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Heartbroken after loosing my twins
11

BrownCurls97 · 30/09/2018 23:12

How can you love someone so much that you've never even met ?
I went through the most traumatic experience in my life, I lost my twins at almost 10 weeks pregnant.
My friends and family/ partners family where buying little gifts when we found out I was pregnant.
We went to the drs to confirm, they did another test which did, then they booked me in for a scan.
Few days later I started heavily bleeding and having severe cramping. I went into A&E and they confirmed I was having a miscarriage, and from the scan they confirmed it was twins.
I'm absolutely heart broken.
When the doctors removed them they asked if I wanted to take the remains home to mourn and I was so upset I just told them to keep it and left.
I feel disgusting that I left my babies alone in the hospital. I feel absolutely worthless and just terrible. I don't know what to do with myself, I've been off work for just over 2 weeks as I'm just finding it hard to cope.
Has anyone been through the same situation? How do you deal with the guilt and the pain ?

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moredoll · 30/09/2018 23:27

I have never had to deal with this, but I am so sorry for your loss.
Flowers Flowers

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HellaFresh · 01/10/2018 15:22

I had a singleton miscarriage 11 years ago and I caught the fetus and took it when I went to a and e.

I also left it there. I wouldn’t have known what to do with it.

Please don’t feel bad at all.

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Naughtykitty · 03/10/2018 07:03

So sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks with just one, not twins. I had a natural miscarriage and found it quite traumatic. The guilt is hard but you have to keep telling yourself it's not your fault. Look after yourself OP and allow time to feel upset or reflective xxx

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Naughtykitty · 03/10/2018 07:06

I also managed to catch the remains but at the time I didn't really know what it is and it ended up flushed down the loo. I too felt guilty for this but I honestly don't know what I would have done with it? It takes time, for me it took a long time and I never felt like I could truely move forward until I got past what would have been my due date. xx

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M4r1456 · 03/10/2018 21:39

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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M4r1456 · 03/10/2018 21:40

P.s sorry to reply on a different thread. I didn't know where to start :/

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M4r1456 · 03/10/2018 21:41

** it could be implantation bleeding

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FishesThatFly · 03/10/2018 21:57

M4r1456 please start your own thread. It considered very bad form to jump on someone elses especially one as sensitive as this

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BrownCurls97 · 04/10/2018 00:47

They had to remove it as it got stuck, they said I could take the remains home and do my own memorial but I was so upset I just left them there

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Jlynhope · 04/10/2018 00:58

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've only been pregnant once after a decade of infertility. I also lost the baby at 10 weeks. I buried them in our front garden under a lilac tree. For a long time I would look outside and get upset because they were out in the cold. It still bothers me three years later... I am truly sorry for your loss. It is a horrifically painful thing to go through.

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yorkshireyummymummy · 04/10/2018 01:17

I too lost a single baby at 10 weeks.
It’s hard. There’s a lot of us out there who have had early miscarriages and we all cope in our own way.
I coped by getting pregnant again as fast as I could.
And this time we didn’t tell anybody until we got to about 14/16 weeks.

I think that these early losses are often because there’s something wrong with the foetus. Your body knows that there are problems and it empty’s the womb in order to start the process again. Who knows?

Don’t let this take over your life though. It’s tragic and very sad but you need to start letting them go and concentrating on the future.
If there’s no medical reason why you can’t try again then get trying - you are very fertile right now.
As a PP said it’s easier once you get past what would have been the due date.

Get some mates round, few drinks , have a bloody good cry and then try to get back to work and ‘normal’. While you are in this limbo land and not going to work you will never start to heal.

I hope you have a successful pregnancy very soon.

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