Help please: When does a natural miscarriage end?

[Mommabear101]

Hi,

Im sorry this is long winded! I really want to know how long a natural miscarriage can take?

This is my second pregnancy and with my first, we tried for a year but everything was well and miscarriage hadn’t even crossed my mind.

I found out in January I was pregnant again after just trying for two months. We was ecstatic and started thinking/planning our life as a family of 4. I also found out my Sil was expecting on the same day and the babies should only be 3 weeks apart although I didn’t tell her my news.

3 days after at 5w 4d I started spotting and over 3 days it turned bright red. I had a scan at the EPU they said I was measuring less than 4 weeks, there was a sac, a yolk but no fetal pole or heart beat ( they insinuated I was lying about the dates to get a scan
Twice!) The internal scan showed the same. I was asked to come back in two weeks.

I continued bleeding and just knew my baby had died but like a fool I held on so tightly to a spec of hope after reading stories online. When I went back 8w1d they did a scan and an internal and they confirmed only an empty sac was showing up. She said I had miscarried, quickly asked my to get dressed, gave me confusing directions to a counselling room and left me there for 45 mins alone, crying and in a daze

A nurse came in, told me i will expel the sac naturally, ( nothing about a placenta) gave me a report which showed the sac hadn’t grown much and was showing at 5w3d, 2 leaflets and a pg test to do in three weeks. If it was positive to come in for a scan.

I was that shocked and upset I didn’t really ask any questions but now I’m really mad at how clinical it all was and the lack of information.

I got more info from the internet and this has made me question, Is this a blighted ovum or a Mmc?

It’s a week later now and I’ve contined to bleed like a period but yesterday I passed what I thought was the sac, after searching the internet again I believe it’s the placenta, tmi but was red with fleshy bits, round and firm.

Will I still pass the sac at this stage? And what should I be looking out for? I’m still having contraction like pains and bleeding like I have been.

I feel utterly heartbroken and cannot wait for another two weeks to go for a scan at that horrible place. I still haven’t told anyone expect my dh, I cannot stand to chat to my sil complaining about sickness and how she’s getting bigger. Will these fade in time?

It sounds horrible but i just want this to end now so I can move on. I’m physically and emotionally drained and questioning if I want to try again. If I did, when is a good time to start trying?

Any advice will be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Hello - no advice here but sending you lots of hugs. So sorry you’re going through this. I was told last week I have just an empty sac too - appointment tomorrow to decide next steps. DP’s best friend expecting just a few days before we would have been so I understand your feelings about your SIL too. Hope everything works out for you xx

So sorry to hear this @Mommabear101. Take your time to process your grief. I thought I was doing ok a few weeks after MMC but then last night found myself needing a good cry. For me, one of the most therapeutic things is talking. Whether that be in here or to a friend is entirely up to you but you don't have to do this alone.
EPU can be a horrible place and even worse if they don't seem sympathetic to what you're dealing with. Mine gave us zero information initially but as I got into the headspace to start asking questions they've been much better. If you start thinking of things you want to know, write them down and take them to your next appointment.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. xx

Firstly I am very sorry for your loss. Mc are hard & even more so when a close friend / relative is pregnant at the same time.
Secondly I think your EPU have been terrible! They should be offering more support to women suffering mc.
Lastly and on a practical note, it sounds like you have probably passed the sac. It would all have been quite small at this early stage. There will probably be more clots and bleeding but then this should start to settle down soon.
Take painkillers, have a hot water bottle, whatever works for you. Is your DH able to stay at home with you?
It does get easier with time, although you won’t believe this now.
As for trying again, you can do this straight away but I would give yourself time to recover emotionally a bit first.

@mangopassionfruit, hi there, Thankyou for your reply, I’m so sorry you are also going through this, it’s such a horrible time.

If you haven’t been for your appt yet I hope you get the answers your looking for. Hidcat has made a really good point about writing questions down. I wish I had taken my dh with me now looking back and not gone alone.

Big hugs and wishing you all the best. X

Thankyou all for your replies and the advice. I’m so sorry for the losses you have been through too. it seems strange when you know mc happens so often but you still feel so alone. Just posting it on here has made me feel a little less alone.

@Hidcat it’s a really good point you have made about writing the questions down, I will definitely be doing that before my next appt. I hope you are feeling slightly better today?

@carrotcakemuffins Thankyou and I’m sorry you have been through this too.

I’m really hoping your right about what has passed and what’s happening now does sound a lot more like what you have mentioned.

Looking back I was really silly by not asking my dh to stay with me for the first few days, he’s stayed home since he has been really supportive.

Thanks again all x

Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit more reassured. Take each day as it comes and don’t expect too much of yourself. X