Late miscarriage due to Slapped Cheek

[Anunabs1986]

I am so broken hearted.

Our baby was diagnosed with a high nuchal of 5.2mm at 13+6 and we booked a CVS for the following week.

By the time we turned up for the CVS the ultrasound showed no Fetal heartbeat and the consultant said our baby had died. I was 14+6. We were told this was likely due to a chromosomal abnormality and ‘for the best.’

I gave birth to our beautiful boy 2 days ago after a quick and traumatic labour with no pain relief until the last few contractions as they didn’t realise it would be as quick as it was and the doctor kept telling me my labour wouldn’t advance that fast so it was likely I was just feeling period pains. I almost killed him.

Our moment ended up beautifully, with just my husband and I in the room and we got to hold our little boy for a short time before I went to Theatre to have the rest of the placenta removed under general anaesthetic.

Today, having been home less than 24 hours, I received a call from the hospital saying they had detected Fifth Disease/Slapped Cheek Syndrome in my blood and believe this, and not abnormal chromosomes, to be what caused our baby to develop Fetal hydrops and eventually fill up with fluid that caused his heart to fail. I’m devastated. My husband and I have been consoling ourselves with the fact that our baby was so ill from the start that his life would have been so full of pain and nature was merciful. Now, I feel like my perfect baby has been meaninglessly stolen by such a common infection/virus that when my toddler had flushed cheeks and a sore throat a couple of weeks ago and my husband and I felt rough for a few days, we all thought nothing of it. Nothing. And it ended up taking our beautiful boy from us.

I have taken this week off work, no choice with having to go through labour etc, and am expected back next week, but I just don’t know how I’m going to do it?!

Does anyone have experience of late miscarriage and how long did you take off work? I work in a primary school so I’m going to be surrounded by children and staff, most of whom knew I was pregnant as I was so ill at work it eventually came out around 12 weeks. There will be so many questions and sorrys and hugs and I just don’t know how I’m supposed to even walk through the door never mind take classes of 30 lovely and inquisitive little faces at a time.

Any advice would be hugely appreciated.
And hopefully this post can raise awareness on such a common illness that I had NEVER heard of that obviously can have such devastating effects on early pregnancy.

I wish women were screened for immunity to Slapped Cheek the moment they register as pregnant with their hospital/GP. If I’d have known the risks and that I wasn’t immune I’d have been so very much more careful and vigilant.

Love to all you Mammas out there. And your precious little ones. It’s a miracle any of us are here... and I will celebrate my tiny miracle for every second he was with us.

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy.
I had an early miscarriage and went back to work in a primary school after a week.
My first day back I was in tears by 10.30am. I ended up taking 3 weeks in total.
You have been through a unimaginable pain physically and mentally so I would think you may need a bit longer.
You could also possibly ask for a fazed retun to work.
And thank you for sharing your story about slapped cheek immunity. I didn't realise how serious that was during pregnacy.
My love and thoughts are with you and your family at this time

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing - I wasn't aware of this at all.

I am so sorry for your loss. 10 years ago (so my memory of events is a little fuzzy) my dd's beloved kindergarten teacher had a miscarriage at around 15/16 weeks. She was very thin so it was very obvious that she was pregnant early on and all the children in her class knew. I can't quite remember how we were told (I think an email to the parents from the Room Parent), but the parents were told in advance of the teacher coming back to work, so that we could all tell our children in an individual and age appropriate way. I think that I told my dd pretty directly. She was sad, but was able to process it remarkably well. (I was quite worried as she was very attached to the teacher and to the idea of her having a baby). I think she did a card and/or some artwork for the teacher and we picked out a gift basket of comfort food online to send to the teacher...all of which were helpful to my dd. Unfortunately, I don't know how helpful it was to the teacher, but I know that like you, she was very worried about how her students would cope with the news, so I'm sure it was comforting to her to know that they were coping well.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you, everyone. Sofia, that’s a lovely idea... I’m sure that was of great comfort to her. I think you’re right, Stressed, I’m going to be a weeping mess if I try to go in this week. Especially now that this news of Slapped Cheek is so fresh and raw. Xx

Sorry for you loss.
I think it would be totally reasonable to take some more time off work. Everyone is different, but surely you need some time to recover both physically and psychologically.

