Hospital church service for pregnancy loss

[Raver84]

I lost a baby quite far into a pregnancy in 2016.

I have recieved a letter this week from the hospital inviting me and my dh to a service at the local church for those that have suffered pregnancy loss and still birth. We can have baby's name read out.

I need to let them know if I want to attend but I can't decide. On one hand I want to go and hear her name and remeber she is part of our family. On the other hand I want to keep the sadness buried and do not want to unleash all the grief I've put away since she left. I have just qbout kept it together for my other children.

Her cremation service was so sad it was just me and dh as we wanted it to be just us. I worry that this service will rake up just awful memories, though I love her and think of her daily and what she would be like.

Has anyone else been to one of these services and how did you feel? I'm torn.

It's a lovely thought, and you will be there with other mums and dads in the same boat - so you can let your feelings out and everyone will understand. Maybe this is the place that you can unleash your grief and start to let go of the sadness.

I agree - say yes then decide on the day if you feel it's th e right thing for you.

You might also find it incredibly comforting. There is something very freeing about being in a place with others who have suffered a loss and all crying together. It is not the same, but after my DM died in a car accident, I went to a church service where they read out the names of the recently departed. Everyone was crying, but, for me, it meant that DM was not forgotten and I did find that a comfort. I was sobbing my socks off, as were a lot of other people there. You may find that knowing that other people are in the same situation helps slightly.

The only person who can decide this is you. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Thank you for your replies. I hadn't thought of accepting the invitation and seeing how I feel on the day. I think that's what I will do. I do want to go but depends how strong I feel on the day. Thank you again.

Will you have someone with you? That might make it better - or worse depending on who not is and how they will be feeling. Do you know the person taking the service? They might be a good person to speak to.

I worked for a vicar and remember talking to him about how hard it must be doing services for parents who have lost children. But the parents all seemed to be very grateful to him and it seems to comfort them.