Probably miscarrying - in limbo

[GruffaloPants]

I was 5w yesterday but started bleeding around midnight and continued through the day with period-like bleeding and very mild cramps. Am still going now, about 32h in. GP examined me and referred me to the EPU who won't see me as it is too early to scan.

So now I'm bleeding, waiting for a week to test, feels like a mc but nothing certain.

I am lucky enough to already have two DCs so I know it could be worse. My DP has been great, but he is sad and worried too, and is probably holding into more hope than me.

Don't really know if I am asking anything. Just want to get it out and hear from anyone who has gone through similar (or not).

@littleemma1 I also have a great support but nice to talk to you all where it is also so fresh. My husband has been the best support bless him. Shit is definitely the word to describe it, so unfair man. But hopefully we will get a baby in our arms in the future. I have a 6 year old and he's amazing, would just love another hope you are OK also 😘 x

@GruffaloPants that's good that it's easing off, it's extremely uncomfortable. Hope things get better for you, just got to take each day at a time. I hate that I don't feel pregnant anymore 😔 x

Thanks @Holsfie0929 Yes it's rubbish not feeling pregnant again. I've got a 6yo too, and a toddler. The 6yo is a great big sister and keeps asking for another! That was a lovely conversation last weekend but stings now - I don't want to stop her talking about babies because of course she hasn't a clue what's been going on.

My DP was a great support while we were waiting to know for sure that it was a miscarriage. After I got the negative test I think he was avoiding things a bit. In part because we get so little time without children around and listening in (schools were off here Friday) so we've had to put a brave face on a lot. But last night we had a cuddle, a few tears and said how sad we both are about it. That helped a lot. This pregnancy wasn't really planned so I'm scared to bring up TTC. I think I'll wait til I think I'm fertile again. I'm 40 so we can't really wait around.

I hope everyone's feeling ok today.

@GruffaloPants just take each day as it comes, I've been reading alot about how your fertile for a long period of time (4-6 weeks) after a miscarriage. Not that I'm thinking about TTC right now, will see how we go. That's lovely from your 6 year old, my son is not so keen but if or when it happens we will have to prepare him. Lots of people I know have had babies in their 40s so don't worry about that. I didn't meet my husband until I was 30 (my son is to a previous partner) so we had that worry when we started trying after we married can we have them together, 7 months later it happened, then this... As my husband says its another stepping stone in our lives, time is a great healer and having the support of family is amazing. Children make it a little easier with their funny ways x x

@Holsfie0929 I agree, it’s nice to talk to you ladies who are experiencing this at the same time.
@GruffaloPants I’m pleased your OH has been supportive too. Hopefully he’s on board with TTC again.
Although it may seem early, and even though I haven’t had my negative test yet, I’ve already worked out that if my body goes back to “normal” I should be in the fertile week when I’m honeymoon. I’m desperately trying to not get my hopes up that it will happen so quickly again.
My boobs have randomly started hurting again though which is frustrating me.
I’ve also started to let my mind drift into “what if it wasn’t a miscarriage and I’ll get a positive next week then go for a scan and my tiny little pumpkin is still in there” but I REALLY shouldn’t think like that because I don’t want to be crushed a second time.
Hope you’re both OK today. My OH has had to go to work and I think because I’m alone for the first time this is why my mind is wandering xxx

I hope everyone's well. Sorry I didn't come back and respond over the weekend. I kept looking but just felt kind of empty and talked out. Feeling brighter this week, and looking forward to TTC now DP and I have decided we want to try again.

Hi @GruffaloPants.
I actually had a really bad day yesterday. Had to call the doctor and cancel my midwife appointment and 12 week scan which set me off then she said I’ll get the midwife to call you later so I cried to her as well.
Going back to work today and I’m quite anxious about it. I don’t even know why!
I’m pleased you and your husband are in agreement; we are also trying again ASAP :) xxx

Well I made it into work, but I have a severe lack of concentration.
It doesn’t help that a good friend told me on Friday (whilst I was still bleeding) that she is pregnant, knowing what I was going through. To top it off she keeps telling us (we’re all in a big TTC group chat as there’s quite a few of us and it’s nice to have the support) how shit she feels etc and all of her symptoms. She just doesn’t seem to grasp the I am happy for her but it’s hard for me to listen too as I SHOULD be a week ahead of her and I’m not 😭😭😭

Hi Ladies! I'm a little late to this thread but just wanted to say how shocked I am none of you were offered a scan so early on.

I went to my local hospital last week with cramps and shoulder pain and they drew blood over the course of the week to compare samples and I now have my first scan tomorrow! I'll be 6 weeks on Friday so naturally I'm a nervous wreck.
I just want to know are the cramps/bleeding severe and very intense when a miscarriage is impending?

I'm really really sorry for you all. I know it must have been terrible to loose your little miracles but I hope it all works out for you in the future! ❤️

Hi @Christiina
Sorry you find yourself here.
Are you bleeding with your cramps?
We haven’t been offered as there was no point because they cannot detect anything before 6 weeks, and both @GruffaloPants and I miscarried before that point.
I have to say the care has been fantastic from a support and advice side of things. Xx

@Christiina sorry if you have already got your answer but just wanted to tell you my experience if it’s of any help. I had some light bleeding and a little bit of pain (literally just twinge like cramp nothing major) and when I went in for a scan it was a MMc. So I guess all mc don’t start as severe pain or bleeding.

I hope you have a more positive result and a healthy pregnancy :-)