Really feeling it today

[EnoughisEnough1204]

It's now been a year since I found out I was pregnant for the first time. A year on, three pregnancies and no baby. Just found out the next door neighbours are expecting their second in May when my last one would've been born. It's floored me. I can't believe I have to literally see what my alternative life could've looked like on a daily basis. I am so good at being brave and getting on with it but I have just had enough today. Universe, please can I have a break? My partner doesn't want to talk about it so he doesn't "ruin his weekend" so I've got to stuff everything down and pretend it's all okay as per bloody usual. Sorry, just needed to get this out somewhere.

I'm so sorry. X

Thank you. Just somebody acknowledging that it's rubbish makes me feel better x

I'm so sorry @EnoughisEnough1204 you're right this stuff is just really shitty & you have every right to let yourself feel pissed off with the hand you've been dealt at times.
I found out I'd had my second consecutive missed miscarriage a week ago and has hit me today a bit too. Am at that point in my life now where it feels like everyone around me is getting pregnant/having their first & finding it harder this time to just swallow it down & move on. Have a complete ban going on Facebook for a few months for my sanity!
Know this process will make us a stronger in the long run (though think anyone would agree you'd rather just not have to go through it!) but I think it's right to accept needing to just let yourself feel shite about it at times - is only healthy I think!
XxxX

jessabean I'm so sorry for your losses and thank you for taking the time to respond to me with everything you have going on. I exited from all social media a while ago. No good comes of random scrolling! I hope that you are doing okay and talking some time to be really gentle with yourself. I know I don't sound like it today. But this does get a bit better. Xxx

It's so hard when your partner copes in a different way from you too.

I find writing down my feelings helps sometimes when I don't feel I can talk to someone. I have a little book just for that. Not a diary, but a venting book. But you can do that here to us too.

I've only lost my pregnancy recently, and a good friend announced her second pregnancy on Facebook yesterday. She's due around the time I would have been. I spent most of the afternoon in tears.

Hi OP. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. Why is life so cruel to some of us? Sounds like a cliche doesn't it, but, it's ok to just not be ok sometimes. You've been through so much and shouldn't have to be strong all the time. I hope you catch a break sometime. Take care x x x

Thank you all for your lovely supportive messages. Am feeling much better than I was. Am definitely going to look at getting a venting book! I am sorry that we are all going through this but it really helps to know I'm not alone. Keep looking after yourselves.

Knitkitty I am so sorry for your loss. My best friend had a baby a month after my first would've been due. It's really tough. Just remember that your reaction is completely normal and understandable. Try and be as kind to yourself as you possibly can. Feel free to message me anytime if you need to vent, cry or rant.