2nd mmc, no children and feeling hopeless
Mabelmay87 · 06/06/2018 20:10
Hi, never written on here before. Usually just read others. Had my second consecutive mmc last week and feeling pretty hopeless about the future. I’m someone who’s always wanted children since I can remember. I was never bothered about a career (although I do have one) I was just biding time until I fell in love and could start a family. My partner was resistant for a while as he didn’t feel ready and was still enjoying his bachelor lifestyle (we’re both in our early 30s) I told him that it could take a while and just agreeing to try doesn’t give you a baby overnight but he wouldn’t have any of it. He finally agreed to try a couple of years later and sure enough 2 miscarriages later we are still no closer to my/our dream and I feel so desperately sad and worried for what the future may or may not hold for us. I feel empty and like my life has no meaning. I don’t know how to get past this and feel so lonely. My partner is taking the tough love approach and telling me to snap out of it and my family are caring but just try and offer me solutions saying things like ‘at least you know you can conceive’. I can’t get over the fact that while my baby was alive I was doing everything I could not to connect to it as I was terrified it would end like the first time. I didn’t appreciate the little life I had inside me until it was too late and the heart had stopped and I was told it had gone. I’m rambling really but I just don’t know what to do next. If anyone has any advice, support or wants to share their story with me I’d be so grateful.
MrsSquiggler · 06/06/2018 22:09
I'm in exactly the same boat op. Currently having my second mmc, no children. I realised it might take a while to conceive but I didn't see this coming. But, from all I've read the chances are still in our favour in the long run. I think I read somewhere that it's still more likely that a 3rd pregnancy will be successful than not. But I'm definitely going to try not to get attached next time. At least if the worst happens, after 3 miscarriages you can get referred for tests and maybe get some answers. Right now just feel in limbo.
My dh is being really supportive. I don't think I would take well to being told to snap out of it right now! You are greiving. I can't face telling anyone else though, I just can't face the looks of pity and the 'helpful' comments.
Hopefully some others will be along to share their success stories soon.
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