I've had two miscarriages in a row. The first was a missed miscarriage and I can't lie, at 19 and in my first year at uni I was a little bit relieved. The second was a lot tougher. It was at around 10 weeks and I can't stop thinking that I might never be able to have children or carry a pregnancy to full term.
I spent months blaming a friend/ex-friend for it. She has depression/bpd/diagnosis changes weekly but I'd accidentally startled her by closing a cupboard too loudly and she shoved me into a wall and punched me. I bled a little afterwards, but I lost the baby a couple of weeks after so I feel like me being so angry with her was a bit unjustified.
I also took the morning after pill the morning (about 4 hrs later) after I had sex with my ex-boyfriend and the condom ripped He was angry when I wouldn't get an abortion, but he said the MAP causes birth defects/miscarriages so he knew I'd lose the baby eventually.
I was really stressed at throughout my pregnancy. I was extremely depressed, spent almost every day crying pretty much, in an abusive relationship, getting severely bullied by a group of girls at university etc so I'm wondering if the stress could have caused it.
And lastly, I have ehlers danlos syndrome. I know one other person in real life with the same type that I have and she's had 17 miscarriages that she knows of so far. This is a small part of the reason I refused the abortion. I've always wanted children eventually and since I knew I'd already had a miscarriage I didn't want to destroy that chance, just in case it was going to be a repeated pattern.
What do you think could have caused it? I'm just struggling to make sense of everything, I'm 80% it's probably the EDS and I need to stop being so upset with my friend but most of the nurses at the hospital had never heard of it, the doctor thought it didn't exist even though I've a diagnosis and my doctor for EDS says that it's improbable that the type I have could cause any problems with pregnancy.