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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

1st Pregnancy

13 replies

Lynds4536 · 19/04/2018 10:12

I found out last week I was 5 weeks pregnant. On Tuesday night I started bleeding lightly which got quite heavy by the end of the night. Phoned the hospital who told me to phone the early pregnancy unit in the morning as they would get me in for a scan. Phoned the next morning to be told as I was only 6 weeks, there is nothing they can do. I have to wait two weeks and take a test again. I know I have lost my baby as I passed the sac, it was one of the worst experiences of my life :(. But my partner wont believe it and keeps telling me to think positive. He also thinks we were having twins and there is still 1 fighting away. I don't know what to do to make him realise I have had a miscarriage. Any advise please?

OP posts:
BadBadBeans · 19/04/2018 19:40

Oh, this sounds so hard :( It must be especially hard when you are trying to grieve and deal with the loss, but your partner's way of coping with it is to cling on to any shred of hope. Is there any chance you could afford a private scan, which your partner could attend as well, so that you could get confirmation that the pregnancy has ended without having to wait for your levels to drop low enough for a negative pregnancy test?

Lynds4536 · 19/04/2018 20:05

There is only one place near me that does a private scan and the first available appointment is the 6th of May 😕

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Blondcat · 19/04/2018 20:07

@Lynds4536 I can't offer any advice but just wanted to say I am in the same position as you currently a week and a half after bleeding started which was at 6+1 no scan just wait and see take a test after three weeks of still positive call epu back. It has gotten slightly easier since the bleeding had stopped but just wasn't to know now that it is definitely over so I can try again. Flowers

Lynds4536 · 19/04/2018 20:11

Sorry for ur loss @Blondcat. Its so tough. I have only been bleeding for 2 days but heard it could last a while. Half of me is desperate to start trying again but the other half is terrified as i dont think i could go through this again.

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Blondcat · 19/04/2018 20:18

@Lynds4536 sorry for you too. It is totally shite. I know what you mean about being terrified it will happen again as I feel it too and think I will be a bag of nerves when I get the next bfp until I get confirmation all is OK much further into it.
If it helps my bleeding went much lighter after about 4 days and was just brown like the end of a period for the last 4-5 days and last day was just barely spotting.

Lynds4536 · 19/04/2018 20:23

I was really heavy on Tuesday night for a few hours and ever since then its been light and watery. Hoping it dosent last too long. Im heart broken and cant stop crying. I wish you all the luck in the world when you do get a BFP.

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zarala · 19/04/2018 20:27

Hey there @Lynds4536
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss
When I had my first MC I was less than 6 weeks too but they scanned me! I would try and find another EPU at another hospital - I am quite shocked they just told you to wait!
So sorry! Sending hugs

HayleyHaystack · 19/04/2018 20:28

Hi all, just here offering support. I share your pain with you. I miscarried last week at just over 8 weeks. I managed to avoid intervention and it happened at home, the day after no heart beat was found on the second scan. There was a heart beat on the first. It comes in waves I find. Physically I finally feel 'fine' - the bleeding has stopped after 7 days so I feel I've got my old life back but the sadness is ever present. I did a pregnancy test last night out of curiosity and it said pregnant and that just made me sad again. Hormone must still be there. It was my first pregnancy, I'm 34, and we were just was so thrilled about it all. I know feel apprentice about trying again. We've agreed to book a last min holiday and forget about it for a month or 2. But the next pregnancy will be very different and I'm paranoid if I will even get pregnant to be honest. Sending my thoughts and love to you all xx

HayleyHaystack · 19/04/2018 20:31

Apprehensive not apprentice !
Oh I also got the all clear at the hospital yesterday after a final scan and that's a bit of a mental boost if that makes sense, because you feel like all the anxiety has gone x

Lynds4536 · 20/04/2018 08:30

@zarala a lot of people are shocked that they haven't scanned me as well. It would be easier to just let me know now (even though, I all ready know in my head) instead of having to wait 2 weeks.

@Hayley, im sorry for your loss. it really is heart breaking. this was my first pregnancy as well. I would be gutted as well if I did a test and it was still positive. Im trying to hold off and not do one until the 2 weeks are by. hope you enjoy your holiday, it sounds like a good idea. Fingers crossed we will be luckier next time :) xx

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TinyPaws · 20/04/2018 09:23

@Lynds4536 So sorry to hear about your loss, I hope your partner is beginning to accept it.

I’m currently in the process of miscarrying my first pregnancy, it really is horrible.

Lynds4536 · 20/04/2018 10:00

@TinyPaws, thanks very much. We had a good talk last night and he finally broke down. think that's him accepting it. But we both agreed when the time is right we will try again.

Sorry for your loss, hope your doing okay. It really is. I have never experienced anything like it.

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dreaminofholidays · 28/04/2018 08:52

sorry to hear of everyone's losses.
I have also just miscarried on my first pregnancy. The bleeding started at 5+3, was told to go to a&e who referred me to the EPAU who couldn't see me for a week. We went for a private scan as I was going out of my mind with the uncertainty.
That was also inconclusive. The bleeding carried on and this morning I got a negative on a CBD. Heart breaking but at least we now know.
DH as been amazing. I just can't believe how hard it's been. A massive rollercoaster from shock of finding out (we weren't trying) to accepting it and starting to feel excited. Then the bleeding started.
and with all of this you're expected to carry on as normal.

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