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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

In the process of a miscarriage........I think???

26 replies

LorLa · 12/05/2007 20:37

Can anyone please give me some advice - I am going mad here!

Last weekend I experienced some light bleeding and back ache so I was booked in for a scan on Tuesday. I thought I was 12 weeks pg. When I had my scan I was told the dates don't match up and that I am showing as 7+3 and therefore I am probably having a delayed miscarriage. I was sent home with pain killers and told that bleeding accompanied by pain would begin that day or the following day. I still haven't experienced any heavy bleeding, my back ache has gone but I am still spotting. I am so confused as to what is happening. I have been told I have to wait until Tuesday to have a re-scan but as every day goes by I get more and more hopeful that everything will be ok and I really don;t want to get my hopes up.

I cried a lot on Tuesday but now I just want to get it all over and done with and TTC again. Has anyone else experienced a miscarriage like this? This was going to be my first baby so I am quite clueless about the whole thing.

OP posts:

Sunyshineymummy · 12/05/2007 20:42

I can't help but bump for you. And hugs too.

suwoo · 12/05/2007 20:43

Sorry can't help, but thinking of you. Take care x

fransmom · 12/05/2007 20:44

oh babe ((((((((((((((lorla))))))))))

i haven't got a clue sorry sweetheart. the best thing to do would be to speak to your doc on monday if you can. hth x
for lorla

sallysparkle · 12/05/2007 20:45

I'm no use either but someone else will come along soon. Good luck

Rumpel · 12/05/2007 20:47

So sorry about your situation. Sometimes things dont come away naturally so if nothing further has happened by Tuesday they will prob offer you a D+C to clean out womb. Horrible to go through I know - thinking of you.

whomovedmychocolate · 12/05/2007 20:47

I had an early miscarriage quite like this. I was only seven weeks at the time and there just wasn't a lot of blood. But you have to go for the scan to check there aren't any remaining 'products of conception' as they so charmingly put it! If you haven't experienced heavy bleeding and there is anything left they may ask you to have a D&C to clear everything out which is unpleasant but you get over it fairly quickly.

I'm really sorry to say but if you thought you were twelve weeks and you showed seven, things probably have gone badly wrong and there is nothing that can be done.

It will take you a long time to accept what has happened I know and nothing anyone says will make it better, but the majority of people who go through this go on to have healthy babies, often quite quickly because the body tries to get pregnant again. However emotionally it's important to give yourself some time to grieve before starting again.

Take it an hour at a time. Do you have a partner around to give you some support?

TenaLady · 12/05/2007 20:47

It sounds like your possible miscarriage is very different to mine.

I miscarried triplets in the early stages but I can only describe the sensation as if I was contracting in my lower belly and my pelvic floor was contracting too.

This happened for the best part of the day followed by the bleeding.

If I were you, I would remain hopeful.

Good luck x

jules99 · 12/05/2007 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wheelybug · 12/05/2007 20:49

Hi ! I haven't had a 'missed' miscarriage but I have had a miscarriage.

Hard though it is, I think the best thing for you to do is to wait until your scan on tuesday and see what they see there. It may be your dates were wrong and everything is ok or, unforetunately, it may be that your body is holding on to the pregnancy although it is not viable and then I expect you would be advised to have a d&c or you may be able to take something to induce the miscarriage.

Thinking of you - there are lots of people here who have been through this (I didn't realise just how many until it happened to me) so there is lots of support if the worst does happen.

Rumpel · 12/05/2007 21:04

Just want to add - if everything was ok at the last scan they would have seen a heartbeat and told you. Sorry but I dont think you should get your hopes up as that would br crueler in the long run. I had a missed miscarriage at 11 wks and only found out at the scan - my first too. I was devastated also but if it makes you feel any more hopeful fot the future we conceived 3 months later and now have a 7 month old. Sometimes I think your body needs a practice run if that makes sense. xxx

gothicmama · 12/05/2007 21:08

Lorla, I have just had MC at 12 weeks I had about a week of spotting and then one night of cramps and very heavy bleeding where the sac etc came away. Mc can be different for everyone, you can also elect to have a conservative miscarriage rather than a surgical procedure and if you opt for the natural way then they should scan you every two weeks whilst it is happenning,

Original poster

LorLa · 12/05/2007 21:18

Thank you all so much for your kind words.

Jules99 - I amj still spotting but a in no pain or discomfort. I just want it all over and done with now. On Tuesday the nurse asked if I wanted a d&c or for it to happen naturally. I had only just been told I was having a mc so was in shock and said naturally. But when I thought about it at home I decided I wanted it over & done with and called them. They told me I would have to wait until the scan on Tuesday.

I have decided to think the worse. Although I never had any sickness and felt pretty normal throughout, I certainly don't feel pregnant in any way any more which is why I just want to get it all over and done with.

We just want to start trying again....I loved being pregnant and so want a baby so we am raring to start again!

Thankfully my dh is being very supportive and our feelings are exactly the same.

It is reassuring to know that what I am going through is normal - I just never imagined that a mc would mean having to wait for it to happen - that is the worst.

Thank you all so much for your support, it means a lot to be able to talk to others who have been through the same.

