Recurrent miscarriage/chemical pregnancy

[ADayInTheSun]

Hi all, I could really do with some advice.

Last year I had a late miscarriage, took a long time to recover from physically and emotionally. We finally conceived again last month but miscarried again, this time much earlier, about 5 weeks I think. This cycle it has happened again, strong pregnancy symptoms and a faint bfp yesterday but today my period has arrived and test is negative.

I'll visit the GP to let them know but I'm in a real pickle about what to do next. I'm 34 and have PCO with regular but long cycles. I'm otherwise healthy as far as I know (had lots of tests after the first miscarriage, all came back clear).

Doctors have all been very optimistic about our chances of having a baby eventually given that we're the right side of 35 and obviously fertile, but now I'm really starting to worry that something is wrong that will prevent a pregnancy from ever lasting. Maybe some issue caused by the physical trauma of the late miscarriage, or poor egg quality due to PCO and me getting older?

I can be referred back to the hospital but I don't really know what they will do. Can anyone who has been through something similar let me know what to expect? I would be happy to just keep trying and ideally would prefer to avoid intervention if it risks making things even more stressful or complicated. But I also feel like time is not on our side and I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

It's such a rollercoaster and every time I get to a place of feeling strong and positive about it, I get hit by another setback. Almost everyone I know is pregnant and I just can't believe we've been trying for 2 years, three pregnancies and still no baby.

Thanks for reading, I know it's long but really helps to get it all down. I'd really appreciate any words of wisdom and support.

Anyone? I'd really appreciate any advice. My mind's all over the place at the moment.

Hi.

So sorry to hear of both your losses. I was wondering if you had any testing done after your late loss? If you can be referred back to the hospital maybe that is a good starting point, even if it is just to have some of your questions answered at this point.

My story is not that similar to yours, but I had 4 early miscarriages over a period of 2 and a half years. I had a uterine abnormality picked up when I had my first MC. After MC number 4 my consultant agreed to operate and thankfully I am now 29 weeks pregnant. It has been a very long and difficult road and I struggled in different ways at different points. After 6 months of trying after MC number 2 my GP did organise some tests and refer me on to the hospital even though we didn't fit the recurrent MC criteria. At that point the outcome was still 'it is probably just bad luck and keep trying' which was a bitter pill to swallow, however, I did find feeling like I was actively doing something helped my mental state.

It is so hard because when you are in your early 30s it really does feel like the whole world is pregnant except for you.

Thanks so much for your reply. So helpful to get a fresh perspective on things. Congratulations on your pregnancy, that's wonderful!

Yes, baby and I had lots of tests after the late loss, nothing wrong with either of us. It was put down to pure bad luck and DH and I were advised we could start trying again as soon as we were ready.

Feeling quite anxious about going back to the hospital but at this point it might be the best option.

So sorry for your losses

I have 2 dc, then after them it all seemed to go to pot! I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, followed by another at 5 weeks, a late mmc came next at 20w (stopped growing around 16 weeks) and then a chemical at 4ish weeks after that. I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic where the first step was to have all the bloods under the sun tested within the first few days of your period, and to not ttc during the time you are under them. The first month, the two days I could have gone in for my bloods I totally forgot to fast each morning!! So ended up rolling it onto the next month. We were a bit naughty and decided to not prevent anything happening as I really didn't think we'd be lucky enough anyway, but low and behold when i was expecting af that next month, it didn't arrive and I was pregnant! I'm now 27 weeks and everything is absolutely fine this time!

The first few weeks I felt sick to my stomach as you are discharged back to the gp if you fall pregnant while under investigations, and I was really worrying if it happened again (which seemed likely given the run of miscarriages we'd had) that it would take so much longer to get an answer! But if we had prevented it then I wouldn't be where I am now preparing for our little boy to be here! We never got any answers as to why it kept happening and I didn't opt for any type of post mortem or tests after our late loss as I wanted the ordeal over and done with instead of having to wait for closure. I really hope this gives you a bit of hope and that you get your happy ending soon

So sorry for your losses

I now have two children but I had an ectopic and a miscarriage before DS then 3 miscarriages before DD.

I was seeing a recurrent miscarriage consultant at the end before conceiving DD. He did loads of blood tests and diagnosed me with Factor V Leiden - blood that clots too easily. I injected a blood thinner called fragmin which led to success. I have a friend who saw him and she was diagnosed with a high level of natural killer cells and treated with steroids. She now has two kids. I was lucky enough to see him on the NHS as he works at my local hospital but you can also see him privately - Mr Shehata.

I found seeing a consultant helped me feel like I was doing something constructive to help myself and helped me get through a bleak time.

Good luck x

Sorry for your losses OP
I've had 6 MC varying between ruptured ectopic at 4weeks to MMC at 11 weeks. We still haven't had a successful pregnancy. After lots of test we finally we given blood tests for genetic issues. Turns out DH is carrier of a chromosome translocation. Causes severe disabilities with fetus, hence I miscarry. It was 5 years before we were given the blood tests for genetics. What I'm saying is, don't give up looking for answers. Keep going back to GP / fertility clinic. There are soooo many reasons that it could be happening to you, it's not an easy ride.
Good luck to you xx

Thanks for all your kind replies. Congrats to those who are pregnant and fingers crossed for those of us still trying
I really appreciate you all sharing your experiences. This can feel like a very lonely time and it's helping just to know that I'm not alone. Does anyone have any tips for coping with the stress of ttc and miscarriage anxiety day-to-day? Sometimes I feel like it's all I can think about!

The only tip I can give you is to make sure you don't let it consume your relationship with DH. Make time to enjoy each other's company and unfortunately it may end up being just the two of you (hopefully not though!)
We both have busy jobs but we have proper date nights and every couple of months we book a night away in a hotel. Enjoy each other and support each other xx

It is so difficult. I think it is important to just let yourself feel how you feel on each day. Some days are harder than others but that is ok.

I found running very helpful. Training for half marathons gave me another focus and a sense of achievement. And the time when I was out running was good for processing things.

It can be a very long and difficult road for some of us ladies sadly.