First AF after mc bringing all sort of horrible memories and feelings back :(

[Kocerhan3]

So it's been about 7 weeks since I stopped bleeding from passing a natural early mc. I thought I'd have been pleased to get my first AF after it all, it would mean I'm back on track and can try again. But today i started bleeding and it's making me feel sick to my stomach to see blood down there again. It's almost like having trauma flashbacks or something, I'm hating it. Of course it's natural, it's gonna happen once a month again now but I can't make my brain seem to register this?! I just keep getting bouts of anxiety and dread by the sight of blood. It was so hard to put a tampon in mentally!! (Maybe TMI apologies) has anyone else experienced this?? TIA

I’m very sorry for your loss.
I don’t know what to say to help but I’m very sorry and you have every right to feel like you do. It must be horrid. Best wishes and hopes for a bfp soon.

For me this was one of the shittiest things about MC....it really did bring it all back up to the surface for me and particularly made me remember things visually that I'd forgotten. It did get easier after a few AF's, if that is any help at all..... for you

So sorry you’re going through this
I don’t know if this will help but I had an MMC at 12 weeks. When I got my first period afterwards, as hard as it was knowing I wasn’t pregnant anymore, I tried to see it as a sign that my body was healing and recovering. It meant I had a chance at getting pregnant again in the future, that first small step.
Maybe switch to sanitary towels for a while? Be kind to yourself, have a few treats some chocolate and a glass of wine. It will take time and it is hard but although the pain doesn’t go away, it won’t be like this forever.

Thank you so much for these comments, it's really calming me down. Wine is in hand, cheers ladies. Here's to all of us.

@kocerhan3 I hope you enjoyed your wine! Bless you. I Felt the same when AF came, it reminded me of the miscarriage bleed but also it felt like my body was saying "Look, not pregnant!" It just totally sucks. I agree with what Mossy said about trying to see it as a sign that your body is recovering and is ready to hopefully try again. I'm really sorry for your loss, take care. And I'll have a glass of that wine please 😁

@Athers666 hi good to hear from you xx thanks so much for your lovely reply, I'm a little better today. Hope you're well xx

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just got my first AF since early early mc as well. Makes me feel pretty crappy too. I’m glad I found this thread though. Sending hugs to you all on my way to get some chocolate.

It's rubbish isn't it. Pregnant people seem to everywhere we have to go through this silent grief/ pain.

Sorry for your experiences and losses here ladies... Athers you're right - why is Mc such a taboo topic? I get it's sensitive, of course, but we don't go around pretending someone didn't exist when they die, why is it a hush hush thing for mc?? Everyone kept asking me the other day when I'm going to have kids at work, and they're all discussing it and I just wanted to yell at them all "I DID HAVE ONE I LOST IT PLEASE BE SUPPORTIVE AND HUG ME BECAUSE ITS HARD, ITS SO HARD" but instead we have to smile and be all "oh I don't know, maybe we'll start trying soon" it's NATURAL and normal, why is it not "social etiquette" to discuss? Why do we get told to wait 12 weeks in case we lose it? Does it mean if it doesn't survive till 12 weeks it didn't exist or wasn't worth mentioning?! It frustrates me. Maybe I'm hormonal. Chocolate anyone?

Hey, sorry for your loss

I can relate to what you're going through. After the miscarriage I was a total wreck for the first 3 weeks. 5 weeks later I was starting to feel better (still sad but not crying all day and able to be in the same room as my pregnant sister in law). Then my menstruation came and it totally caught me off guard. It hurted so much more than usual and the pain took me back to that day. My emotions were all over the place again . I didn't have much support after the miscarriage, but at least there was a reason people could somewhat understand. With my menstruation, people were like 'it's been more than a month' and they didn't say it but I could see them think: get over it. Now my second menstruation is coming soon and I am wasting pregnancy testers in the hopes of being more mentally prepared that they will come (we are ttc again). Some people say: don't test beforehand, it is not good for your mental well being. I on the other hand believe that getting my periods again without warning is worse.

@Kocerhan3
You know what hunny
Fuck social etiquette!
I have been talking about my MCs to almost everyone! Even my waxing lady.
Why? Because when they ask how have you been? What am I supposed to say?
I have had 3 MCs since August - so I just say well I have been going through a really difficult time and I explain I have lost 3 pregnancies since August
To be honest most people have reacted really sweetly and it's been nice to be able to talk about it- I find it really helps

My mum keeps telling me I should stay quiet and keep it private- but why?
It's nothing to be ashamed of
It's nothing we did
It not our fault!
It's just shit! And if it helps to talk about it- talk about it
My mum says it's gives people ammunition to gossip about me- but seriously i don't care.
People need to know how common this can be and what it actually means

Anyway that's my rant!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is so, so shit.

I had a really bad time with mc1 at 11 weeks, it went on for months and I lost a LOT of blood. Eventually ended in me nearly bleeding to death, 6 blood transfusions and emergency surgery. Needless to say, the sight of blood downstairs scares me big time.

I have found it helpful to bbt as it gives me back some sort of control and I know when to expect to bleed. Therefore when AF arrives, I am forewarned as I always get a temp drop the day AF starts.

Time does definitely help. It has been just over a year now. I do still feel anxious when I am waiting for AF to start and during the first day or two when AF is heavy, but it is getting easier.

I have had an early mc at 5 weeks since then. It was heartbreaking but physically, much easier to deal with.

Still praying for our rainbow.

Sending you hugs and hope that your rainbow is coming soon. X