First pregnancy resulted in miscarriage

[PumpkinPatch000]

Hello, i'm not too sure what to write really but came across this board and felt like I wanted to post because other people will know how i'm feeling and may have some advice.

At almost 6w pregnant I started light brown spotting (on Thursday), I was sent for an early scan and blood test yesterday. They couldn't see anything on the scan but thought maybe the dates could be out as my periods are irregular so they weren't too worried. Sent me for a blood test though and the levels were so low they said I'd had a miscarriage. Last night the cramps in my back, lower abdomen and down below were very painful and I'm now bleeding.

Has anyone got advice on how to cope with the loss and what happens now and what to do? This was our first pregnancy and I don't really know what to expect. We were too shocked and upset to really ask the hospital much on the phone yesterday when we found out the result.

I really hope this post doesn't upset anyone, I wasn't sure whether to post it or not.

Hi not really any advise for you but just thought I'd let you know your not on your own. I also found out yesterday I have had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks so we have to go back to the hospital tomorrow in order for them to help the baby to come out. This is mine and my partners second loss and it really is such a horrible and lonely time. Virtual hugs xx

My very first pregnancy ended in mc at 6 weeks. I went on to have many many dc. I conceived my first dd the month after the d&c in fact.

So sorry for your loss. I was the same - mc at 7 weeks of our first pregnancy back in November. I am still emotionally hurting a lot, although physically everything seems fine.

I find it therapeutic to talk about it but it took me a month or so before I felt I wanted to. It is a long road to heal, I think, and even nearly 3 months on I am only at the beginning of the journey. Obviously some women can cope better than I, I don't mean to sound negative. I know I'll get there and you will too, eventually.

I have a RL friend and a cousin who both also had a mc so I talk to them a lot. Give yourself plenty of time.

Same here mc on Tuesday. Not got appt until Monday. Let me know how you get on!

Thank you for your support everyone. i'm so sad you have had a similar experience but it's also good to be able to speak with people who know how it feels.

Feeling like i'm on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. One minute i'm handing it and the next crying and feeling terribly guilty.

@bean22 so sorry to hear that. I hope everything goes okay at the hospital today, i'll be thinking of you. Sending love x

@myddognearlyatethedeliveryman that is so good to hear! It's very re-assuring to know you've had a positive experience after your MC. Did you wait for your first period before you started trying again? I hope you don't mind me asking but i've seen so many mixed things online it's hard to tell. In my heart I want to try sooner rather than later but it's early days so i'll see how we feel in a week or so.

thank you @FoxtrotSkarloey I've got lots of questions running through my mind. The hospital didn't say anything about needing to go back for any checks or doing a pregnancy test at any point and telling them the result. i'm assuming because the scan already showed there was nothing there. Is that normal to not have to see anyone after and just be sent on your way? I've had a look at the miscarriage association website, thanks for the recommendation. They have useful info there that was good to read. I guess another question I have is how long should I expect to bleed for? i'm due back at work tomorrow and i'm worried if i'll cope. I want to go because it will keep me busy though. The miscarriage is on my mind constantly and the moment and I could do with the distraction.

Thank you @SoozC sorry for your loss also and that you're finding things difficult. It's a lot to come to terms with. I know what you mean about talking about it. I find it helps being on here a lot but I can't talk about it out loud, I think it makes it feel too real. At some point I should though, i'm too good at bottling things up. I'm really glad you have a RL friend and cousin you can talk to, it must help a lot.

Sorry to hear that @Star1234567 I hope your appointment goes okay on Tuesday. I'll be thinking of you

xx

Echo what other pp have said @PumpkinPatch000 - had the same situ a couple of weeks ago and it was all the things you say; surprising, confusing, devastating - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I would recommend paracetamol, heat and rest while you are still bleeding - with any luck it won't be heavy for long, mine wasn't. Was nervous about having a hot bath but really craving one and DH said go for it, if it's messy we'll deal with it, bless him - but it wasn't at all and it was total heaven, really soothed the cramping and very comforting. I had lots of red meat and spinach to keep iron levels up and have no idea whether it would be advised or not but I had a big glass of red wine (first in a few weeks obviously!) and it was very soothing and gave me a bit of pep! Mentally, just give yourself space to feel what you feel, and hopefully lots of TLC. I cried and raged on and off between being fine and feeling positive - just go with what you need.

