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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Does it ever get better?

1 reply

lettyspaghetti · 24/09/2018 17:13

30 years ago I spent a glorious week with the boy of my dreams and then went off to live away. We made no promises to keep in touch but tacitally understood we would meet up when I returned home a few months later. While away I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't tell him, it was a different time, no mobiles, no FB, etc and phone access was limited where I was travelling. I figured I would tell him when I got home. It never got that far because the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I didn't go home, I travelled to run away from it all. On reflection this was probably not the best course of action. I told nobody at home and to this day no one knows but me. It's coming up to the anniversary of that time and it always makes me sad. Years later I still cry about it. Should I have told him, should I tell him now to share the burden of it? We still talk now and then and I know I hurt him by ignoring him then. We're both happily in relationships and have kids now but I still feel the pain of the loss of my first child. Will it always be like this?

OP posts:
InDreamland · 24/09/2018 21:55

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know many women who had mc's (some multiple) many many years ago, some over 40 years ago, even my grandmother before she passed away spoke of her lost baby over 60 years ago. From what I understand from all these women, you never forget and will always wonder what they would be like now, how they'd look, what their personality would be like. Could you speak to anyone? Maybe if you don't want to talk to family or friends then ask your GP for referral to counselling just so you have someone to talk to about it. Take care of yourself Flowers

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