First pregnancy first loss

[Bluebutterfly90]

Hi,

I recently started bleeding at 5 weeks 2 days pregnant. I've been bleeding since Thursday (5 days), with very little clotting but mostly like a regular period. I was also previously experiencing pregnancy symptoms like sore boobs which have also completely stopped now.

To be honest, the whole thing has been horrible. I called NHS 111 when I noticed the bleeding and then got referred to my GP who just had a nurse ring me and say that there was nothing that they could do and that there wouldn't be any point doing any scans. I had to ring around to get through to the Early Pregnancy Unit who told me to only worry if I was in a lot of pain or bled for more than 7 days (?!).

On top of this no one really knew, I've had to tell work because it happened at work and I had to go home, but I only told a few people now. I realise it's a hard topic and it makes people uncomfortable but no one is really helpful- asking me if I'm really sure I've lost it or if maybe it could have been twins and maybe I just lost one.

This last point is so hard for me because twins are in my family and it's giving me false hope.
I know I can't take a test because it might still come up positive, but I feel like I need to know for sure. I don't know what I can do. My GP was no help at all except for telling me to take a test next week.

I'd not really thought that this was going to happen to me (nobody does I suppose), but this was my first pregnancy and I honestly thought there'd be more of a support system in place for early miscarriage but everyone I spoke to acted like it wasn't a big deal.

Any advice for someone losing their first pregnancy? Is there anything I can do? Should I have asked the GP for more information? Am I wrong to be so sad for losing such an early pregnancy?

Thanks

First of all, I'm so sorry.

You were right to talk to your GP. It's important to log early loses with them, and if you have a couple more chemical pregnancies/early loses, you'll need to see them again so they can look into it.

I know what you mean though. Everyone thinks it doesn't mean anything, but it does. For a few days you're full of hope and excitement, and it's taken away. There isn't a great deal of support in place for early loses.

Be really kind to yourself. It's perfectly natural to grieve, be angry, sad, feel however you want to feel. Surround yourself with supportive people, take a few days from work if you need to, but I promise you will get through this.

Keep an eye on the bleeding, anything abnormal, I'd ring your EPAU, or GP. And keep an eye out for once sided or intense abdominal pain. But I'm sure you know that already.

It doesn't get any easier. I had a few loses between 5-24 weeks over the course of a few years. I think no matter how far along you are, that pregnancy matters. Don't push yourself to try again straight away, although you can if that's what you want.

I don't mean to give you false hope at all, but with DS I bless pretty much continuously till 16 weeks, proper heavy flow. I was convinced every day I was losing him.

Oh, and of course you aren't wrong to be sad! It's perfectly healthy to grieve.

Have you got a good support system in place? An understanding DH/DW/DP?