Coping

[Thatgirl123]

Hiya. So I’m in hospital and I lost my baby just under a year ago I get a phone call from my ex who was the baby’s father telling me he needed to tell me something. He told me that he has got another girl pregnant who he isn’t even with yet. Why am I so upset? All I can think about is why has he got a second chance? Me and my baby will be forgotten about now and I feel awful for my baby. I’m covered in guilt and I don’t even know what to do

@Thatgirl123 I'm so sorry for your loss. You didn't say why you're in hospital but hope you recover soon. No matter how long ago your loss was you'll never forget - I've heard women who lost babies 40 years ago and still talk about them like a recent loss. It's natural for you to feel like this. Allow yourself time to process the news and learn to cope all over again

Oh you are in such a heartbreaking situation, I've just recently lost my first pregnancy and know I'll carry this loss forever. My DH's mother said she had three MCs in the 70s and you could tell she still carried the grief. It's the pain of being a mother to a child who never came - you loved and still love that baby and you are right to miss it and mourn it. Your baby isn't replaced, not by his baby or any baby you might have in the future. I'm just starting that guilt journey however illogical it is. You (and I) did nothing (NOTHING) wrong, your baby was just too special for this world.

Its easy advice to give but do your best to distract yourself - set yourself challenges each week or join a club. You will find your happiness again and let yourself be ok that you'll never forget your beloved baby but its ok to move on and find a new peace. I hope whatever you are in hospital for is ok and you have all the right support networks.

It’s been just under a year since I lost the baby it gets easier but it’s really hard I never imaged for something like this to happen especially for him to have a baby on the way with someone else now. It just hurts because I have him saying things to me that mess with my head and it’s not healthy. Thank you so much I’m really sorry for your loss and if you need anyone to talk to I’m here. I’m out of hospital now x