Lost at 7 week - What to expect?

[McOwen]

Hi - yesterday I found out my baby had no heartbeat and my body is already starting with a period/expelling (such a horrible phrase). It's already like really bad period pains.

Just wondered what I'm likely to experience next physically? How long people tried before trying again successfully? (Please bare in mind I'm 35yrs).

This was my first pregnancy, we weren't properly trying but were over the moon to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks and now I just feel empty. I had an inkling something wasn't right a couple of days ago when I woke up and my boobs were no longer sore and I just didn't feel pregnant anymore. It was weird. Then I started spotting in the middle of a meeting - booked myself a scan that day and found out.

Just gutted. Any advice on how to progress/find positives/help wonderful partner through this is also appreciated.

X

Hi @McOwen
So sorry to read you're going through this. We miscarried yesterday at 8 weeks and this was our first pregnancy. Luckily (?) I started naturally so they believe the rest will come away on its own in the next couple of days.
I also feel incredibly empty and don't know what to do with myself. I'm exhausted but don't want to go to sleep and wake up knowing I'm definitely not pregnant.
Hope you're doing ok, and I'm here for a handhold if you need xx

@McOwen so sorry you're going through this. I had a miscarriage naturally in August and the day I was told I was miscarrying was the day the bleeding got worse. Defo dose yourself up and maybe a hot water bottle as it helps. Make sure someone's with you if you'd like. I had this due to what I was passing as it made me quite upset just know you're not alone and if you feel you need a rant cry or anything we are all here x x

Thank you both and am so sorry for your losses too.

The physical pain was unbelievable but am past the worst of that I think. It just feels so weird getting your head round being pregnant and then making space in your heart for someone you'd never met and now will never arrive. Today is my first time alone - partner has been amazing but he's back at work today.

We took plenty of time out yesterday to talk. It was nice to remember we have things to be grateful for but am struggling with the dates in the future I was looking forward to for completely different reasons. Also I was supposed to meet my friends and their children/babies this weekend and I can't face it. Feel awful. Am I wrong to not go?

I just wish there was a way of saying goodbye and also that people were more open or less squeamish about miscarriages. Now I know it happens to so many brave women - I just don't understand why it's something that isn't talked about more. Does it get easier?

Sorry for my rant/mad thoughts

Xx

I'm sorry to hear your experiences, I had a miscarriage in September last year. I like you lost all symptoms and just knew something was up so paid for an early scan. Was told there was a slow heartbeat and to expect the worse.

My bleeding started when we were on holiday, about 5 days after the scan, and I miscarried fully the day we got home. My pain was so bad I ended up in A&E. A week or so after I still had a positive test and ended up needing surgery to remove the remaining tissue.

@McOwen do not feel bad for not wanting to see your friends and their children at this time. It's such a traumatic and devastating thing to go through and it takes a while to feel okay about things. At least it did for me. When it happened to me, two of my friends were pregnant and I just found it so hard to be happy for them - as much as I was at the same time.

It does get easier, although for me it's never fully gone away. I'm over a year down the line and still trying, that's probably not what you need to hear right now but I found hearing other people experiences did help me. All the best to you, look after yourself over the next few weeks and don't feel bad about taking some time for yourself.