MMC on Wednesday
bobbyoo11 · 08/06/2018 07:40
I’m completely new on here, but I needed some extra help or input. Since I was 9 weeks pregnant I’d had spotting on and off and was told it was no cause for concern and that it’s normal. As long as it doesn’t get heavy with cramps etc you are fine. Monday I came home from work because something didn’t feel right so I rang the doctors, as I couldn’t get in touch with my midwife( nothing unusual midwife has been useless all the way through). I was told to ring other numbers and go from there so I did. I still wasn’t satisfied so on Wednesday after resting etc and having bloods on Tuesday recommended by a nurse at the antenatal clinic, I went for a scan at the EPAU referred eventually by my doctor. The sonographer asked how many weeks I should be, I said 11, she said the baby is measuring 7-8weeks.. at first I thought ok maybe my dates are wrong but she didn’t look too convinced, she then said I will pass everything over to the doctor. After me and my husband left the room to speak to a nurse about my results. I looked at my husband and he just broke down, so instantly I did too. I think I was more in shock than anything I did not think anything of what the sonograpgher said to me, it never registered I just thought the baby is a bit slow, she never even said there was a heartbeat. We got called into the nurse eventually and she explained that it’s looking like a silent miscarriage but will do bloods to be sure and to check my HCG levels. I felt so lost sat in that room with the nurse and husband. We have already a healthy, happy, teenager attitude daughter who is 4, my first pregnancy was an absolute breeze so for me the whole thing felt like a bad dream on Wednesday. No two pregnancies are the same I know that, this is just something you don’t expect and I now know it is very common. As I sit here typing this I’m still pregnant, HCG results yesterday show the hormones are dropping, so it’s definitely going to end. Funnily enough I’ve had no spotting since Monday... I’ve had on and off cramps so I kept thinking it will happen soon, but no, so now I’m thinking on the other two options. As much as we are upset, I would like to start to get back to normal if you can put it down as normal? I’m worried about either procedure and I’ve been told it’s your body only you can decide. I’m finding difficult to decide and I just wondered if someone could give me their experience? Again I know everyone’s body is different I’m just at a loss, I’m not sure if it’s the grief I’m experiencing or I am just so indecisive. Any input or words of encouragement is appreciated.. thanks sam
Snowflake9 · 08/06/2018 10:16
I have had a similar experience. First pregnancy. On the Saturday I was 12 weeks (Bank Holiday Weekend) I had some brown spotting and symptoms of a UTI. Called 111, saw out of hours GP. He just gave me antibiotics.
Bank Holiday Monday, I had dark black blood. So I called 111 again, saw a different Gp who referred me to a hospital.
My husband came with me, we did the usual blood pressure etc. They said it was probably the UTI causing the pain / discharge but will scan to be sure.
So we sat anxiously outside the scan room, I knew in my heart then that it wasn’t going to be ok. We went in, sat in silence as she ran the machine over my tummy. These words will stick with me forever “How far along are you?”
“I am not seeing a 12 week sac, there is a pregnancy sac but I will have to do an internal scan to see”
I left the room, came back and felt absolutely numb when she told me that what was in the sac was only measuring 5/6 weeks. I was told to come back a week later to see if there was any progress.
So we left, I was in complete melt down for the week. Went back a week later, confirmed that it hadn’t grown so was put in a private room to discuss options.
I am having a D&C on Tuesday under general anaesthetic.
The cruellest part is my body continues to think it’s pregnant. I have a small bump, sickness still etc.
You must be feeling a whole range of emotions , but I can offer one piece of advice “find the positive” where is the positive in this situation ? There has to be one. The positive for me is it has bought my husband and I closer than I ever thought we could be. I am stronger mentally than I ever thought I was.
Cry if you need to cry, sleep if you want to sleep. You need to give in to yourself.
People don’t discuss missed miscarriages, I never knew it could happen. But it does and it is the most devasting thing. Please don’t give up, there is a light at the end x x
Snowflake9 · 08/06/2018 10:17
Oh, and I decided for a d&c under general as I dont want to look back and be scared if I ever had to face it again. X
bobbyoo11 · 08/06/2018 10:38
Thank you snowflake9 for your words and encouragement . Sorry for your loss too.
I was going to opt for a D&C quick and out the way but I don't know if I can face being under the anaesthetic?
Currently I've been having brown spotting and quite intense cramps, so in a way I'm hoping it will shift now on it's own. Not looking forward to any of it but I want to move on and grieve that way.
One positive out of this for me, is it just wasn't meant to be. Husband is due to go away end of June for 4 months he's in the RAF. So I'm thankful it's happened now rather than while he was away. I'm trying to be positive and concentrate on our daughter she starts school in September.
Life gives us some dodgy cards but I know it doesn't last forever. After a storm or a few a rainbow will appear and it will be all ok.
I shall see what happens today if not I may opt for some help. X
Mistymeow · 08/06/2018 12:49
So sorry to hear of your loss. I was in your position two months ago. I miscarried naturally but had retained tissue. I desperately didn't want an Erpc but I knew it was for the best. Actually, it was a surprisingly calm experience. I was treated with compassion and was even having a joke with the staff. I was left with some bleeding for 3 days and light cramping. I felt a bit woozy from the GA but felt fine the next day, just tired. I was going to opt for a local but I read up on it and it sounded a bit traumatic and painful. I'm glad I went for a general but you have to do what is best for you. You also may want to miscarry naturally so I would take advice from the doctor on this x
bobbyoo11 · 08/06/2018 12:59
Thanks mistymeow. It's so hard, my cramping and spotting has increased but I'm still at a loss. I'm going to call my doctor now and see what they say. I may all being well have the D&C and get it out the way even though the anaesthetic freaks me out, I'm no good with things like that. Xx
Snowflake9 · 08/06/2018 21:01
I went back to hospital this morning and they re scanned me as my bleeding had stopped (been bleeding and cramping for nearly 2 weeks now) the sac is still there so they will continue with d&c on Tuesday.
It’s heartbreaking as if my body doesn’t want to let go of it.
I hope it goes the way you want it to go. Just know there is no right or wrong. X x
bobbyoo11 · 08/06/2018 21:31
Bless you snowflake9. Im really sorry to hear that.
Well today I went to the hospital and got told to come in tomorrow morning to take 4 tablets orally and start off the contractions. Not looking forward to it but to get over this brick wall I need to start somewhere. I hope it happens quite quick and I can relax but you never know everyone's body is different.
All fingers and toes crossed, there is a rainbow after the storm just remember that xx
Snowflake9 · 08/06/2018 22:04
We are all here for you. X x
bobbyoo11 · 09/06/2018 08:35
Thank you xx
HelloViroids · 11/07/2018 15:33
@bobbyoo11 How are you doing? I had an MMC diagnosed on 4 June with D&C on 6 June, and my heart is broken
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