Hi girls,
I'm writing this as a thank you for all of the posts I'd read over the past 2 months whilst worried sick about my baby whilst being pregnant. I've been glued to Netmums and I wanted to return the favour. It's been a pretty grim few weeks. I thought I'd share everything that's gone on with my own pregnancy in the hope it might help someone else in return.... It's going to be too much graphic information for some, but I was so upset that no one told me what to expect, so that I could at least be prepared for what was to come.
I'm nearly at the end of what feels like a never ending miscarriage:
- My last period was 15th April 2018.
- On 13th May 2018, the date of my due period, I did a test and was excited to find out I was pregnant, for the first time ever, after 5 long years of trying (I have endometriosis). So I tested positive 4 weeks since my last period (I started drinking 50 billion bacteria coconut kefir drinks every morning since the end of April and call me crazy, but I think that's what got me pregnant).
- I felt constant nausea for 12 hours a day from about 5 weeks, and felt really dreadful. I kept being told that was a positive sign.
- I was too excited to wait for my 12 week scan, and I paid privately to have an early scan. At 7 weeks and 1 day, I went for a private scan and I was told that the baby was only measuring 2mm and that either my dates were wrong, or there was a problem. I knew my dates weren't wrong because my periods are always every 28/29 days, and I used to do those ovulation sticks a few years ago so I knew roughly when I ovulated, but they were so expensive, I had to give up using them after we'd been trying for years. The private clinic asked me to come back in 2 weeks' time, when I'd be 9 weeks and 1 day, so that they could see if there had been any further growth and we'd be able to know more.
- At 7 weeks and 3 days, light brown spotting started. I spoke to my GP and she arranged for me to have an NHS scan at my local early pregnancy unit, but they didn't have an available appointment for several days... It felt like the longest wait, worried sick.
- At 8 weeks and 1 day I had the NHS scan, and they confirmed the baby's heartbeat, and that the baby was now measuring 4mm, so it had doubled in size since my private scan a week before. Yay! I was so excited I went and stupidly bought baby clothes from M&S.
- My nausea started to get better this week (8 weeks ish)
- At 8 weeks and 4 days my spotting turned to bleeding, like a period, but it was a brown / purpley colour. My GP sent me to A&E. After an 8 hour wait, the gynae ward wouldn't scan me to tell me if the baby still had a heartbeat, which was torture to be honest. They gave me an exam and said that the blood was brown, so it was old blood, and not to worry. They took a blood sample to measure my HCG level, and asked me to come back 48 hours later so that they could do a repeat test. They wanted my levels to have doubled to confirm a viable pregnancy. At 8 weeks and 4 days, I was 27,790 HCG, and at 8 weeks and 6 days, I had only gone up to 28,197. Not good. Only then did they agree to give me another scan, but I'd have to wait 5 days until there was an available appointment.
- At 9 weeks and 1 day, luckily I still had that free rescan at the private clinic, so didn't have to wait too long for answers. They told me that the baby had grown to 6mm but sadly there was no longer a heartbeat. They told me to still have my NHS scan so that I was in the system.
- At 9 weeks and 4 days, on 21st June, I had my NHS scan again at 8.30am in the morning, and they confirmed that I was miscarrying. The same sonographer who'd scanned me the week before at 8 weeks and 1 day, was pretty alarmed at the amount of blood I was losing, she held my hand and looked like she was going to cry. This is the day when everything turned pretty horrible:
** After the scan I had to see the doctor. The doctor told me I had 3 options: natural, pills (medical m/c) or D&C (surgical m/c). I was so worn down by the past few weeks, and constant bleeding that I couldn't imagine letting it run naturally, as I was told that could take weeks or even months, and I was so desperate to try again for a baby. I was worried about infection with a D&C, so I asked if I could have the pills. They wouldn't let me go home with the pills, and they said that I would have to have them inserted in hospital, and they booked me in to have a medical miscarriage the following day (I'd be 9 weeks 5 days). I asked the doctor what would happen and they just said I'd pass the sac and clots - no real information on what to expect at all. This is where I really think people are let down. They're so vague.
** whilst I was still in the early pregnancy unit around 10am, I went to the toilet and passed several huge blood clots the size of my fist. Naive as I was, I went back across the corridor and said that I thought I'd passed the sac. They rescanned me there and then and said the sac was still there, and they must just be massive blod clots. That really freaked me out because I couldn't figure out what I could've passed that would be that large if it wasn't the sac.
