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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

What could have caused my miscarriage?

2 replies

BriKelly10 · 20/09/2018 14:35

I've had two miscarriages in a row. The first was a missed miscarriage and I can't lie, at 19 and in my first year at uni I was a little bit relieved. The second was a lot tougher. It was at around 10 weeks and I can't stop thinking that I might never be able to have children or carry a pregnancy to full term.

I spent months blaming a friend/ex-friend for it. She has depression/bpd/diagnosis changes weekly but I'd accidentally startled her by closing a cupboard too loudly and she shoved me into a wall and punched me. I bled a little afterwards, but I lost the baby a couple of weeks after so I feel like me being so angry with her was a bit unjustified.

I also took the morning after pill the morning (about 4 hrs later) after I had sex with my ex-boyfriend and the condom ripped He was angry when I wouldn't get an abortion, but he said the MAP causes birth defects/miscarriages so he knew I'd lose the baby eventually.

I was really stressed at throughout my pregnancy. I was extremely depressed, spent almost every day crying pretty much, in an abusive relationship, getting severely bullied by a group of girls at university etc so I'm wondering if the stress could have caused it.

And lastly, I have ehlers danlos syndrome. I know one other person in real life with the same type that I have and she's had 17 miscarriages that she knows of so far. This is a small part of the reason I refused the abortion. I've always wanted children eventually and since I knew I'd already had a miscarriage I didn't want to destroy that chance, just in case it was going to be a repeated pattern.

What do you think could have caused it? I'm just struggling to make sense of everything, I'm 80% it's probably the EDS and I need to stop being so upset with my friend but most of the nurses at the hospital had never heard of it, the doctor thought it didn't exist even though I've a diagnosis and my doctor for EDS says that it's improbable that the type I have could cause any problems with pregnancy.

OP posts:
K0013 · 20/09/2018 20:11

I’m afraid I can’t answer any of your questions I’m sorry but I didn’t want to read your message and not reply. I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your loss xx

NicolaG12 · 22/09/2018 17:54

I’m so sorry, it sounds like you are going through a lot. I’m afraid I don’t have the answers either.

I just wanted to say I know how you feel about wondering what caused this to happen. I had a stressful time before I miscarried last week as I had a mole removed from my foot when I found out I was pregnant, thankfully it wasn’t cancerous but I was upset throughout the pregnancy about where I might find myself. The doctors have told me though that the miscarriage wasn’t anything to do with the stress and upset I had while I was pregnant any was just one of those things that happen far to frequently to many women. I know that doesn’t make it easier.

I hope you are getting some support from those closest to you. It sounds like it’s been tough with the girls at university, I hope they are now being kind to you. Xx

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