OP posts:

ravenAK · 12/05/2007 21:18

I had a missed mc at 8 weeks at the end of February. Had some spotting, scan showed 5-6 weeks. Was told my dates could just be wrong & booked in 10 days later for a re-scan.

The spotting continued for several days before turning into quite heavy bleeding - wasn't physically painful at any stage.

So sorry to say from my experience it sounds like this is what is happening with you

I had similar feelings of alternately getting my hopes up/just wanting to get it over with. It's a wretched business. Take care of yourself x

Original poster

LorLa · 12/05/2007 21:25

Can I just ask....does anyone know if d&c or natural is best? My gp says there is no difference but I have heard that d&c means that the whole thing does not drag on as long and that it can be less painful.

Thanks again x

OP posts:

gothicmama · 12/05/2007 21:31

d&C comes with some risks as it a surgical proceedure adn there can be complications, although you still bleed for upto 2 weeks after it has been done. a natural one whilst it may seem to drag on the actual bit where everything comes away is quite quick (a good book to read whilst on the loo is a good tip). The importnat thing to remember is what is right for you which every you choose there are pros and cons so it is a very personal decision

jules99 · 12/05/2007 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maisym · 12/05/2007 21:33

so sorry for you Lorla xxx

I've had a missed mc & then a d&c. Found out at my scan. I had an appointment for a d&c later the next week but started to bleed alot so went to hospital (the bleeding stopped) & then had a d&c the next day. No problems with this as an operation but horrid time as so sad and worried. Take things easy, be kind to yourself. Had some bleeding afterwards but not that much.

wheelybug · 12/05/2007 21:34

I don't think there is a 'best' - only a 'best for you' and thats what you'd 'prefer'.
One of my worst fears when I was going through it was that I'd need surgery - for no reason really but just how I felt about it. However, in hindsight, I think it does mean it doesn't drag on so I can see the benefits of it.

I would think about it and decide which you'd prefer if it comes to it so you are prepared.

wheelybug · 12/05/2007 21:37

oh yes and my 'natural' m/c was between 6-7 weeks and was just like a bad period - slightly more painful but manageable with ibuprofen and a hot water bottle. If it helps (apologies if it doesn't) but my other greatest fear was that I would know what I was passing. I didn't - there were lots of clots but never anything easily identifiable.

jamesherbertfan · 12/05/2007 21:39

Sorry to hear about this horrible situation. I chose to have a D&C after having my 12 week scan, thinking everything would be ok, then being told I wasn't as far on as i thought and told to return one week later because they coudn't detect a heartbeat. Had another scan, then was told I'd had a missed miscarriage (where it doesn't bleed or come away). They told me i could choose between the D&C or the medication. I chose the D&C because I'd waited a week not knowing and couldn't stand the thought of prolonging the inevitable any longer. There is the chance they could damage something, but you've just got to think about your sanity really. The tablets can take days I was told, as well as repeated attempts. Good luck whatever your decision. xxx

Original poster

LorLa · 12/05/2007 21:41

I think I am going to have a d&c. I hate the thought of waiting for the bleeding, then when it comes having to go through all of the emotions again.....not that the d&C will mean that I won't get emotional!!!

Once again, thank you so much for your kind words and Jules99 - would be great to have someone to be able to chat with - thank you.

OP posts:

jules99 · 12/05/2007 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glimmer · 14/05/2007 11:18

Hi Lorla. I am very sorry that you are going through such a difficult period. I would take it step by step. First see if the scan tomorrow confirms your worst worries. I had a mmc at 12 weeks and it was highly recommended to me to opt for a ERPC (similar to D&C, it's nowadays more common than D&C) beacuse it a natural could drag on for weeks. The problem is it is a surgery and has risks. I was quoted a 5% risk for it being incomplete (i.e. there is active material left after the surgery, which can get infected, prevent you getting a period and will make a second surgery necessary). This is a risk you also have with a natural mc. There are other risks that you only have if you opt for surgery, e.g. scarring to the uterus and cervix
(officially 1:10000). Both these things happended to me and I ended up having three surgeries and possibly pemanent dammage. I can really understand wanting it to be over, but if I had to decide again (and given my history) I would opt for a natural mc. You have to do what's best for you, but I would ask questions about the risk, insist of getting checked out after the surgery and take regular home pregnancy tests after the surgery to see if your hormones come down. Sorry if I scare you, but if I would have had this information I would have avoided 6 month of agonizing worry about what is going on.

lfm · 14/05/2007 16:05

Hi Lorla, I have had 3 miscarriages, 2 missed. They have been natural, d&c and waiting followed by medical management. I agree with whoever said there is no best, just whats best for you. All 3 of mine have been painless but the d&c obviously involves having a general anaesthetic so took most out of me that way. This time I waited 2 weeks for it to happen naturally then gave up and went for medical management and that took another 6 days to work so it does delay getting physically back to normal and ttc again if that is what you want. So,D&C is definitely quicker but may involve more risks. Hope everything works out well for you.

lissielou · 14/05/2007 16:12

hi lorla, ive had 4 mcs in the early stages and i have to say that they were all v difficult. you will never forget your bean bt the grief will become manageable. you do need to grieve tho and give your body chance to recover. cAT me if you need a chat.

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