Waiting for miscarriage, what to expect?

[KnitKitty]

Hi,

I found out this morning that my pregnancy isn't progressing. (It's my first pregnancy).

I found out I was pregnant on the 18th Feb after what I thought was a light period. The bleeding stopped and then started again a couple of days later. Just a little bit of red blood and then several days of brown bleeding. For that reason I was given an early scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit on the 24th Feb. They could see a yolk sac but it was too early to see anything else so they booked me in for another scan on the 7th March. At that one there was an embryo visible, but it was only 3.8mm and they couldn't yet see a heartbeat. They said it could just be a lot earlier on than they thought, but during my scan today they said that it hasn't grown since last week.

I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be good news. Up until about a week ago I was getting mild period pains (I guess from womb stretching) and this had stopped. I haven't really had many symptoms to speak of, apart from being more hungry, peeing a lot and being more tired so I was worried that HCG levels weren't rising as they should, and I think I may be right about that by the looks of things.

They were lovely with me at hospital and took the time to explain everything, but of course, I still feel I need more reassurance and could do with knowing other people's experiences who've already been through this.

They advised me to go home and think through the options available with the miscarriage (i.e. natural, medically induced or surgical).

My gut is telling me to wait it out and let it happen naturally. I know for sure I don't want the surgery. But I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. I suppose there's no way of knowing how long it'll take for it to happen naturally, but have any of you had a missed-miscarriage detected and opted for the natural route? How long did it take for things to happen? I have a feeling that now I know it's not a viable pregnancy my body will feel able to release it. Has anyone had this experience? Or did you wait days/weeks; and how did you deal with the wait? Did you go back to work? (I've told work I won't be in this week and will let them know for Monday).

Do you have any advice for when the bleeding and pain starts? (Emotionally and/or practically?)

Is there anything you'd wished you'd known from someone who'd already been through it before you miscarried?

Hi I'm similar to you with waiting for a miscarriage. I've just added a new thread. I've never had a miscarriage but I have had a healthy pregnancy before. It looks like my pregnancy stopped at ish week or it's eptopic. They can't find a sack but can find the pregnancy fluid. I'm so confused. Had no bleeding or pains. But I knew something wasn't right. Xx

So sorry to hear you're in the same boat. I've just read your thread as well. How are you doing emotionally? I had a really good cry this morning and now I just feel a bit numb.

The waiting to know what's going on is horrible. I had that twice between my first two scans and at least now I know for sure what's happening, so you must still feel a bit up-in-the-air. Sending hugs. Just take one day at a time until your next scan, and try to keep busy.

Yeah it's awful the not knowing. Because of my previous successful pregnancy this.has hit me as I just presumed id have another ok one. At the same time have some assurance that you'll go onto have a really healthy pregnancy after this one so don't get disheartened xx

I'm ok emotionally....like u I had a good cry and feel ok ish now just gutted.

Back to your initial queries.....me personally just want it all taking away and as soon as I can. It all depends on how strong u are as a person. I just like things to be dealt with and then I can draw a line under it. You'll be fine though whatever you decide to do xx

So sorry you’re going through this.

I had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks. Overall about 2 weeks of bleeding. Most of it was not too painful, just period-type cramps. There were a couple of days in the middle of heavy bleeding. Passing the sac was very painful, more like labour - lasted about 4 hours on and off.

I got pregnant again right after that miscarriage and had a healthy full-term pregnancy.

and for you.

Thank you 53rdWay. Lovely to know you had a successful pregnancy straight after.

I'm holding on to whatever positives I can. I know I can get pregnant at least!

Amymil, I totally understand wanting everything over and done with. If it comes to that for you I hope it all goes smoothly.

I've had surgeries before though and don't fancy another one. During one of my surgeries they had to remove one of my ovaries and it took me a long time to get over it emotionally. I just feel I'll grieve and move on better from passing the pregnancy naturally, even though it may be more drawn out and painful. I may regret this decision though. It's so hard to know before it happens.

So sorry that you're going through this KnitKitty. I had two MCs and am currently sat feeding my six month old daughter who is the result of my third pregnancy!

