Hi ladies, just looking for somewhere to vent/some support.
I miscarried my baby at 12 weeks and 5 days on Saturday. This isn't my first miscarrige, it's actually my 4th, but all the other ones were 7 weeks or less. I've never got this far along before. I started bleeding on Friday evening, rang the hospital for advice and then the next morning it had basically stopped with just a bit of light cramping. I rang for advice again and to see if the hospital could book me in for a scan sooner because my first one wasn't till Wednesday the 27th. They told me to come in to have a look at me, examined the bleeding and said there's nothing to worry about and that they had rebooked my scan for Monday and sent me home. Whilst driving I felt a pop and a slight gush, as I pulled up at my house I went to get my daughter out of the car and a massive amount of blood started gushing out of me. I ran in the house and I'd soaked through my clothes and was bleeding very heavily. My partner rushed home from work and took me back to the hospital where they confirmed I was miscarrying and my body was having a bit of trouble passing it which is why I was bleeding so heavily. They used a speculum to open my cervix and removed the rest of the pregnancy. At about 1am after a few more examinations they said I was okay to go home if I wanted, which obviously I did because I wanted to get my daughter home to bed. I tried to go to the bathroom before we left and I went extremely dizzy and collapsed. They hooked me up to a drip and kept me in over night as I had lost a lot of blood.
They let me go home yesterday afternoon and I've just been trying to rest since. I'm forcing myself to eat and sleep because I know I need to recover for my daughter but I feel totally broken. I also feel tremendously guilty about this loss, like its not just me who's lost a baby but my daughter has lost her brother or sister. My other miscarriges were before she was born. Then I had my miracle baby and now this. I know she doesn't understand what's going on as she is only 6 months old and she never has to know but I feel terrible as I'd been telling her she was going to be a big sister. I do want to have more children one day but this has really put me off. I just don't know how to feel x