Terrified after missed miscarriage

[LauraHN95]

I've recently had a missed miscarriage. This is my first pregnancy. We found out at our 12 week scan that there was no heart beat and baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks... the day After we spoke to the midwife and we decided I would have a D&C but they were unable to get a date for another 7 days so I had to wait. That night when I was home light bleeding started with a few light cramps, I was fine as I'm use to painful period pains anyway. The following night I woke up screaming in agony for about 2 hours I was crying in pain and then suddenly got a surge in my stomach where I ran to the toilet and just everything came out. I was "gushing" blood every couple of minutes for an hour. I was never given any information that really prepared me for this so I wasn't sure if it was normal. But soon after I started vomiting and eventually collapsed then an ambulance was called. I was taken to hospital, I had internal examinations and multiple samples taken of my clots, I also had a lot of blood taken and given fluids. By that afternoon I was discharged but again that night the exact same happened I collapsed after a lot of blood lost. I was rushed to hospital and the exact same tests were done and I was told my blood count was dangerously low and I was anaemic so I would need a blood transfusion. Over the night and the following morning I was given the bloods and then after I had an ultra sound which showed there was a small amount of tissues left. They said D&C was still an option but because the tissue was so minimal they'd prefer to try the medication before surgery because of the risks of surgery. I spent another 24 hours in hospital after taking the medication. I am now home hoping nature takes its course and I will get another scan next week to make sure everything is gone otherwise it will be surgery.

I knew miscarriage was a thing but I never knew what to expect but I definitely didn't expect this. It's been so emotionally draining but the physical aspect has terrified me so much. I'm 23 years old and I want nothing more than to start a family but as rare as the Doctors say that this scenario will happen again I'm absolutely terrified to try again once I'm ready. I don't think I could handle going through all this again, even my partner is petrified after seeing how I was throughout this.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Sorry to hear about your loss and such a traumatic experience. My first miscarriage was kind of similar. Went to my 12 week scan thinking everything was fine. Even convinced myself I was getting a podge. At the scan there was no heartbeat. Had stopped at 9w 3d. I decided to go home and miscarry naturally. Worst decision I made! Took a week. Mentally I was fuked! All I could think was I’m walking round with my dead child inside me. Three days later I started spotting(brown) On the day I miscarried I still only had brown spotting with bad back pain. I was contacting and pacing for hours. My mom and sister who are also experts at miscarrying said theirs was nothing like this. Next thing i had a really bad urge to push. I looked down and seen this huge sack just coming out of me. Evening perfectly intact. After that I did gush blood. I pulled back some of the tissue on this huge ball and could see the embryotic sack. Clear with fluid inside. I then seen a little leg. :( worst thing I ever did opening it. Inside a beautiful little baby that fit in the palm of my hand. Little webbed finders and toes.

I then dreaded the next time I would be pregnant. And March of this year I did. I was assured by everybody that this time if would be different and the chances of this happening again would be low. But unfortunately 8th of May I misscarried. I was 12w 3 days and 2 days away from my 12 week scan so will never know how far along I was.

I hope you go on to have a successful pregnancy next time and hope you don’t overthink and stress about it like me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I had a mmc 5 years ago and bled lightly for 6 weeks with no real pain or heavy bleeding. Last week I found out that i’d had another mmc, scan at 13 weeks but baby had only got to 9. Was booked in for surgical management but had to wait over the weekend. All happened overnight on Saturday and it was the most horrific experience of my life. Luckily i’d done some googling so I knew what to expect, but it was still terrifying.
This is miscarriage number 3 for me, but I do have a beautiful dd and I really hope your next pregnancy goes smoothly. I do understand the fear of getting pregnant again and I’m right with you on that one.

Be kind to yourself x

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a really terrifying and traumatic experience. Mine was slightly different, found out at the EPU 3 days before what was supposed to be my 12 week scan that baby had died. Had to go back a week later for a second scan to confirm mc (just in case i had my dates wrong). 5 days later my heart stated racing and body temperature went up massively and I passed something but must have just been a large clot because the following day I went into what can only be described as labour. Back pain that went all round to the front abdominal area too. The pain was excruciating and I've never know pain like it. They were contractions and get like my insides were being ripped out and I also kept getting the urge to push. The whole ordeal lasted 4 hours and I passed out at the end. It's scary and I too am terrified that if I'm ever lucky enough to get pregannt again that I will have another mc and absolutely cannot go through that again.

I hope you do have another pregnancy and it will be a healthy 9 month one x

Thank you very much for your replies. It somewhat brings me comfort knowing others have been in a similar situation, although I wish no one ever had or will go through this! Before I miscarried, I knew it was a thing but I didn't realise how common it was and how many types there is. I pray it never happens to anyone.

I'm excited to start a family but I honestly don't think I could manage this experience again.

Hi OP,
I'm so sorry this has happened to you - nothing can prepare you for it. My MMC was similar (picked up at 12 week scan, mostly miscarried at home waiting for a D&C, wound up with surgery anyway because not everything had passed and I couldn't bear any more of it) and the pain was absolutely the worst I've ever felt.

A year afterwards I had my DD, and the c-section recovery was nothing compared to the miscarriage.

In January this year I had an ectopic in my Fallopian tube which ruptured at 6 weeks and needed emergency surgery. Again, pain was nothing in comparison.

I'm now 21 weeks pregnant again.

Sometimes it feels unreal how awful the MMC was. I can only validate for you, as I guess PP have, that yes, the pain can be mind bendingly awful. BUT it's very possible, and indeed likely, to go on to have successful pregnancies. If you've had a miscarriage before most areas will book you in for an early reassurance scan, too. That has helped me relax a little bit - three months is a long time to wait when you're terrified.

In the end I took my partner's prescription codeine at 4am during the MMC - I can't tell you how much reassurance that access to painkillers has given me since then. I still try to keep a box, just in case. It terrified me being trapped in the pain and having no escape from it - I found that reassuring, even if in practice it wouldn't necessarily make all that much difference.