Missed Miscarriage at 12 week scan

[KentUnicorn]

All through this pregnancy I just had a feeling that something wasn't right, I had hardly any symptoms but also no pain or bleeding. I went to my 12 week scan yesterday almost expecting all not to be well and I was right. Baby has passed away at 8.5 weeks.
I had the surgical management op today and just want to post on here to reassure anyone about to go through the same procedure that it was pain free and quick. The hospital took great care of me, which I am so thankful for.
I'm not sure how quickly the emotional side heals. I really hope to start TTC again fairly soon but quite dread the anxiety that will come along with that.
No sure what I want from this post, just felt like I needed to get some of this stuff in my head out. Sorry for rambling post!

So sorry for your loss, be kind to yourself. Take time to heal and rest. Im sadly in a similar position, ive been waiting for my body to naturally miscarry all week, im booked in for tablets tomorrow to help with it happening. Im about 10weeks based on my LMP but looks like it stopped growing around 5weeks. We are heartbroken but hoping as of tomorrow we can start to move on. Its not something you ever get over i dont think, i had a MC 6 years ago and i still grieve for that loss. But it does get easier. Take care xx

Sorry you're going through this as well, just know you're not alone.
I haven't had many symptoms of pregnancy, just thought I was lucky, but I started with brown discharge on Saturday and I've been preparing myself for the worst. I'm supposed to be around 11 weeks and got my GP to send me to EPU as I didn't feel it was normal. And I was right, I went today and they found an irregular and empty sac, no baby. This was my first pregnancy, I'm so disappointed and sad. Hope to move on quick and start TTC again. Glad I'm going for a 2 week holiday soon, I hope you find a good way to make you cope xx

Thanks for the replies. It does help to know I'm not alone. Sending love to you both too x

@KentUnicorn I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through your situation nearly a year ago. I'd had pregnancy symptoms, so the no heartbeat was a huge shock. I had the surgery 2 days later. Emotionally, it took me just over 2 months to feel like myself again.
We started to TTC as soon as I was able to, and we conceived more quickly than I had conceived the MMC pregnancy. I found TTC hard, and after we DTD for the first time, I couldn't stop crying. Anyway, I had my rainbow baby girl just over 3 weeks ago, but even with my precious girl, I've started to get a bit tearful about the approaching anniversary of my MMC. It never truly leaves you, but time does help.

Congratulation on your baby girl @Flatwhite32. I can imagine it never leaves you. I feel very apprehensive about TTC again but at the same time really want to because I'm anxious I won't fall pregnant again. Such mixed emotions.
I really did believe MMC was rare but the more you read I really don't think it is as rare as they say x

Oh KentUnicorn, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a MMC over a year ago, and was subsequently terrified of trying again, I did go on to have DC who was born on the anniversary of the surgical management of the MMC. So very bittersweet.

I have to say I spent my entire pregnancy with DC terrified something was wrong, and I couldn't bear the thought of going thro another loss, I was given extra scans as I was considered high risk and put on progesterone and junior aspirin as soon as I got pregnant with DD.

Take time to grieve and take care of yourself.

Sorry for your loss KentUnicorn.

I could have written your exact same post 8 years ago down to the anxiety about not falling pregnant again. I had my MMC in the September and my DS was born the following October, he's here now sat beside me

I would say that time is a healer, I wrote a post on here asking how I'd be able to move past it. But eventually, I was able to "move on" a little. Be very kind to yourself and go easy while you heal. On the practical side you've had a general anesthetic today which might make you feel groggy later on so bear that in mind. Thinking of you.

Thank you so much for kind and hopeful words.
At the moment it feels such a weight to carry forever but hopefully time will help.
Did any of you use counselling or the bereavement midwife? X

@KentUnicorn, I found out yesterday that our baby didn’t make it, I was 8.5 weeks. Just waiting now for nature to take its course. This was our third and probably final IVF attempt (we cannot conceive naturally). I wish you all the very best xxx

Oh @pegs11 I'm so sorry for your sad news. There are no words really. Thinking of you x

Thank you. At least we know we are not alone and there are others feeling the same pain! Love and hugs xx

Hi KentUnicorn. Just wanted to thank you for your post, we found out yesterday that our baby’s heart had stopped beating at 9 weeks so I’m going for the surgical procedure tomorrow (I’m at a funeral today so I couldn’t go sooner - what a week). I’m really dreading it so I’m glad to hear the experience wasn’t so bad. This was our first pregnancy and we had seen a heartbeat on an early scan at 6 weeks so we were naively optimistic that we would be welcoming our little one in March.

I’m so sorry for everyone’s losses. I could never have imagined how awful this would feel. I’m normally a very practical and unsentimental person and I always thought that I would be prepared to deal with an early miscarriage fairly well as we knew the risks. But all I feel is grief and guilt and so much anxiety about next time (and if there will ever be a ‘next time’). I feel we’ve lost our innocence in a way as we will never have that wonderful pregnancy excitement again, we will just be waiting for the worst to happen.

It’s so sad that so many of us have been through this but it’s such a comfort to be able to speak to you all. I don’t have many close friends with children and those that do have them had incredibly straightforward experiences (fell pregnant immediately and now have beautiful babies), so I don’t feel I have anyone who understands.

Sending lots of love xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss OP @KentUnicorn. I can relate to what you say, like you I came here and just needed to write everything down that was buzzing around in my head trying to make sense of it all. Unfortunately 4 weeks post mc I'm still struggling with all the emotions, still cry every day and cannot cope with seeing pregnant women and prams but I'm told it gets easier.

It's all still so raw so please know that everything you think and feel is normal and you have to allow yourself time to grieve because this is grief like no other grief. I hope you have support around you and when you're ready maybe look into counselling

@Palentine so sorry you are going through this too. I hope your surgery goes smoothly and your recovery is OK. I don't think anything can make the anxiety go away for the next time but I hope we can try and find enjoyment and hope when we next fall pregnant, as I'm sure we will.

@InDreamland thank you for your kind words, sharing with others who understand really is such a reassuring and helpful thing xx

@KentUnicorn I didn’t have any counselling no but that’s mainly because it wasn’t offered. If it’s offered to you and you feel it would help then give it a try.
Sorry to hear of everybody’s losses, it’s particularly tough to find out at a scan. Take care everybody, sending unmumsnetty hugs to you all.

I went for 12 week scan at end of July to find my baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks, it’s horrible isn’t it :( part of me desperately wants to try again immediately, other part is too scared to contemplate it! I wish there was a logical explanation so the anxiety could subside a bit, if it happens again I don’t know how I’d cope x