The first one was an MMC that hadn't progressed past 6 weeks and was discovered at 8 weeks at a private scan. I chose the medical option (as in the pills) as nothing has happened at 10 weeks and I just needed to move on. The limbo was hell. I was lucky in that I didn't find it very painful but unlucky in that it took two months or so to complete.

Sending hugs. It's a horrible thing to happen and I still think of my first two pregnancies even though if they had worked out I wouldn't have my lovely daughter now!

In terms of tips two hot water bottles got me through the worst of the pain. One for the tummy and one for the back. I just camped out on the sofa watching telly and getting my partner to bring me whatever I needed.

Hi. So sorry that you are going through this...seing you a hug. I had an mc about 10 yrs ago...it was my 2nd pregnancy.

Much like you I had bleeding for about 3 weeks on and off before I miscarried. An initial scan when bleeding first started showed a heartbeat but baby didn't thrive.

I opted to wait for nature and all came away the day after the scan confirmed the worst. . Like you said I firmly believe once it was confirmed my body started the process and luckily for me it wasn't prolonged.

I had strong cramps and without TMI spent a few hours on and off loo with a very heavy period. I struggled with the fact I'd miscarried into the loo....I knew I didn't want surgery and I couldn't face dealing with what was to come away. I'm not very religious but DH is and we visited his priest the night befire the muscarriage started and he blessesd my tummy where baby still was and we said a few prayers...it really helped me rationalise my decision to let it all go at home.

I still think of what could have been but time heals and I'm blessed with my first dc fir which I'm thankful

Take care xx

I found I had had a MMC at the 12 weeks scan, there was a sac but no embryo. I had some bleeding around that time and then nothing major for another two months when I had what I thought was the most horrendous period ever. After a day or two I had what I now realise we're essentially contractions and passed what must have been the sac. Though finding out that we had miscarried was pretty awful, I think the fact that it was never an embryo has helped me deal with it. I have also been lucky enough to go on to have a successful pregnancy with my next one and have been surprised by just how common MC is, with a significant number of my friends having experienced it.

I am sorry for your loss and sending you both and hugs. It is a tough time xxx

Thank you all for your kind replies. It's encouraging to know you've had successful pregnancies since your miscarriages.

Thanks Fudgecakes, I think it's important to be prepared for difficult emotional situations before they happen. I hadn't really considered how I'd feel about miscarrying in to the toilet, but I'm preparing myself for that now.

I'm not feeling too bad right now, but I think I may feel differently once the bleeding starts. I just hope it doesn't take too long because I'd really rather not need medical intervention if it can be prevented.

I'm so sorry to read your story, it's a horrible thing to go through, but you are not alone.

This is something I'm going through now, my story not too different from yours. It was confirmed on Friday that the miscarriage wasn't viable. The hospital was really nice and explained all my options so I took home a couple of leaflets to think things through.
I knew I didn't want the surgery but the limbo of waiting for things to happen naturally was getting to me and I wanted it to be over as soon as possible so I could move on. I decided to go for the medically managed route and had the tablets on Monday. As I'd been bleeding it all started pretty quickly but I'm still passing red blood and tissue now. The pain and bleeding was quite bad on Monday, worse than period cramps but passed after about 45mins, once I laid down and found a position that wasn't too uncomfortable! Since then, it has been more like a heavy period.
I am glad I chose this option. It was nice to have an idea of when it would all start, plus the hospital prescribed painkillers to help me manage the pain but it feels like my body is still processing things naturally.

Whichever option you choose, is the right one for you. If waiting for things to happen naturally is getting you down or stressing you out, you can change your mind and rediscuss the other options. Just take as much time as you need to process things physically and emotionally, talk about it and cry when you want to.

The waiting in the knowledge that the pregnancy isn't progressing is awful isn't it 😢 I had around 3hrs of very, very heavy bleeding and large (tangerine size) clots - think handtowels not sanitary towels! then normal period type bleeding for a few days. Pregnant successfully 3mrhs later and now have 2 great big DC ... 💐 for you both