30 years ago I spent a glorious week with the boy of my dreams and then went off to live away. We made no promises to keep in touch but tacitally understood we would meet up when I returned home a few months later. While away I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't tell him, it was a different time, no mobiles, no FB, etc and phone access was limited where I was travelling. I figured I would tell him when I got home. It never got that far because the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I didn't go home, I travelled to run away from it all. On reflection this was probably not the best course of action. I told nobody at home and to this day no one knows but me. It's coming up to the anniversary of that time and it always makes me sad. Years later I still cry about it. Should I have told him, should I tell him now to share the burden of it? We still talk now and then and I know I hurt him by ignoring him then. We're both happily in relationships and have kids now but I still feel the pain of the loss of my first child. Will it always be like this?