I'm so so sorry for you loss OP. I can't give any advice on a late mc as mine was at 12 weeks but just wanted to send you hugs. You need to take all the time you feel you need to heal physically and emotionally. I had 3 weeks off after my mc and 1 week before the physical mc as found out baby had died a week before I passed them. I hope you have all the support you and your DH need around you. When you feel up to it maybe consider some counselling, I find it helps to talk about how you feel in a safe space x

Thank you so much, and I’m so sorry for your loss too, Dreamland. My Headteacher has said providing I get a sick note from the doctor so she can pay me she is happy for me to take as much time as I need to heal, so that’s wonderful of her. She is also going to inform staff and students of my loss so they can process it and hopefully be prepared for my return in a couple of weeks time.
Sometimes I feel absolutely fine, but then I go to do something completely normal like arrange to meet a friend, or just be alone for an evening and I find myself melting down. It’s very strange.
Definitely going to seek counselling. I think just knowing I have a regular space to speak out loud about this...particular later on when everyone will be expecting me to move on... will prove invaluable.
Xx

Thanks. Having someone to speak to is definitely important. You will have days when you feel like you can at least function and do routine stuff and other days will be bad. Over time it gets easier to cope with but it is hard. It's exactly 12 weeks today since I lost my baby and I'm feeling so rotten at the moment - like the universe is just working against me. I wish none of us have to experience this, it's the worst thing for a mother to lose their baby/child no matter what the stage or age. It's heartbreaking. Remember all the lovely ladies on here are so supportive so come here and let off some emotion if you need to. I did it a lot and only probably the last couple of weeks have posted less on the mc section, not because I have moved on but because I need to try and focus on TTC again so moved to a TTC after pregnancy loss thread. Hopefully each day you will do a small thing that feels like huge progress in your healing from this x

Ah, thank you, yes, I hope so too. I’ll be honest, I feel similarly to you today...very dark inside and the sadness feels like it’s going to swallow me at times. I’m so afraid of not being the person my husband and daughter need me to be, but I have to remind myself that what we’ve been through is big, and I need to take my time and not feel guilty about grieving.
That’s wonderful news that you are TTC!
My husband was so angry after baby died that he said he never wanted to do this ever again, but last night he said he feels differently now and wants to TTC when we can. We weren’t trying before...and this baby was a surprise. It took us a while to wrap our heads around the fact he was in his way, and now to wrap them round the fact that he isn’t. :,( You’re right... it’s the worst thing I could imagine ever going through.
Thank you for being so kind, and yes, I will definitely continue to post and follow threads here. It’s so comforting to know there are so many mums out there supporting each other xx

Anunabs1986. I too had not heard of this and I think you have been really truly amazing to post this - a warning to others. I am so very sorry for you and your husband.

I am sorry you lost your baby. Please don’t think it was because of anything you did. Slapped cheek cannot be avoided because many people display zero symptoms. Once someone has a rash they are no longer contagious and many people who are infected with it never get a rash or realise that they had it. It’s frustrating, and upsetting, but there is literally nothing to be done, even if you know you are not immune - because you cannot avoid it, and often do not even know even if you are infected with it.

Regarding your other question, for my first late miscarriage which was at 17-18 weeks I took two weeks off work. It was a very long and drawn out process which took 5-6 days to complete and I stayed at home for that, and then remained off for a further week as I had a very physical job.

For my second late miscarriage, a little later at 18.6 weeks, I went straight from work to a hospital for help when it began. I returned to work two days after that. Slightly less physical job but in healthcare working with babies. I actually took a few days off later when the post mortem results came in - I had to wait three months for these, so I am impressed you have information about your little one so quickly.

Neither of those two choices re time off was wrong. Just what I chose then. I hope you are able to choose what is right for you.