I'm having a miscarriage :(

[WannabeMumm]

So I'm currently having a miscarriage and the bleeding and pain is unbearable. How long will this last? I was about 5-6weeks.

I'm so upset about it and annoyed with myself... I drank quite heavily before I knew I was pregnant

hello first off let me say im very sorry for your loss hun my heart goes out to any woman who goes through this i had a miscarriage 2 weeks and 3 days ago i was 8 weeks 4 days but mine was medically managed with tablets
i bled heavy for the first day and night but then after it had all passed the bleeding slowed down i am still bleeding now on and off the advice to me was from the nurse that if i was filling a large maxi pad every half hour to go to hospital also if i had a temperature as well so keep an eye out for that, the pain is terrible hun well at least for me it was
try and breath through it it will hopefully be over soon for you. after everything passed the pain just stopped for me
you can take painkillers as well
but if you are in a lot of pain please go to hospital or at least ring your local early pregnancy unit i hope your ok and that you have someone with you godbless sweet xx

Thanks so much for the message and sorry you have been through this too. I hope you are getting better.

I saw the doctor yesterday and have stayed home today basically changing pads, crying and sleeping. That's good to hear that the pain stopped for you once everything passed. I'm waiting for that to happen.

My husband is away for a couple of days. I feel very lonely and pathetic.
xx

I can guarantee you the drinking had nothing to do with it. As awful as it sounds a miscarriage that happens at this stage likely means that your body took the decision to terminate because something was very wrong with the foetus and it wouldn't have survived if you had carried to term. I'm sorry to be so clinical, please know that I have also had a miscarriage and I know despite what I'm saying about the foetus not being viable I understand that they were your baby and that it's heartwrenching regardless. I just don't want you to blame yourself, you have done nothing wrong.

Please don't blame yourself. Take care of yourself. Rest and sleep. Tears are fine. All the things you're doing - you sound like you know how to be good to yourself. When is your husband back? Have you been able to tell him?
So sorry.

That's reassuring to hear @Coconut. I was devastated when the bleeding started and then thought back to all the drinks I'd had in the early days of the pregnancy.

All I want is to have a baby and now I feel like a failure.

Try to take some time and be kind to yourself. Its an extremely hard thing to go through physically and mentally. I went on to have a successful pregnancy who is now a very cheeky 5 year old after I lost Jack (I found it helped me to name my baby hut you may be different). If you have fallen pregnant once its likely that you will one day be successful again. Miscarriages are so very common, I would say most women have had one but nobody talks about it. Again I'm not saying this to diminish what your feeling but to reassure you that you are not alone in this and that the vast majority of women who have lost a baby will still go on to have further successful pregnancies. Try not to think about it all too much now, just look after yourself, take the time to grieve your loss but don't lose hope. Xx

Have you got anyone in your life you can talk to, other than your husband? Hate to think of you alone at home and in pain. Fingers crossed the bleeding doesn't last too much longer.

Aww, you guys are sweet. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

My husband is away until Friday. It's my best friend's wedding on Saturday so can't talk to her about my problems right now. I'm her bridesmaid so I really hope I feel better and able to support her on Saturday. At the moment I'm really worried about bleeding onto my bridesmaid dress.

i'm so sorry you are going through this alone, but please don't feel as though you are alone all these women and thousands like them and us know what you are going through and your not alone you can get through this stay strong lovely as i know you are being it will be over soon i know it sounds silly but i got some advice from a friend she said to download an app such as solitaire or something similar and when your feeling the pain just play the mind boggling app and push through or maybe a tv show just anything to stop you constantly thinking and waiting for it happen easier said than done i know but maybe a bit of distraction even if for a few moments
loads of hugs and prayers for you hun xxxxx

So sorry this is happening. Don't blame yourself - your body is just doing what our bodies do, removing something which wasn't meant to be. Take care of yourself and it'll all be over soon.

I've been playing a game on my phone all day @kungfu. Thanks for the recommendation.

I'm never off work and I feel so guilty and worried about how much work will have built up by the time I go back

I don't think I'll be able to sleep much tonight

Sorry this is happening to you.

I miscarried at exactly 7 weeks. Once the embryo had passed, the pain really stopped quite quickly. I passed some very heavy clots a couple of days later, but then it was like a heavyish period for another 7 days. From first spotting to stopping bleeding was about 12 days in all, with pain really only on the day I miscarried and cramps the day after too.

I hope you feel better soon. This is not your fault, and definitely not because you had a few drinks. Alcohol doesn't pass the blood barrier until the placenta is working, which is around the 9th week of pregnancy I think.

Hope you are okay, or as okay as possible, OP. Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight, it's really miserable having to go through this on your own. This also happened to me (in the night, early Monday morning) and DP is away for work too this week. For me, it was emotionally a bit easier though, because I thought I'd missed a period due to stress and only did the test a few days earlier. So I hadn't really got my head round it properly before the miscarriage happened.

