Blighted ovum?

[polarpercy]

So another early scan, showed growth of sac but it's empty and still growing. Based on dates and slow growth it was clear that this was a blighted ovum and wasn't going to be. The sonographer was lovely but I was then sent to wait for a Dr.

Dr comes in and asks me to move to another room with her, move to an identical room, but as I'm a blubbering mess it was something I could have done without. She started the meeting smiling with a 'so'. 'Obviously you know it isn't to be, shall we book you in for a week to see what's left?'

At this point I'm starting to get angry at how crass I found her. I said I would be on holiday in France and her comment was 'make sure you know where the nearest hospital is as you might need it with the bleeding'. I didn't know what to say and as I've got Aspergers amongst other things I was finding it really difficult. She then asked if I wanted to stay in with her or probably not. To which I replied 'definitely not'.

The 'consultation' ended and I left with no information about what to expect, options for management or what to do. I feel so empty and angry at the whole process. This isn't my first miscarriage and the first one was just as bad when the midwife said 'let's not put you in with the proper pregnant women eh.'

I don't know why I'm posting, I'm just tired, cross, hurt, upset I don't know. I'm not bleeding but have no idea when to expect it to start or what to expect. I should be 9 weeks.

@polarpercy I'm so sorry you're having to post this. Having just recently had a mc (first pregnancy and first mc) on Monday night after finding out the bad news on Tuesday last week I kinda know how you feel although I did have slightly kinder doctors .......but was also sent away with no info on what to expect so Monday night was just awful and scary beyond words.

Not too sure what to advise but maybe could you contact your GP or do you have another EPU locally that you could access and ask to be booked in for ERPC before you go to France? At least the hardest part of the physical side of the mc will have happened then so you can focus on healing emotionally.

I really hope you can get the support you need for this.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm sorry you're also going through this. It really sucks, and that's putting it mildly. GP is fab but I won't be able to get in between now and going unfortunately. We're in a part of the country that has seen huge cuts to hospital funding, we currently have a campaign to keep our closest hospital open. My nearest EPU (which is where I was seen) is an hour away!

Yep, it absolutely sucks ......trying not to swear on every post I make on MN but yes there are no words steong enough to describe how agonisingly painful a mc is physically and emotionally so if you don't havr the right support around you it's jist taken to a whole other level of dreadfulness (sorry don't even know if that's a real word).

It's terrible that you can't get the support you need before you go away. I'm tempted to suggest taking a train to London, few EPUs in this part of the country, thankfully I didn't have to venture into the city as my local EPU is good despite sending me away with no info on what to expect if mc came on naturally at home (I believe most EPUs don't prepare women for this).

If you cannot get booked in for anything now until after you get back from France I'd suggest making sure whoever you're on holiday with (presume you're going with someone) is prepared to support you. You say it's not your first mc, I don't know what your first experience was, whether it was natural at home or if medical/surgical management but I found reading the thread on here about dealing with the practicalities of mc useful. Make sure you wear a pad at all times in case it starts whilst you're out and about. Buy a stock of heavy duty pads, I sent DH out to buy maternity pads from Boots (cheap and on 3 for 2 offer) and have a pack of baby wipes (or moist toilet wipes) for cleaning yourself up afterwards. Ask your GP to prescribe you the strongest painkillers they can give as that was something I was not prepared for (DH wanted to call for an ambulance but I said no because the pain was so excruciating I couldn't bear the thought of being touched or moved). I found I got really hot, have a small fan to hand to keep you cool.

I’m so sorry that on top of the huge loss you got such a crass cow! I am actually waiting to do my 8 week scan as I didn’t IVF and wanted to be 100% sure but they think that the mc happened in week 5. No one is giving me a straight answer my doctor actually didn’t even look me in the eyes or actually say anything - not more than 7 words. Let’s wait and see. Oh thanks. And then referred me to another doc. So she could break the news I suppose. This is my second and I’m a mess inside. Outside. Same’ish... sensitive but you can’t see that. Inside I understand. It feels good to vent. Vent away. 🙏

Sorry forgot to mention also an empty sac full of nothing. Which is breaking my heart as I feel like a huge failure.