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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

How do you cope with leading up to the due date?

1 reply

123whatsmyusername · 10/07/2018 19:39

Backstory: we found out our much-wanted baby had severe abnormalities which would have severely affected her quality of life. We had a TFMR at 19 weeks. After a 3-day labour, she was born alive, somehow. She passed away a few hours later.

Slowly, we’ve been coming to terms with what happened and the future ahead of us (conceiving a healthy child is unlikely). While we are doing ‘normal’ things, the pain is still there.

The due date is approaching - it’s less than a month away. Next week, I would have been beginning maternity leave. The emotional pain is worsening for me (especially as I have a close friend whose baby is due just a few weeks after ours should have been). DH is reluctant to talk about it at all and I feel so alone. I go to counselling every three weeks and am glad of an outlet. However, my last session is next week and I feel worried about burdening my friends with this as I’m aware friendship is a two-way street. They were great at the beginning but I don’t want to drain emotional energy from them. I want them to want to spend time with me the same way that they did before all of this happened.

To all of you who are or have been in a similarly difficult position, how did you cope with what should have been your final weeks of pregnancy?

OP posts:
Puggsy · 29/07/2018 19:33

So sorry for your loss and the added trauma at the birth of your little girl. I have just had a tfmr a few days ago at 17 weeks and lost my little girl so still very raw. Completely understand the not being able to talk to partner thing. I know when I'm upset it upsets him so try to keep it away from him. Men just seem to move on straight away he hasn't told any of his family or friends about her so it feels like our little girl doesn't exist in his world which makes me sad but I respect how he wants to handle it. My friends offered to talk but no one can understand this if they haven't been there. Obviously I can't help answer your question but it is something I will be facing too later this year. It's such a crappy and lonely club to be in. Take care I hope you find your way through the next few weeks and someone out there can offer advice. I have requested to join the ARC website forum which is just for people like us hopefully more help available there xx

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