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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

I cry everyday

18 replies

Kate8989 · 18/04/2018 20:05

Miscarriage in January, had pain from Feb onwards daily. Having an operation next week to investigate.
I have no life, I cry everyday. I’m scared to
leave the house. I contemplate suicide everyday. How do I go on? X

OP posts:

rupertpenryswife · 18/04/2018 20:23

I'm sorry about your miscarriage OP I have also had one so I know how unbearable it can be. Do you have anyone you can talk to, I think what you feel sounds normal but I do think you should see your GP you sound like you might be suffering from depression, speak to the GP be honest with them and see what help they can offer. But for now you need to be kind for yourself and try to speak to someone, if you are talking about suicide I would suggest you phone the Samaritans now, until you can access your GP. Do you have a family member you could talk to now? Please don't suffer alone you really don't need to. You can always talk on here if you want to.

Have you looked at the miscarriage association website I found that really helpful?

Original poster

Kate8989 · 18/04/2018 20:27

That’s really kind thank you! I feel I haven’t properly processed the miscarriage because the pain I’ve been experiencing has overtaken that.
I won’t find out until next Thursday what’s causing the pain and I’m scared about what they might find. My Husband has been great but there’s only so much he can say. Telling me I will have answers next week and things will get better but I just can’t see that right now.
I want my life back.... I want to go shopping, go to the theatre. Have my friends over.... is that so much to ask? X

OP posts:

GuildedLily · 18/04/2018 20:42

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you get some answers about the pain soon.

In my experience I was still in deep grief at this stage and in time it did get easier to bear.

I found it really helpful to have someone to talk to separate from my family who were of course grieving too.

City Pregnancy counselling is a good place. They provide free of charge counselling to women who have had a miscarriage. Based in london but they do offer telephone counselling if you are far away.

Original poster

Kate8989 · 18/04/2018 20:44

I think once I’ve had the operation I’ll look for some counselling. I just feel the worlds against me. I lose my baby then been in physical and emotional pain since. I mean WTF is going on?? Xx

OP posts:

rupertpenryswife · 18/04/2018 20:45

It's not too much to ask but you need to get through next week before you can move on, it's so hard as its emotional and physical, my DH felt a bit lost and didn't know how to help, I felt like a failure I was so happy one minute and do devastated the next.

You need to take your time things will get easier but it's hard to say how long this will take, you need some answers first, then you can process the miscarriage. Just know what you are feeling and saying are normal, you need to grieve but it's hard whilst the physical process is ongoing .

Sunshineworshipper · 18/04/2018 20:46

You poor thing 💗. I can't imagine how that feels. It sounds like something possibly hormonal may be going on aswell, or would you say the depressive feelings have been due to the loss only? Which I know is considerable and so so tough. I think if it's lingering badly after a trauma then you possibly need help via counselling etc.
I know this limbo period is awful before your surgery. Hopefully all will be okay or if there is something they can fix it. Especially if you're healthy etc. I am probably not much help, but I couldn't just go past this post. Really felt for you.

Original poster

Kate8989 · 18/04/2018 20:55

They don’t know what it is... possible endometriosis but I’ve never had this pain before so it doesn’t make any sense? That’s why my head is all over the shop....
The pain is horrible and sometimes comes on so strong like in waves all over my body.
I thought I’d be pregnant again by now, I don’t remember the last time I had sex x

OP posts:

Thatgirl123 · 21/04/2018 19:43

I’m really sorry for your loss.
I completely understand I lost my baby at 5 weeks in October and I’m still struggling now I’ve been for scans everything because I was in so much pain and being sick after wards if you need anyone to talk to, let me know x

Original poster

Kate8989 · 21/04/2018 20:18

@Thatgirl123 thank you for your message. I’ve gone majorly downhill since my MC both mentally and physically. Did they find out the source of your pain? It’s such a worry as you can see from my original post it’s taken over my life xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Kate8989 · 21/04/2018 21:45

@Thatgirl123 look forward to hearing from
you x

OP posts:

Steeley113 · 21/04/2018 21:54

I cried every day for nearly 6 months even though in that time I’d gotten pregnant again. It still hurts now, almost a year on. It does get better though as each day passes and you’ll learn to live with the pain. Be kind to yourself xx

Original poster

Kate8989 · 21/04/2018 22:01

It’s horrible.... can’t even begin to think about getting pregnant again. I just want the pain to go away x

OP posts:

Thatgirl123 · 21/04/2018 22:29

I am physically and emtionally heart broken there has been times where I’ve just wanted to leave everyone and disappear because I feel so guilty. I was just given pain killers to manage it but I’ve been tested for endometriosis before I MC xx

Original poster

Kate8989 · 21/04/2018 22:30

@Kate8989 have you had a laparoscopy? Can I ask how long you were in pain for? It’s been daily for around 2 months for me x

OP posts:

Kocerhan3 · 21/04/2018 22:35

Oh babe :( I had a Mc in Feb too, I feel you. I know how you're feeling. It will get better, and you will be stronger. Look forward but remember the past. I'm dreading October as this would be when I was due, but we HAVE to stay positive. Cry all you want, it's normal, it's natural. Hell; some days I literally can't control it! Like, it just happens! You're human, you've suffered a loss, you're grieving. Many women are together, you're not alone. I'm here if you want to talk. Also, an amazing charity helped me loads on days I couldn't bring myself to discuss what was happening with anyone else - search for the miscarriage association. They're phone likes are open 9-4 and they're the most super people, so genuine - some experienced this too and they will listen, or advise. They have answers and words you need at this time. Stay strong, who knows what the future brings. Xxxx

Thatgirl123 · 21/04/2018 22:35

Yeah I had one a year ago this month, the pain after the miscarriage or the laparoscopy?x

olgahotspring · 26/04/2018 07:00

Kate, this is awful, it probably feels like there is no light or happiness in the world - I really feel for you and I have been there, it took month to feel normal again and it took many weeks to smile... My heart goes out to you in this sadness and I just want to let you know that you are not alone and that there is light and happiness in the world and there will be time when they will come back to your life. May I suggest seeking professional help, like counselling specializing in women's challenges like this? It really helped me with my miscarriage... I send you hugs and support and light. There is sunshine behind the ark clouds, even if we don't see it, it still still there, it is just so damn hard to think about it or remember it at times like this. xo

olgahotspring · 26/04/2018 07:01

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