How to explain miscarriage to husband?

[horsetrainer]

I have been miscarrying now for about 10 days. I was 10.5 weeks. I told my husband when it started and we supported each other, but since then he has been really dismissive, picking fights and basically ignoring me when I try to explain what is happening. I am not sure he realises that this has not been a single event for me, but the process has carried on for weeks, despite me trying to explain. I feel so lonely, in pain and sad. Anyone had a similar experience, how did you get through and help them to understand?

Sorry op, that sounds so painful. I didn’t want to read and run, but I’ve never been in your position.
Could it be that he’s pushing his feelings away, so can’t handle hearing/ talking about it? Can you tell him how much you are. Hurting

I dunno. My husband was a bit of an insensitive arse when it happened to us; expected me to bounce back very quickly as we already had two kids.

I recall breaking down and having a total sobbing fit in the IKEA car park (what on earth was I doing in IKEA when I was miscarrying?) and, because I am very stiff upper lip normally, he finally got it.

Could it be that your DH thinks that not dwelling on it is the best was to get over it? Yes as women we know these things happen, but we still need to grieve.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he may well feel helpless and like there's nothing he can do to change the situation.

Many men are more practical so he could be thinking that there's nothing he can do to change the situation so his way of coping is to plough on and almost ignore the situation.

I'm really sorry for your loss. It is very very sad to get as far as 10 weeks and then suffer a MC.

Have you got other support? My friends were brilliant when I had to have surgery for a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks.

Thanks for your kind messages. Yes, I do have a friend who is very supportive, but hasn't been through it herself so it's difficult. I just wish he wouldn't make me feel like I'm on my own with all this. I think because I'm dealing with the physical side it's so much more real for me. He isn't very good with 'feelings' at the best of times, but this time has been so much worse.