Sorry that you're having such a bad time with the pain, too. I found that ibuprofen helped and it has been a lot better today.

I also had a hard time sleeping last night, even though I felt exhausted. I put a movie on (one I've seen before) and just kind of drifted in and out of sleep. The movie helped, because it just meant that I had something else to focus on whenever I woke up. In the end I did get a decent few hours sleep.

Hugs, and be kind to yourself! [ flowers]

I'm so sorry you're going through this @WannabeMumm. It's horrible isn't it? I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. I found the pain and bleeding unbearable. I bled very heavily for the first week and continued to bleed for a further two weeks. It was very draining and as I was filling pads so quickly I found that sitting in the bath with the shower running provided a bit of light relief. I tried to sleep through it as much as possible and found painkillers and a hot water bottle seemed to also help a little. The miscarriage association have lots of information on their website and a number you can call if you need someone to talk to. If you start to feel unwell then go to A and E straight away. I was rushed in as I was filling a pad within about 10 mins and started to feel faint. I was told not to be alone at any point so if there's someone who can be with you then that would be a good idea. Drink lots of water.

What I would say is don't do too much too soon. I made this mistake and thought I was through the worst of the bleeding so I went for a gentle walk round the supermarket with my DH. I was wrong and almost collapsed. When I got home I was bleeding heavily again and in a lot of pain. It was then that I passed the sac. Once i had passed this I started to feel much better. Almost like an instant relief. Don't feel guilty or pressured to make the wedding, you need to look after yourself the best you can.

Again I'm so sorry, if you ever need to talk xx

Thanks for the replies. I had a terrible night last night. But am starting to feel a bit better now.

@Naughtykitty I followed your advice and Sat in the bath for a while and then took painkillers and lay in bed with a hot water bottle. Managed to fall asleep for a couple of hours only to be woken in lots of pain and leaking. I tried to go to the bathroom to sort myself out but felt really faint standing so lay down again on a towel until I felt ready to go downstairs. That's when the sac passed. This was probably about 3am.

I'm starting to feel better physically now, still a bit faint but way better than the last few days. The bleeding is like a really heavy period but my emotions are all over the place. I came back to work this afternoon but really wish I hadn't now.

I told my (male) boss what I'm going through but I'm not sure he totally gets it.

Take time to heal. I had 4 weeks off work as emotionally I was all over the place. Even then I was still very wobbly. Don't feel pressured by anyone, your mental health is just as important as your physical. The emotional pain hit me again a few weeks later and I ended up having a further 2 days off work to pull myself back together again. Allow your self time to grieve. It may be early to lose a baby but a loss is still a loss xx

Now a close friend has just announced she's 12 weeks pregnant. I'm finding it hard not to be a jealous bitch and be happy for her.

Are you in a position to tell her what you're going through? Naturally you'll feel upset by it, but in time you will be able to feel happy for her. Don't underestimate the chaos your hormones are in at the moment, it's a lot for the body to take on.

I am really sorry for you loss @WannabeMumm

I had an ERPC yesterday after my baby heartbeat stopped at 7w 5days having only seen the heartbeat 4 days earlier by scan at EPU, I was suffering with a hematoma.

The horrible feeling of knowing there is nothing you could have done to change the outcome is something I'm struggling with as well as walking out that hospital without ever having seen my baby, I feel empty.

Take your time my GP has signed me off for 4 weeks I have previously suffered with anxiety and depression and I'm going take my time to grieve and take it day by day.

I also found naming the baby helped I've called my Baby Hope, if you go on miscarriage Association website they have a service called stars of remembrance where you can name your baby and leave a message for free.
I feel he was a boy but no test can prove that, just a mother's instinct.

I hope today is a better day for you.

Sending lots of healing vibes to you xxx

@WannabeMumm how are you doing? Xx

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. Hope you were okay yesterday at your friends wedding. You're very strong to be able to go and stand up next to her on her special day …………………..from the day I found out my baby had died and mc'd at 12 weeks I didn't leave the house for a month apart from to go to the hospital and GP surgery. I cut myself off from everyone apart from my DH. You're amazing!

Everything you're feeling is totally natural, go easy on yourself though! Every day will get just a tiny bit easier as you learn to cope with your loss - you will never 'get over it' though. 12 weeks on and I still cry but not like I used to. Take all the time you need to heal physically and emotionally from this and be kind to yourself. I hope you have good support around you at this awful time

Hi I'm Julie we have had so many miscarriages are last one was at 20 weeks and it seems like we can't carry been to doctor they don't help just give you depression tablets and that's it I'm sure they don't understand what we are going through it makes me mad that they don't what to help us all they say is lose weight its so heartbreak x

Just thought I'd update you all. I'm doing so much better. Went to my friend's wedding and had a lovely day. Had a couple more days off work feeling really down but now I'm feeling a lot more positive. Hope everyone is OK and thank you so much for your support.

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