After 2 miscarriages?

[jadeywadeyyox]

Hi girlies! ☺
This is my first post here.
I'm 24, and I already have a beautiful lil 5 year old boy.
In Aug 2016 I lost a baby at 6 weeks.
Then I recently (April) lost a baby at 10 weeks, but it was a missed miscarriage, and unfortunately my boyfriend and my son went to our 12 week scan to be told there was no heartbeat.
I wasn't given any info (except that my body could take weeks to respond, because I was still having pregnancy symptoms) on dealing with a 12 week loss and ended up in LABOUR in a car at night on a back road in Lincolnshire visiting my boyfriends relatives and had to basically give birth in the front seat of a packed car with a worried husky in my ear and my boyfriend trying to stay calm and drive us to his mother's to put me in a bath tub. It was um.. Traumatic?
I then bled for 5 weeks before being sent in for surgery to remove the remainder of the baby 😔

So TODAAAYYY I took a pregnancy test, 3 days before my af was due and got a faint positive. I then went to all my local shops to find a clear blue but no where stocked them 😂 so off to town I went and yep, I'm pregnant again... And terrified.
(I'm sorry this is so long omg)

Does anyone have any advice or stories about being 3rd time lucky?
How likely am I to lose another baby? Because I haven't even gotten over the last loss ☹️
How can I stop being to panicked? Because there's no way that's good for little one?
And I don't think my boyfriend is happy, because he (last minute right before my futile week) told me he wanted to stop trying because he wasn't ready anymore, so what do I do about that? Can I help him in anyway?

And again, so sorry this is like a biography! 💕

Hi jadeywadeyyox, reading your story was heart -breaking, no mc is easy and everyone's experience is so vastly different. I can't, I'm afraid, offer you stories post 2 mcs but I didn't want to read and run and am similarly interested in reading about some 3rd-time-lucky stories - after 2 weeks of scans and blood tests, I'm having surgical management for my 2nd mc tomorrow.
Your boyfriend sounds like a trooper, having helped you through the experience last time I'm sure he would be there for you again. As ever, the waiting whilst ttc adds trauma and doubt doesn't it? Now that you have a positive test he might feel very differently, definitely talk to him. Check out the statistics on the miscarriage association website if you want to know more about how cautious your optimism should be. Good luck!

Hi!

I'm sorry for your losses
I can't answer your question yet, but am in a very similar situation.

In februari I had a mmc at 13 weeks. They told me to go to work because it could take forever for it to come naturally and I had a D&C planned (but I had to wait a week). Ofcourse I didn't make it to my D&C and went into 'labour' at work. I passed some tissue while standing next to a collegue, went to the toilet and the blood gushed out. The cleaning lady (who also had just miscarried) had to clean it, because I had to go to the EHBO. In retrospect I feel really sorry for her. At the EHBO they did not want to call an ambulance because that's bad for the companies numbers (more ambulances = more 'injuries'). So this special care force came (but it took them 30 minutes because they are for non urgent things). They refused to take me with them because I had already lost too much blood. They were afraid I'd die in their car because then it would be their responsibility. An ambulance was called. The paramedic in the ambulance with me told me his wife had also recently miscarried (I wouldn't like to do that job after having a mc). By the time I got at the clinic I was in shock (due to the blood loss) and hyperventilating (due to the panic). There was something stuck inside my uterus which caused heavy bleeding, they had to pull it out (which caused even more blood loss - a lot of blood was still stuck behind it). It was also rather traumatic.

In may we lost another pregnancy, which turned out to be a blighted ovum (or a very undeveloped foetus - something was visible).

We just found out we are pregnant again. I had my hcg tested and it's doubling, so I'm holding on to that. For the progesterone I am receiving supplements, because my doctor thinks that's what caused the second miscarriage.

So hoping we both can hold our babies in our arms in 8 months.

Do you fear going into labour again? I think I might get flashbacks to my first miscarriage.

Oh my that sounds horrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
The only 'bonus' about my labor, was I suppose no one was around. But I did terrify my boyfriends mum when he had to carry me out of the car screaming in pain and covered in blood.
She definitely wasn't expecting that.

I can't believe your workplace were so awful about an ambulance, I hope you got your retribution!!!

I am really scared tbh.
I have my first midwife app on the 4th, they wanted to see me at 8 weeks but I forced them to see me at 6 weeks because, after the emergency d&c, the hospital told me that if I got pregnant again, I could have as many early scans as I wanted to keep me sane (within reason, or I'd be there everyday 😂) so I'll have the midwife book me for a scan asap.

I can't help but keep taking pregnancy tests.

But (tmi), I can't even go and pee without checking for blood.
Its definitely a constant fear I'm living with 😔

@jadeywadeyyox I'm sorry for your losses and for such a traumatic second loss.

I had two missed miscarriages after my first pregnancy. Both times the baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. The first time I waited and was lucky enough to miscarry completely at home. It was quick, frightening and very painful.
The second time I opted for surgery. I had it under local and it was over in less than 10 minutes. They were so kind and the gynaecologist said she'd scratch the lining of my womb a bit to help me get pregnant again quickly. I had one period, then got pregnant the cycle after. We now have a beautiful 15 month old boy.
It was a very straightforward pregnancy, but I was so paranoid something would go wrong. At the beginning I went to the toilet every 5 minutes to check for bleeding, but it was all ok. The hardest thing was the 12 week scan because that was the point that we'd found out we'd lost the baby twice before.

If you've had two early losses, it's likely you've just been unlucky and the chance of it happening a third time in a row is slim. Hang in there. Xx

@jadeywadeyyox

Waiting until 8 weeks is a long wait in fear. I'm glad you managed to get an apointment at 6 weeks. My doctor (I switched doctors because I wanted a nice one this time) suggested herself to check at 6 weeks to ease my mind. (Next tuesday, so counting down the days)

I totally get it, that you keep taking pregnancy test. I took 10 before knowing the results of my blood tests, just to see if it increased in intensity (even though you shouldn't use them that way). At one point the line was very faded, but it's probably my own fault for testing in the evening (the morning after the next test was dark again).

I hear many women that check for blood when going to the toilet. I don't really fear that, but maybe because in my past mc I didn't find out due to the blood (I already knew before that).

So I forgot to react on your question about your boyfriend, but did your boyfriend come around? If it's any help, my husband didn't want to attach himself at first either. After they told us my blood values were increasing well, he came around though. I'm sure your boyfriend just needs some time. (He is probably emotionally protection himself like my husband was.)

Oh and if it puts your mind at ease: we still have 70% chance of having a healthy pregnancy this time around (www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/pregnancy-after-miscarriage/art-20044134). It's not a 99% guarantee, but at least there's a reasonable chance. I try to hold on to it.

So sorry for your loss, I can't answer your question for you but I can tell you I've had 2 mc in between 3 beautiful babies, it's heart breaking but stay hopeful.