Fear of trying again after preterm labor loss

[Sice]

hello had preterm labour loss of twin boys due to an incompetent cervix at 23 weeks in February 2018.My DH is now ready to try again. I am 38 Years old and scared as the loss affected me greatly.Had a previous loss in June 2017 at 8 weeks so the second pregnancy was much appreciated and at 23 weeks I was happy with my twins.losing the twins was devastating and was an emotional wreck and still am .does trying make it easier

Hi @Sice I am so sorry for your losses. I have had two early mc and a stillbirth of my dd at 27 weeks last September. We have just started ttc again. It's very hard, daunting, emotional and I don't know how we will cope.
Anyway just wanted to say that there is a group of us in very similar boats over in conception on this thread.
TTC after stillbirthwww.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3244374-TTC-after-stillbirth
Please come and join us for some support on this crazy journey.
Also it's totally ok if you aren't ready to try again yet. It's normal for you both to be on different timelines. I wanted to try sooner but DH wasn't ready.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Hi I lost my twins boys in very similar circumstances at 24w back in 2012. In 2013 I got pregnant with twins again naturally...massive shock! I had a cervical stitch and lots of scares but they arrived happy and healthy at 35+5w. They are now 4 and start school in September! Not going to lie it was the scariest time of my life but I was well looked after and it was worth it! At the time I wrote a blog which might help you a bit I'll see if it is still on. Huge hugs to you I remember it all like it was yesterday!

for you. I had a very similar situation with a miscarriage at 10 weeks and then preterm Labour at 17 weeks with an incompetent cervix. I was adamant I couldn’t face trying again and actually fell very quickly completely by surprise. I had a cervical stitch in at 13 weeks and my 4 year old is now playing in front of me .

It’s was a very very tough pregnancy mentally and in hindsight I’m glad it happened again so quickly and gave me a focus. It will be tough, but so worth it whatever you decide to do. I’m so sorry for your losses

Here you go!
1in10thousand.blogspot.com

Thank you ladies it's comforting I am not the only one

@Sice I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my twins at 23 weeks at Christmas. It broke our hearts. I am also on the ttc after stillbirth thread with @Miami81, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am and that you're not alone.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter in April at 20+2 which they think was due to I/C. I also had an early loss at around 7/8 weeks prior to losing my daughter.

I am so scared of trying again, in fact at one point I didn't think I ever would want to again as I couldn't face losing another child. I am due to have a TAC placed in 6 weeks and then will start ttc.

I won't lie I am petrified. After my early loss I assumed after week 12 everything would be fine. I know im going to be anxious in any future pregnancy even with the TAC in place. There are some Facebook groups full of women who have I/C that I have found very helpful.

Hi Sice.
I lost my b/g twins last July at almost 23 weeks, and have recently given birth to my rainbow boy.

I had fortnightly cervical scans and lots of midwife/consultant support.
They still don't know what caused me to labour, but they think it was the pressure of having twins on my body.

I won't lie, the following pregnancy was so frightening. Anxiety was almost unbearable at times. BUT I managed to get to 34 weeks with my ds, and he's doing amazingly well now.

Don't pressure yourself too much. All the will in the world doesn't change what happens to us unfortunately. Deal with things as and when they happen.

So sorry to hear this
We lost our son at 22 weeks due to I/C - it was horrific and beyond devastating. For subsequent pregnancies I had the cervical stitch and regular consultant lead care and scans to check cervical length. I was v worried and anxious the whole time. I don’t think we even bought a crib until I got to 35 weeks, but our two are now 8 and 6.
Ver best of luck to you- it is a very hard road that you are on.

Meant to add- my next two were big babies (8lbs plus) and the stitch held well each time

Thank Shakevigorously for the inspirational message. Congrats on you rainbow son xx.Personally I have always loved twins and really losing two sets in such a short space of time has been debating. when I went for my first scan in October they had actually seen a singleton but in October they saw twin gestation. It's truly not an easy journey but hope and faith will push us through ladies thank you for your support