Time off work after SMM

[Mangopassionfruit]

I had surgical management of a MMC on Wednesday and took thurs and fri off for recovery. Planned to go back today but spent the whole of yesterday crying and realised I probably am not ready. I’m in a job where once I’m back that’s it - I am a teacher and on the senior leadership team.

Let boss know and she said it’s fine and not to worry. I then find out she was planning to tell staff ‘recovery is taking longer than usual’ which completely floored me, how can anything about this be ‘usual’?! I ended up asking whether she can just tell people so they can make up their mind about whether I’m being unusual or not. It will come as a shock to people that I was TTC in the first place.

This is my second miscarriage, the first one was at 5 weeks. I want to give myself enough time to recover before going back to the daily stresses of work as I can barely even concentrate on a conversation at the moment and I have always gone back to work too soon after stuff (been quite unlucky over the past few years) and ended up really regretting it. However I hate taking time off. Tried to get a GP appointment for today but they don’t have anything until tomorrow morning. Does anyone have any advice?

I'm sorry for your losses @Mangopassionfruit. It's extremely important you take time to get yourself back to normal before going back to work. You can self certify today and tomorrow then a Doctors note after that so tomorrow's GP appointment will be fine. Some people need days, others weeks so you're right in saying nothing is usual about this but try not to take it personally or worry about what others think. If they don't know why you're off they'll just accept that you're off for good reason I'm sure. Take care.

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you can count on so little support from your boss. My boss was very kind and understanding, but after being home for a week I felt like 'it was time' (I didn't feel emotionally ready, but I felt like I wouldn't be a good employee if I didn't return). First day at work my tears were all over the place. I decided to continue working, but after 2 weeks I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm home for another week and I'm not even sure if I'll be able to function appropriately at work after this week.
Anyways, I'm telling this because I wasn't ready when I resumed work. Don't make the same mistake and allow yourself sufficient time.

Sorry for your loss. I’ve had two smm, took a few days for the first, a week off for the second and there was no pressure at all to return.

I’m sorry for your losses.

I’m a teacher and just had 3 weeks off and then half term and gone back feeling really ready. I’ve actually felt good working. Had 2 weeks off last time, and was ok. 2 times before that had only a few days (but they were very early) and then 2 weeks off before that. I felt differently each time, this last one was bad, but I got all crying and hormones out of the way and i’m so glad I waited.

Basically, get signed off by the doctor and then get your emotions under control. Don’t go back until you feel ready. Teaching is a difficult job.