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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Struggling :-(

6 replies

Pitterpatter01 · 18/09/2018 10:43

Bit of background first, I had an early miscarriage on 4th August and not had a period since then which is making me feel rubbish. I’m generally feeling crap about the whole thing. I had a negative test pretty much straight after miscarriage. We starting trying again, and it’s now over 6 weeks since the miscarriage and no period. Took a pregnancy test and it’s negative.

Anyway, I have just been to see a Dr to find out if they can make sure I’m definitely not pregnant, and then see if there’s anything they can give me to kick start my cycle because it’s really getting to me now and I’m struggling to cope with it. I’m 36 so I know that time isn’t on my side which concerns me. I’ve also been called for cervical screening so wanted to find out when I can have this done.

I saw a trainee Dr at first, she was lovely but had to seek advice from another Dr. The other Dr came in, and was so harsh and insensitive and made me cry.

The Dr questioned whether I was really pregnant in the first place, then said if I was it would have been a blessing in disguise that I miscarried as there would have been something very wrong with it. She said I need to focus on the fact that I already have a little boy and should be thankful for that, and the fact that I allegedly got pregnant before means I’m fertile. She said that I shouldn’t sit there all day crying and eating and getting fatter!! I pointed out that I don’t sit there and cry and eat all day and just because I’m overweight doesn’t mean I’m lazy (I run my own very busy business!). I’m a size 14/16 so not exactly massive, and currently losing weight anyway. I never said I’m crying all the time, I cried because she was being out of order.

She was so insensitive. Just said I have to wait for my period, but do a pregnancy test each week. She has made me feel so upset and 10 ten times worse than what I did when I went in.

No point to this post other than I needed a rant. Feel so shitty now and even more down about the situation 😢

OP posts:
radderss · 18/09/2018 20:57

This is awful OP. I would be complaining about that doctor.... you do not need things like that. My EPU were really good ... could you not ring them and ask for advice. I find Doctors aren't specialised in that area so maybe are more insensitive although they shouldn't be.

I know it can take a while for the cycles to come back to normal and that's such a stressful time. Just hang in there your body will do what it needs to do eventually but in the mean time if it is causing you stress please speak to someone. Don't let that doctor get you down. I'm in shock to be honest. I would've said something to the doctor there and then ... idiot x

Pitterpatter01 · 18/09/2018 21:33

@radderss she also said that I should get on with my life and forget about it all. I was shocked, the trainee Dr even apologised after. I’m going to phone them tomorrow and ask for their complaints procedure. She shouldn’t get away with speaking to someone like that
I haven’t seen anyone from EPU at all, can I still contact them? Thank you x

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NicolaG12 · 18/09/2018 21:53

I’m so sorry for your loss. The doctor sounds horrible and you are right to complain. I had a miscarriage on Thursday night. I’m heart broken. I had to call the doctor this morning to get signed off work as I can barley get showered at the moment never mind go to work every day! The doc phoned me back and said “what’s wrong with you?” Despite me telling the receptionist in tears what happened a few days ago. I know they aren’t all like that (many of them are brilliant) but sometimes they can be insensitive.

You can contact your EPU, I saw mine from the start as had pains to begin with. They told me that they were there to ask any questions I had about my miscarriage so I would get in touch with them. Mine have been really understanding.

Pitterpatter01 · 18/09/2018 22:33

@NicolaG12 so sorry that you are going through this too! It’s such a heartbreaking and lonely time! Think I will see if I can get in contact with EPU x

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Lumpy76 · 19/09/2018 07:33

So very sorry for your loss and the disgusting treatment you received from your doctor. I’ve just had treatment for a mmc (my second mmc & 3rd mc) I have other children and the mc’s were not in row. Anyhow, you are still grieving...I’m grieving! Yes I’m blessed to have my other children but that in no way takes away from my loss now. Yesterday I was very upbeat - everything had gone to plan and as well as had been hoped - today I’m low - very low. I’m 42 and really don’t have much hope of a successful pregnancy even if I get pregnant again. That’s difficult to deal with and compounds the sense of loss. I know from before that time will help heal but right now I’m feeling shit. Xxx

Pitterpatter01 · 19/09/2018 08:55

@Lumpy76 so sorry to hear that you are going through it, I can’t imagine having to go through it more than once. It’s such a difficult thing to come to terms with. Sending hugs to you xx

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