Miscarrying at 7+4

[ThisWasntThePlan]

I had brown discharge yesterday (Sunday) evening, and woke to mild period-type cramps and redder discharge this morning.

At the EPU at lunchtime, the fetus measured small, with no visible yolk sac or heartbeat.

After worsening cramps, I passed lots of blood and clots this evening, mostly in one go.

Could that be it, all done? Or does it tend to come in waves?

The doctor said to return next week to check viability - do you still go to be checked even though a pregnancy is over? Do they need to check everything’s gone?

I know early mc is common but I’d prepared myself for another specific issue with this pregnancy and having been focused on that, mc has come as an unpleasant surprise. I can’t quite believe it’s happening.

Grateful for any advice.

I'm so sorry for your loss I just had my ERPC today for a missed miscarriage.

I had been bleeding for a number of days and losing clots but the sac and baby didn't come out. They will need to rescan you to check that the sac has came out because it some cases it doesn't.

Meant to add they normally leave a week gap and then rescan I think it might be nhs guidelines and it has to be diagnosed by two doctor and ultrasound scans before they can offer medical management if you don't miscarry naturally

Sorry op it's a horrible thing to bleed in pregnancy but, yes you will need to return for the second scan. Some people bleed heavily and have a healthy pregnancy for others it signifies mc.

For me I had a similar story to you but only started bleeding heavily after my second scan which showed no progress what you describes sounds similar and I went on to have a mc. I don't think you can be rescanned too soon as it is difficult to see much with the bleeding etc but I may be wrong. Can you phone epu and ask for advice, I found them really helpful and it may ease your mind a little bit.

Take it easy and look after yourself.

Thank you so much for your kind replies and sorry that you’ve both been through similar. Apologies for not coming back to the thread sooner, I was crying on the phone to my mum.

I’ve read your ERPC thread yellow. As somebody said, it’s good of you to post the detail because, much as I hope not to need one, knowing how it goes is preferable to not.

How are you feeling emotionally? (Don’t answer if you don’t want to, not everyone wants to go into it online.) I had to take a little DC to the scan which wasn’t ideal and so had to keep it together; it’s only since DP got in and put DC to bed that I’ve had a chance to have a good cry.

Makes sense about a gap before the necessary repeat scan. Good suggestion, rupert, I’ll call the EPU in the morning for advice.

Even though there’s surely next to no chance that the pregnancy isn’t over, I’m reluctant to take painkillers, just in case. I’ll have to make do with a hot water bottle. Still getting lots of painful cramping.

Thanks again both

So sorry for your loss. I was 11 weeks and bled for over a week before having ERPC. Unfortunately, the repeat scan is necessary. It's awful but somehow you get through it. The best piece of advice I was given was to accept that you'll never get over it but you will learn to live with it. Share your feelings with friends, you need lots of love and support. Sending hugs.

@ThisWasntThePlan after they confirmed my via 2nd scan I went home a cried my eyes out for a bout two hours because I was scared about what would happen next, would it be sore, I didn't want to flush my baby down the toilet and what would I do with it, I want to move on but never forget so what could I do to always remember it.

After I had a big cry I spoke to dp and he reassured me we could do what ever I want to do and we agreed that we would buy a cherry blossom tree but they was worried if we moved etc, so then we decided a lovely Tiffany bracelet to remember (I never wear jewellery so it's a big deal for me) and means so much. Do you have a supportive dp or relative to go through this with you. I found just having that one person to reassure every small or big worry helps.

This miscarriage stuff seems to go on for so long in total my baby was inside with no heartbeat for a total of 4 1/2 weeks so you do come to terms with it and just want to slowly fix your body and move on.

When I went in for the surgery yesterday dp keep making me laugh about my gorgeous net pants and socks etc and the nurses enjoyed having a laugh with us which made it all so much easier. The nurses where all so nice.

And today I am sad but I feel ready to start to focus more on my current dd and perhaps on a month or two try again. We will visit the baby of remembrance garden this time next year for ourselves.

You grieve in whatever way you want sometimes you need to think of the what's ifs a cry and get it out of your system because you can move on until you go through the pain. I'm meeting a friend for lunch today who have just rent through a similar situation so we will chat about it.

I will answer any questions what do ever for you during this difficult time

Sorry about my spelling mistakes was trying to type fast before nursery run. I'm taking a day to myself to relax, get some nice food shopping in and meet a friend for lunch

Thanks, Tea, for the message and the hugs. There’s nobody other than my mum and DP to tell in real life, so it helps to talk on here. I had a big cry on DP last night and my mum will be round later today.

DP offered to do school drop off this morning but I thought it was better to move about not stay in bed. Took little DC to the park for a bit. Still in some discomfort and felt a bit teary but it was a nice, bright morning and DC had fun.

EPU said to come back for a scan next week. Fingers crossed there’s nothing left behind so I can get back to normal asap, physically at least.

The whole pregnancy felt a bit unreal so it’s a strange feeling for it to be over so suddenly.

sometimes you need to think of the what's ifs a cry and get it out of your system because you can move on until you go through the pain.

You’re so right, yellow. I made this mistake once, a long time ago, and it really took its toll.

Hope your had a good lunch with your friend and were able to console each other a little.

Thanks for taking the time to talk to me here

@Thiswasnttheplan how are you getting on? Talking on here helped me lots, something about speaking to people that actually got it.
Here if you need a chat.

Thanks for thinking of me, Tea, it was kind of you to come back to the thread

I hope you’re doing ok. It must be very difficult to get as far as 11 weeks and suffer the loss at that stage, not least because it’s so close to the 12-week mark when the risk drops. Have you got a plan for the next weeks and months? (I haven’t because it was all so unexpected.)

I had a full week of bleeding, heavier than a period, which only slowed yesterday, was browner this morning and seems to have stopped today. I do think last Monday night’s clots were the loss of the embryo.

At the follow-up scan this morning, the consultant couldn’t see evidence of retained products and said I’d only need another scan if the bleeding doesn’t stop completely within the next week, which it has.

And my period should return in 4-6 weeks, with a pregnancy test negative in two (it was a pale line last night). I’ll be glad to be back to normal physically - I had an awful sense of unravelling when it became clear something was wrong and the pregnancy was ending.

My first miscarriage was before DC and, for me in my circumstances (I know it’s different for everyone), sad though I am, it’s comforting to have DC and softens the blow a great deal.

What I’ve found is how hard it is to tell anyone, how to find a time to tell another person that something they didn’t know about has ended. And not because you don’t want to talk, necessarily, or because they wouldn’t want to listen, but just because it’s over and in some ways there’s no more to be said.

I’ve found MN threads, even the old ones, are invaluable when you find yourself needing to read others’ experiences, so I’ll update in a week or two what happens with the pg test and then when my period comes back.

I had my ERPC yesterday 10 days after a private scan told us our bean had stopped growing 10 days before and had no heart beat. Feel in limbo about what next today?