3 medical management was the best for me...but you have to do what is right for you.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had 3 miscarriages, 2 missed (both found at 12 week scan) and one natural (6 weeks). I chose surgical management for both MMC as I just wanted it to be over- first time they had me in next day after confirmation scan, baby hadn't developed past 6 weeks. Everything went smoothly and I felt it was the least traumatic option.

Second time was less smooth- baby died at 13 weeks, I had to wait a week for surgery. The dilating drugs they have me worked too well and I miscarried on the hospital floor, had to go to theatre anyway as I haemorrhaged and needed a transfusion. Seeing the baby and blood (sorry to be graphic) and going through the pain was so much more traumatic than going to sleep and everything being finished.

I hope you're able to find the route that works for you and you're able to find some peace x

Thank you everyone. I had a chat with the nurse at the EPU this morning when I went for blood tests. I have decided to go ahead with the ERPC tomorrow on the basis she said that it is likely to be over faster, and with a clear date of when it happened which means we can start TTC again sooner. Thanks for all the advice.