It’s a place where we really don’t want to find ourselves, but following my MMC that I found out about on Friday, posts such as this really helped me, so I wanted to be any help to someone if I can be.
It should have been my 12 week scan, we found out that our baby hadn’t made it passed 8 1/2 weeks. The sonographer got us a second opinion at the time and we were given time to process what we were told before being given our options.
Because nothing had happened naturally my options were medical management or surgical management. We were given a day to consider our options, given leaflets with information about both procedures to digest at home.
On Sunday we were back at the hospital, this time at the gynaecology ward to arrange our treatment. We were meant to be going away today and they did everything they could to help us make it, we had two appointments booked for each option so we had the best chance of making our trip.
We opted for medical, I am terrified of general anaesthetic so thought this was the better option for me.
I was back in the ward at 7:30 am the next day. I was administered the first lot of drugs, inserted rather than taken orally, and was given a suppository for pain relief. It took a while to feel anything, mild cramps and by 2pm I’d started to lightly bleed. I was given a second dose and I had a few blood squirts whilst laying down for an hour (you’re advised not to move for an hour to help the tablets stay in place for an hour) and the cramps really started. They were like strong period cramps for me, and using the toilet I felt like I was passing something.
Unfortunately, by 8pm I was told it hadn’t worked. What I passed must have been clots. I didn’t look, I was told to use a toilet pan and the nurses would collect them each time so I didn’t have to see something I didn’t want, but there was no tissue.
My only option was surgical. Whilst I felt at the time that I was being pushed towards general anaesthetic, I was given the local option. I feel like a lot had been said to put me off of the local option, but I really couldn’t face my fear of general anaesthetic at an already anxious and emotional time.
Unfortunately, we had to cancel our trip as given the nature of surgical treatment and the available slots, we wouldn’t have made it and wouldn’t really be advised to fly.
I was in today for my surgery. In at 10am and a slight delay due to a busy day on the ward, I’d had half a dose of the tablets I’d had previously for the medical treatment around 12pm as well as a suppository and a relaxant. I was advised to lay down until my surgery to give the tablets the best chance of working, but for at least an hour. Luckily they let me go for a pee before when they came to collect me.
Around 2pm I was taken to a treatment room. Both the nurses (I call them nurses, I’m sure they have more specific titles but we were introduced by first names so I’m not sure) were extremely chatty, upbeat and really helped me settle, we chatted throughout, I’m sure to take your mind off of what is happening but we ended up talking about pain funnily enough and had a giggle about some of the scrapes we’d been in. Obviously, I’m sure they gage the conversation on how you are mentally feeling, I’m not good at dealing with sympathy and sadness when it’s about me, so I try to be upbeat, incase the above seems a bit weird.
I can honestly say the procedure really wasn’t as painful as I had read. You’re kind of propped open, cleaned up and then have a numbing gel placed on your cervix. No pain at all. A small tube is placed inside your womb, as the earlier tablets are used to open the neck of your womb so this generally goes in quite easy. They then use a syringe to remove the pregnancy tissue, once again, not painful, you can hear the suction sometimes, but it’s not gruesome.
As the tissue is taken, it does feel a bit crampy, not comfortable but I’ve had worse period pains. It was done in around 15 minutes, but it honestly didn’t feel a long process. I was scanned before and after the procedure to make sure where the tissue was and if they had got it all at the end. All in all, I was out of our private room for half an hour, my husband was shocked when I walked back in calm and pain free.
I was given the gas and air to use, I used it once to see what it was like but I really didn’t need it. I didn’t want to see anything, any of the scans or tissue, but I was offered the chance, some people find this comforting, so if you do, your wishes are respected.
I was told to look away when there could have been a chance I could see something on the trolly but overall the staff I’ve dealt with have been understanding, sympathetic and absolutely amazing. Bar one, on the Monday night but I was exhausted and emotional so it was more me being in a bad mood.
I’m now home, I was let go around an hour and a half after the surgery, I took one cocodomal for some cramping but now I’m home they’ve gone completely. I’ve had minimal bleeding, although this can fluctuate over the next two weeks, but I’ve not filled a pad, barely touched it actually.
If I’m honest, I’m glad the medical didn’t work. Even given that mine didn’t work, so was spared a lot of the trauma, the surgery was the right decision for me. I wish I’d have pushed for the local surgery on Sunday but at the same time I’m glad I tried the medical as I was given some idea of what to expect prior to the surgery. I’ve never had a suppository before, it was an experience.
I think my pain threshold is quite high, which may be why I got on with the local really well, and, from what I can make out, the risks with local come from people not coping with the pain, for example moving and flinching can cause issues. Luckily, the most I had was a toe curl.
Yesterday I was googling the procedure under local and saw some horrific stories, but if you’re like me and would like to avoid the general anaesthetic, this option really isn’t a bad one.
The hospital gave me a sick note first thing this morning, signing me off work for two weeks, they signed all of our holiday insurance forms and gave us everything they could to help us claim and take the stress of holiday cancellation away for us too.
They really have been amazing. I have never been a hardcore NHS hornblower, but now I understand. Incredible humans doing an incredible job in such horrific circumstances.
If my experience can help one person, I thought best to share. I’m so sorry for everyone on here going through this or having gone through the pain of miscarriage. I hope for us all that we are not far away from happy news 