** the crazy person that I am, I went to M&S on the way home at around 11am to get a pair of summer PJs as the hospital ward was boiling hot, and get some nice food in for my husband and I, as I knew we'd be in the hopsital all day the next day with the medical m/c and so I wanted to get prepared. At the bottom of the escalators in M&S I started to bleed out, and made it to the toilet just as I passed more and more clots larger than my hand. I went next door to Boots and bought a bulk load of Always night pads and those bed wetting mats for kids so that I could get home.
** I drove home and was bleeding so heavily that I thought I was going to pass out. I was filling a night sized Always pad every few minutes. I sat on the toilet for ages just letting the blood and clots all pass out of me. In the end I got into the bath because it was the only thing I could think of, as I was bleeding everywhere. I was in the bath for 3 hours passing massive clots, and then kinda got trapped in the bath because I was bleeding so heavily I couldn't get out of the bath without the bathroom looking like a horror scene. I had to drain and refill the bath water 3 times, as I was passing blood, clots and bits of grey cord like material. I had a pint glass of squash with me and it's so gross, I had to just empty out the glass and I kept filling it up with clots that I was picking up with 2 hands. This is how large they were. No one tells you how large they're going to be. It was horrendous.
** I got out of the bath in the end, went straight in the shower to wash off and felt so unwell I was about to collapse. My husband was still a 4 hour drive away (he was away with work), and so he made me call the early pregnancy unit. At 4pm I called them and they told me to call 999 for an ambulance and come to A&E asap. I didn't call 999 but a family friend drove me to hospital instead with stacks of towels, bin bags and those bed wetting mats to protect her car. We got stuck in traffic and thank god I had those mats.
** I arrived in A&E and this time bypassed the waiting area and was sent straight to the minor injury area where they gave me a bed, put me on a drip and monitored my blood pressure, which at one point got down to 80/44. It was a long wait for the gynae doctor to come down and see me in A&E as there weren't any beds up on the emergency gyane ward. He did a visual internal exam with a spotlight and could see that there were still bits stuck at the neck of my cervix and tried to pull them out but couldn't. He tried again in the early hours of the morning, but there was still stuff left. At 4am they'd made a space for me upstairs in the gynae ward, and I was admitted. My iron levels were down to 98 and I was being monitored for a blood transfusion.
** in a few hours' time I was due to have the medical m/c that they booked me in for anyway, the morning before. They went ahead with this at 2pm, and inserted 4 pills inside me and I had to wait 6 hours to see what I passed (I was given pots to pee in, and they had to check everything I produced). At 5pm they were taking about booking in a D&C for the following day, but I was still not allowed to eat any food, in case I needed an emergency D&C. I started trying to move around to see if standing would help get things going, and at 8pm I passed the placenta. The doctor looked through everything and the baby wasn't in there, but I was pretty sure I'd seen it in the bath that afternoon :-(
** After I'd passed the placenta I was allowed to go home late that night, or could stay the night again, it was up to me. I chose to go home in case they needed the bed for someone else. That was the early hours of 23rd June. I was told to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks, and if it was positive I needed to call them. I was told to not start trying again for a baby until I got a negative test, so basically wait 3 weeks before trying to conceive again.
- From the 23rd June onwards I felt totally exhausted, out of breath, dizzy and have problems with head rush. I couldn't even have a shower without feeling faint. A few days after that I started getting excruciating pain going to the toilet, both wee and poo, and general pain in the area. I went back into the gynae ward and with a suspected pelvic infection, I was prescribed 2 sets of antibiotics for 2 weeks to try and kick the infection, and iron tablets, as my iron levels were still awful (102). Ironic, as I wanted to avoid a D&C to avoid getting an infection, but I got one anyway. I wish I'd just had a D&C in the first place.
- on 28th June I was rescanned to see if I still had bits left inside that could cause the infection. It was confirmed that there was a small area of what they call "product" left, and to come back 10 days later to see if I passed it all. I passed a few thumb sized clots a few days later
- The bleeding switched to a brown light discharge on 2nd July
- I finally stopped bleeding / discharge on 6th July
- On 7th July I did a home pregnancy test, just to see. I was still pregnant - I did 2 tests. I've never wanted a negative so badly in my life.
- Today, 9th July I went back in for another rescan. They think I've passed everything but I have a large fibroid there. They took a urine pregnancy test, which came back negative, but they also did a blood test to check my infection levels. I just called up the hospital for the results tonight and my HCG levels are at 148, so definitely still pregnant! They can't explain why the urine test came back negative.
They're now making a plan for what to do next and I have to go back into hospital tomorrow.
I'll update this once it's finally over, but I just wanted to write what happened in case someone else has the same experience.
Good luck for everyone going through this, and hope you have a smoother miscarriage than mine
xxx