The long road to get back to "normal" after a miscarriage

[Ladybug84]

They say writing how you're feeling can help. It's been weeks that it happened and people around me might expect everything to be back to normal. But I'm not there just yet.

Today marks the 7th week since I started spotting and the miscarriage was confirmed, nearly 6 weeks since it happened naturally, 2 weeks since I was put on antibiotics and 1 week since I got the ERPC done. Is the end near now? The spotting has nearly stopped, but since yesterday I'm having light cramps and feeling a bit sore (what does this mean?!) it's like going backwards. During one of the follow up scans they found a cyst in one of my ovaries, which will need to be monitored over the coming weeks. My trips to the EPU have not come to an end just yet.

The cramps are bringing the painful memories back and emotionally I'm... not as good as I thought. It's hard to think that by the end of this (if it ever comes...) I'd have been dealing with the MC longer than I was pregnant.

A dear friend, who had gone through this bad experience over a year ago, told me it took her months to emotionally recover, she told me about the good days and about the sudden sad days. Now I know what she felt like.

Loads of to everyone going through a MC. Let's hope there are more good days than sad days down the road...

🐞xx

Thinking about you, it is such a hard time, willing our bodies to get back to ‘normal’ whilst struggling with what we have lost. We are here for you, you are not alone. Take care of yourself. Sending. big hugs xxx

It took me months too. And I probably didn’t help matters by trying to rush back to a normal life. But you will get there in your own time.

It is truly truly crap. Mine was months ago and while I'm physically okay (I have had another mc a of month ago) emotionally I am not. I have days where everything is fine and then suddenly it will hit me. Something stupid like a baby sale in the shops. Or realising I'd be at such and such milestone now. Today I realised I'd have probably started preparing the nursery this week. I don't know when it will get better. I don't think there are any answers.

I know what you mean about people thinking you should be over it now. People at work seem to have forgotten I was ever pregnant. They will say things in front of me that seem so insensitive. A colleague mentioned the other day about how no one else could get pregnant now as we have no staff. She knows I should be pregnant.

I hope the physical side of things is in sight for you, I did have a few little cramps after and put it down to ovulating as I did an OPK at the time and it was positive. I have started trying again straight away and found that helps. People keep saying to me oh why don't you have a break etc to recover but for me trying again is what gets me through. Yes I've had two mc but I can't let that stop me.

Sorry for babbling, so many emotions. If you ever want to talk I'm here :-) xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss and for everyone else's on here. It takes a long time to learn to cope with the loss, you will never 'get over it' and as someone else said to me, this is your 'new normal'. It's a grief that I've learnt I will carry around with me forever but it is hard to cope with. My mc was 12 weeks ago, I'm supposed to be 24 weeks pregnant but instead I am still mourning my lost baby. I still cry and still avoid social situations and feel so low. Sending everyone having to go through this love and strength and lots of hugs x