This really got me hard today

[Bloatstoat]

Hi,
I've not posted on this board before, but I miscarried at 7 weeks at the end of April and I've been finding it so helpful to read everyone's experiences, thank you.

I was at work today, and my lovely colleague has announced her pregnancy due a week after my due date would have been. I feel so horrible, I said all the right things and I am pleased for her, but also had to hide in the loo for a good cry. I'm dreading the next few months, it just seems to make me feel what I've lost until I almost can't breathe. Has anyone gone through similar - what can I do? I need to get a grip and stop feeling so resentful and mean, logically I know this but it's hard :-(.

Firstly it's completely normal for you to feel this way, so don't be hard on yourself. After my missed miscarriage I initially found it difficult seeing my best friend pregnant as it reminded me so much of my loss. As hard as it was, I went to see her and we spoke every day. It got easier. I was able to separate my loss from her pregnancy. Her baby is not my baby. It helped me. It's hard when it's a colleague and you can't express your feelings, but it will get easier. It's still very raw and you are grieving. Allow yourself to do so and be kind to yourself.

I feel for you I could have written this post! I was baby bombed on Friday at work too. 5 years at my job and not a sniff of pregnancy from anyone. I had one MC in February and another in April (which this colleague also knows about!) and then she announced hers. We would have only been a couple of weeks apart. I’m dreading going back tomorrow and seeing her. I want to smile through gritted teeth and say congratulations but I don’t even know how genuine I’ll sound. I’m resentful that she’s got what I wanted and lost.

I don’t have any good advice unfortunately but just wanted you to know you’re not alone! X

Thank you both for your replies, and I'm sorry for what you've been through.

It really helps to hear it did get easier for you mistymeow - when you said 'her baby is not my baby' that has made me think, will try to keep that in mind tomorrow.

Ells, it does make a lot of difference to know I'm not the only one. My colleague doesn't know about my miscarriage, and luckily there were a few of us there when she announced it so I was able to join in the general congratulations and slip away. Will think of you tomorrow, it's just all so hard isn't it. Take care xp

I'm in the middle of a mc. Dreading going back to work because there's a lot of nosey people who won't accept 'sick or 'appointment'.
I've been asked (wrongly) by 3 different members of staff things like 'Any pitter patter of tiny feet yet?' And 'Newly weds when is the next addition coming along?'

I'm sure it's harmless chitchat, but like my manager (only one who knows) said, 'Everyone's journey to raising children is different.'

So with that nice sentiment in mind I'm now trying to think of an appropriate response which isn't fuck off.