Recurrent miscarriage - because you aren't alone

[JuiceBox]

I'm posting this because I know.

I know what it's like to feel physical pain from grief and the mental torture you're going through.

Because I too haven't thought of anything else for more than a few seconds since this journey began. Because I know what it's like to feel like the world is carrying on without you whilst you're standing still.

Because I know what it's like to have days where you think you will never stop crying. The weeks where you can't eat or sleep or move from bed because you can't possibly be strong enough to bare this.

Because I know what it's like to worry the people around you are tired of 'it'. And I know how it feels trying to pretend for those you love because it isn't their fault, how could they possibly understand?

I know the overwhelming loneliness even when you're surrounded by people. The feeling that you're the only person in the world that this is happening to. The bitterness and jealousy and just plain anger that you are being punished in this way.

Because I know how it feels to be scared and terrified of the 'next time' and wondering how can I go through this again without breaking completely.

Because I know how it feels to block your friends on social media when they make the announcement. You should be happy for them but you aren't.

Because I know how it feels to wonder how on Earth you are just expected to carry on. Go to work, watch a film, go for a meal, live life like yours isn't turning upside down.

Because I know the panic and desperation and the loss of hope so strong it makes you sick.

I know. You aren't alone. I am here too.

@JuiceBox you are not alone either. I am currently pregnant (early) with my fourth pregnancy and I have no babies at home. We plod on, hoping that the outcome will be different. All the best to you.

@Miami81 I sincerely hope that this time it is different for you. I will keep you in my thoughts. We deserve some luck

If you need a bit of support there are a few of us over here. TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving upwww.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3145684-TTC-after-recurrent-miscarriage-thread-2-were-not-giving-up
You don't have to be ttc just yet, as loads of us are at different stages. Getting rmc tests, successfully pregnant (12 wk +), ttc'ing or waiting. Pop along if you feel you can.

Thank you for this post currently going through third miscarriage and as much as I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, it is good to know we are not alone xx

I hope this post brings some comfort. I promised myself I would post it if I ever got pregnant again and it progressed, as I derived such comfort myself from reading the stories of others on here.

I suffered three miscarriages in 4 years - two of them missed miscarriages (one found at 12 week scan, one at 10 week ‘reassurance’ scan). I had to have a D&C to manage the last one. Was getting positive tests for ages afterwards. And it is so draining and hard to remain hopeful. And so hard to watch everyone else sail through healthy pregnancy after healthy pregnancy. The pain, self doubt, guilt and confusion are huge and everyone has their two cents worth about why they think it is happening. My age, my lifestyle, the fact I was worrying about it happening, that I wasn’t with ‘the right person’ etc.

Anyway, then I failed to conceive after two years of trying since the last miscarriage. Then just suddenly fell pregnant - same partner, same lifestyle, a little older (36) and am now 37 weeks + 2 days pregant!

The reason for me posting is just to say I know how horrendous and depressing it is to feel completely out of control of your fertility and of the choice to start a family but try not to give up hope!! It can just happen ‘like that’ even after years of heartbreak

Best of luck to you all

Xxx