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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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I'm Sorry But I Can't See A 12-Week Baby In There - Opinions on Future Action

4 replies

Yekaterina · 03/05/2018 19:29

My heart was between my toes as the nice sonographer lady uttered the identical sentence to what was delivered to me last September.

Sh!t! Again? Really? Even though I'd been the perfect saint with my abstinence from the booze and the fags and having eaten so much leafy greens my hair should resemble a head of broccoli. Even though this time I opted to adopt a more stoic, pragmatic, realistic approach, this time I would be prepared for anything, this time I would be so much more OK should things turn out bad, but as nice as the scan lady was, she sliced half of my heart off with those words. Devastated. Numb.

Last year I fell pregnant during the dawn of the worst year of my life, both mine and my partner's fathers succumbed to cancer after a very short fight. My pregnancy was a ray of sunshine to us and our families, we got overexcited and told every man and their dogs. There was nothing of substance to be seen on the ultrasound, a half-arsed attempt at a gestational sac, I started miscarrying on the day I was due in for the medical management.

This time around the babe managed 7 weeks, it actually developed. I'm having the surgical procedure next Tuesday and no longer afraid (never been knocked out by anything that wasn't Chardonnay before). I'm also waiting for the breakdown, I've been numb all this time. I'm ridden with guilt over the fact that I've caved into the likes of stress and didn't tone down my fitness routine, didn't relax and become this Earth mother hippy type. At the end of the day - we can always do better in everything, can't we. I know everything will be OK in the end, and I need to be looking into the future as I always do.

My quandary is that I don't want to wait for the NHS's three miscarriage rule. I would like sooner, closer and more regular monitoring, which I know can only be achieved by going private. Can anyone offer their accounts and feedback? Is it really worth it? Shall I just keep my toes (actually, perhaps my legs) crossed next time?

Thank you

Kat

OP posts:
TinyPaws · 03/05/2018 20:36

I'm so sorry to hear about your scan. You can do everything right and still get a bad outcome unfortunately. Not your fault at all. x

MagicalCreatures · 04/05/2018 20:35

I’m so sorry you had to go through that again. That’s exactly what I’m scared off. I had a miscarriage in December and am 6 weeks pregnant now.
The only thing I can suggest is paying for an early scan next time so you don’t have to wait 12 weeks. That’s what I’m doing this time. Got a scan on Monday.
💐 for you x

Miami81 · 05/05/2018 09:58

I am so so sorry for your loss. We went private for scan at 7 wks in second pregnancy after first mc. Unfortunately the baby was measuring small and miscarriage was confirmed a few days later. Mine were mmc too, which is why I felt I needed the early scan. I just felt I couldn't wait another 5 wks. So I would say even though our outcome was still shit, I felt better knowing that we knew earlier.
Also if you have a sympathetic gp who would be willing to do the referral for you that would be great. Due to my age >35, family history (lots of pregnancy loss on maternal side, way more then 1 in 4 pregnancies if that makes sense) and the fact that I have a uterine abnormality, my gp was happy to refer me after two losses. If you don't ask you don't get.
Also if you have the resources I know that you can pay for the tests privately at most of the fertility clinics.
Again I am so sorry for your loss.

Louizah · 08/05/2018 15:54

So sorry for your loss Kat.

I have also just had my second miscarriage within 6 months and am trying to work out whether it is worth getting private tests done. The thought of trying again at the moment is terrifying. It may well be true but it’s just so hard to believe the “it’s just bad luck” line twice...

Will go back to the GP initially and see whether they can be talked into running some tests.

Also very interested in any feedback or experiences in this area that anyone has to share.

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