Keep calling the EPU if you need reassurance - mine were lovely to me on the phone. They advised bleeding would last 5-7 days (mine was over in 4 but several other ladies I've spoken to on here had spotting for a couple of weeks) and to just sit it out, lots of pads, pain relief when required and to take a HPT in two weeks time. If the HPT is negative then you can try again immediately - although it's hard to know when you ovulate after MC many ladies on here have gone on to conceive a few weeks later, sometimes as little as two weeks! If you've had a negative HPT and you feel up to it then go for it - the only difficulty is in dating a pregnancy in the early weeks without a date for the last menstrual period, but there's no physical reason not to. But if you don't feel up to it yet, take your time! If an HPT is positive after two weeks they suggested I ring again in case it was worth going in to check all was as normal.

Everyone's different and follow what your head and your heart are telling you. For us it was a first try and we caught quickly so we have made our peace with it and are trying again this month. It helped me a lot to gently return to MN boards - there's a lovely supportive thread for ladies trying or thinking about trying or waiting to try again after mc here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3143208-TTC-after-pregnancy-loss-Thread-16-New-Year-new-hope-for-all

and there are a few ladies in the same boat on the conception buses, which are more lighthearted (took me a few days to gather my strength to get back on the bus but it is really helping me think positive now!!)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3132574-Feb-Bus-Fingers-crossed

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3157023-March-bus-bfp-s-welcome

Lastly never feel bad about posting, it's why we're all here, and definitely helps not bottling it all up esp when it's hard to talk about IRL. Hope it's over for you soon

@PumpkinPatch000 how are you doing?

I have just experienced miscarriage at 6w too, first pregnancy also. It's really hard and gives me hope to read about other people's experiences here. We are going to wait a cycle and hopefully start trying again. I think the best thing is just to take super good care of ourselves for now and try to heal slowly. I don't really feel happy or sad at the moment, i'm somewhere in between. (don't get me wrong I cried for 4 days straight whilst it was happening) Part of me wants to move on quickly and stay upbeat and positive about the future.. I feel like i need to focus on my overall health and then try again but I have no idea if i'm being realistic and maybe blocking things out. Is this normal? I am lost at sea as well. I am really sorry for your loss.

Hi @Oaktree3 just spotted a new message on this one - very sorry for your loss.

I think treat whatever you're feeling as normal - there's no blueprint but it sounds like you're in a healthy place. I was extremely sad for the duration of the MC then picked myself up quite a lot quite quickly. We tried again immediately and had another (very) early bfp followed by bfn in feb - I was more annoyed than sad this time & of course could be cause for worry, but for now only treating it as a verification of the stats about failed implantation that you never know about.

You're right to prioritise looking after yourself but don't feel guilty or question yourself for thinking upbeat and positive - no kind of stress is good for TTC and accepting the odds and looking to the future seems a really healthy response to me. The TTC after Pregnancy Loss thread is a goodie if you need a bit of ongoing handhold. Good luck x

Hi, I have had a miscarriage (currently going through it) today. Off to my nearest A&E shortly as advised by my gp. It’s also my first and I’m around 5 weeks.

All I can say is that it’s shit and shocking and very upsetting. I don’t plan on trying until May/ June as I’d like to heal emotionally as well as physically but I would encourage you to try as soon as you want to/are ready to.

I hope you feel better soon.

@PumpkinPatch000 it’s horrible. I’ve been there too and it does suck.

I was rushed to A&E and had several trips to the hospital despite having a natural miscarriage. What I would suggest to anyone going through this is to look on the website The Miscarriage Association.
https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

There are lots of downloadable leaflets that both myself and my partner read as I didn’t feel the hospitals were given us much support and they certainly weren’t giving us any answers! There’s also a leaflet specifically for partners supporting you through this and helping them to understand.

I 100% recommend turning to them for support.