miscarriage will he forgive me

[Lou1081]

Hi just need some advice and wondered if you lovely ladies could help me.
In September last year my ex got me pregnant we had a one night stand and then continued to become friends after that with no further sex. I realised I could be pregnant and did multiple tests all negative till one final one came through positive.
He had something very important on that weekend so I didn’t tell him and during the following week had a miscarriage.
He then started seeing someone and I didn’t want to look like I was trying to stop this or look like I was lying so have kept it to myself and 2 close friends.
We have recently started spending time together again but he really upset me this weekend and in a fit of emotion I burst out with it to his best friend.
He’s said I need to tell him I don’t know if I do I don’t think the best friend will ever tell him he has said what’s between us is between us and he doesn’t want to get involved. If I tell him now after he’s upset me is it a bad move do I ever tell him do I let the dust settle and tell him later on. If I tell him now does it look like throwing it in his face. Please help me.

Just to confirm we were together 6 months prior to this and split for a few months

First of all, I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. You've done so well to cope with this let alone without the support of your ex. In terms of telling him, I wouldn't. Your ex is presumably in a new happy relationship? You bringing it up will look like you're scoring points or making digs. If you're friends again it could ruin that also which you obviously don't want to do. I would speak to your ex's best friend and explain that you were caught up in the moment, regret what you said and would appreciate it if he kept it to himself. I think that would be the most mature option.

If you did tell ex, what do you think his reaction would be? Nothing can change it now and I assume you've both moved on and don't want to get back together?

Hi thanks so much for the advice. We are both now single and we’re spending time together and speaking about getting back together and then all this has happened x

Ahh ok well I might change my mind then! If you're getting back together he needs to trust you and vice versa. I would maybe tell him really calmly and tell him your reasons for not telling him before (not wanting to interfere in his new relationship, not wanting to 'point score' etc.)

Once again I'm so sorry for your loss, it's not an easy situation to be in! I think how he handles you telling him (if that's what you decide to do) will say a lot about him as a person and whether he's serious about getting back together and putting the past behind you (not the baby but the break ups etc)