Why won’t my body let go?

[SingaVera]

Hi all, I have a suspected missed mc. Will have the final scan tomorrow to confirm. It seems like the embryo stopped developing at 3 weeks ago and I have lost all my symptoms for over a week now yet no spotting, bleeding and cramping. I have tried to google why my body won’t initiate the final step but couldn’t find anything on the topic. Doesn’t anyone know? I’m really getting upset about how long this is taking and why my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your body will catch up, but the waiting is hard, I know. I had an anembryonic pregnancy, so the embryo had barely grown at all but the gestational sack grew until about eight/ nine weeks. I found out at the twelve week scan, started bleeding a bit soon after that and everything was finished naturally within about a week and a half. I don't know why it takes so long, but it is normal I think. On top of the sadness and disappointment, your body is going through big hormonal changes- be gentle with yourself and take care xx

Hi @SingaVera.
Sorry to hear your going through this awful time. I know exactly how you feel. I was nearly 9 weeks and had some spotting two weeks ago. A scan at EPU confirmed sadly no heartbeat and was given the option to allow nature to take its course (but warned it could take up for 4 weeks!), medical management or surgery. I couldn't bear the thought of waiting that long so tried the medicated route which failed completely. Tried the medication again 5 days later and still nothing. I am now booked in for surgical removal tomorrow morning.

Since my initial bit of spotting I have had no further bleeding or cramps at all. In the last few days my symptoms has lessened so maybe my body is getting the hint finally but I just can't wait that long!!

It really is awful just waiting. I've been too scared to really go anyway or do anything as I'm worried I'm going to stay bleeding. Will be glad when tomorrow is out the way.

The NICE guidelines say allowing your body to do it is the best option but personally I need to regain control. Hopefully after you've had your scan and know where you are you can talk to staff about your options. Sending you kind thought

Hey, sorry for your loss. I also think this is 'normal' (as far as anything is normal when going though this). I've carried my baby until 13 weeks, but the baby had died at 8 weeks (so that's 5 weeks difference).
There is no medical and/or scientific proof to what I'm about to write, but I tell this to myself: If your body hangs onto the baby for so long, then maybe that means the cause wasn't with your body, or what you ate, did or didn't do. I tell myself my baby probably died because it didn't make a chance from a genetical point of view (and my body tried everything it could to sustain the baby's life). I find comfort in this, even though there may be no truth in it whatsoever.

@Yoshei I’ve had two mc’s, both have taken over 4 weeks to pass and one has to result in surgery. Just wanted to say how lovely it was to read your words and how much they touched me - thinking that my body tried its hardest to do all it could, and it wasn’t my bodies fault. I’ll try and think of it that way too from now on, thanks.

Yoshei
I always felt like my body was failing me in not helping to end it because I felt like it hadn’t recognised the problem. But you have such a positive way of looking at something so sad and I will look at it different from now on. I’ll always take comfort in your words. Thankyou.

Same happened to me OP.
My body just wouldn’t let go. My pregnancy wasn’t viable from the beginning with a very low and slow rising HCG.
I was given medical management at 9 and a half weeks after some bleeding but not losing it. That didn’t work. Eventually they thought my body had lost it and then 4 weeks later they found that it hadn’t.
I ended up with surgical management. I would have been 13 and a half weeks.
Don’t be hard on yourself. What your going through is difficult enough.