I was getting positive frers since Thursday. Then yesterday I started bleeding. It was the expected day of my period so If i hadn't tested early I wouldn't even have known. I was barely pregnant, if at all. It was obviously a failed implantation/ chemical pregnancy. But for those few days as far as I was concerned, I was pregnant. I foolishly let myself get excited, I told dp and my mum, I looked up the due date.
This baby was really wanted. I had an ectopic in September and I have been worried about whether I would be able to conceive as I now only have 1 tube, I'm 36 and I have a history of endometriosis.
I have a 7 year old dd, but she is desperate for a baby brother or sister. She is not my partners and I want to give him a child. I want to give my parents another grandchild as we lost my brother not long ago so there is just me now. I feel I have failed every body yet again.
I drank far too much last night, I am in pain and bleeding heavily so I have not gone in to work. I am a mess.
I know this is not technically a miscarriage. I am basically having a period. But it is much heavier and crampier than usual.
I know I was never really pregnant in the first place, but I feel like I have lost a baby and I know that is silly. To be honest I feel like this with every period.